Last Friday Night
by amandac3
Summary: Whipped cream flavored vodka, Justin Bieber, skinny dipping & Birthday Sex! Spend 24 hours in the life of Edward Masen. While celebrating their dirty thirty, twins Edward and Jasper, and their bestie, Emmett, carve a path of destruction through the city.
1. Prologue – Think We Kissed but I Forgot

**A/N: Hello Fan Fiction World! This is my first foray into writing fan fiction, into writing in general really. I've been reading it, it being Twilight fan fiction, for the last 3 years or so and I LOVE it, so I though what the hell, let's try it. **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds. **

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to LovinRob for pulling this story out of me when I said I couldn't do it and for fixing all of my boo-boo's. Thanks to DannysMom for telling me if I suck or not and for entertaining me with your awesome life experiences. **

**You ladies rock my socks!**

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><p>Prologue – Think We Kissed but I Forgot<p>

Last Friday Night  
>by Katy Perry<p>

There's a stranger in my bed  
>There's a pounding my head<br>Glitter all over the room  
>Pink flamingos in the pool<br>I smell like a minibar  
>DJ's passed out in the yard<br>Barbie's on the barbeque

Last Friday night  
>We went streaking in the park<br>Skinny dipping in the dark  
>Then had a ménage a trois<br>Last Friday night  
>Yeah I think we broke the law<br>Always say we're gonna stop-op  
>Whoa-oh-oah<p>

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><p>Saturday, 9am<p>

I'm dead. I have to be dead. There can be no other reason for me to feel this shitty. I must have sold my soul to the devil himself last night. It feels like Jasper took his Louisville Slugger to my skull, many times, and hard. I think I have those little seafood forks stuck into each one of my eyes. My mouth, oh god, my mouth tastes like a mixture of whipped cream and beer and kitty litter. I smack my lips together and try to swish some saliva around in an attempt to rid my mouth of the fields of cotton that have sprouted in there over night, to no avail.

My body feels like I've been whipped into submission by the most dominating dominatrix ever to dominate, not that I'd actually know what that feels like, but I have a pretty vivid imagination and I read fan fiction, don't judge, so I can imagine this is what that feels like. My muscles are achy and coiled tight and I'm afraid that if I move, well, if I move a muscle, they will snap and shoot off like a rubber band. I hate rubber bands, those things hurt like a son of a bitch when you get snapped with one. My left shoulder is covered with a bruise or some sort of rash or, rug burn?

I think I may have lost my right arm in some sort of death match last night as I can no longer feel the extremity. It's just a lump under my stomach now. I'm slightly freaked out about this, because how will I jack off now, never mind all the other shit I do with my right hand, like write and smoke and shift and swing a golf club. I've tried to rub one out with my left hand before and that shit just doesn't work, at all. Shit! I manage to pull the lump out from under my stomach and almost instantly regret it. It feels like its being electrocuted and I almost wish I left it as a useless lump, because that tingly, knife stabbing, electrocution feeling of bringing a sleeping limb back to life, is so not worth it. One plus though is that at least I'll be able to jack off still. I groan. I'm still not ready to open my eyes yet and I think those little forks are preventing me from doing so anyway, so I decide to take stock of myself blindly.

I'm alive, barely. I'm fairly certain that I'm in my own bed. The mattress feels familiar and I can smell my lavender dryer sheets on the pillow that I am currently face down on. How did I get home though? I try to remember what happened last night. My brain has turned into the consistency of a Jamba Juice smoothie because of the multiple swings of the Slugger that I'm convinced I took at some point within the last 24 hours, so trying to recollect anything is difficult and it hurts, badly.

So, I got off work, check. I came home, shit, shaved and bathed, check. Jasper and Emmett met me here, check. Wait, I have a faint recollection of Emmett dancing in my living room in his underwear. I try to shake that thought out of my brain and, HOLY SHIT, head shaking and smoothie brains don't blend well. I want my mommy! We went out to dinner, check. We went to the club in Chandler, check. This is where things start to get fuzzy.

Was Alice there? I can remember someone who looked a lot like her all over my brother. I remember blonde hair and big tits and Emmett all up on that shit like a fat kid in a candy store. I remember mahogany hair and sun kissed perfection and I was like the moth to her flame. There was some drinking, and some more drinking, and drinking some more. I remember dancing and grinding and grinding and dancing and... Well shit, where did the rest of my night go.

I rolled over onto my back and stretched my arms out, both of them, since the dead lump is now back in business, mostly anyway, I still don't have a lot of control over its actions and it was really fucking heavy. I managed to pull it over my body but it flew, out of control, the rest of the way out and away from my body, fast and heavy, and ended up smashing into a face, a face too smooth to be Emmett's. And there is hair, a lot of hair, too much to be Jasper's unruly mop. Now, I don't make a habit of touching my brother's hair or my best friends face, these are just general observations.

The smash to the side of the face caused my mystery sleeping companion to roll over and snuggle into my neck. Then there is a naked leg slung over my waist. Then I realize that I am naked as well. What the fuck? All of this had occurred and I still haven't even opened my fucking eyes yet! I crack one eye open and immediately realize that I didn't shut my blinds last night as the sun streaming in the window makes it feel like someone is trying to gouge my eyes out with a grapefruit spoon. I turn my face away from the window and into mystery woman's hair. She smells heavenly, like sex and sin, caramel chocolate and whipped cream. What the fuck did we do with whipped cream last night? I gag just a little and my stomach churns. I fucking hate whipped cream, unless it's in the form of a bikini.

"Mmmmm," mystery girl moans and there is now an arm on my chest and warm little fingers playing with the little bit of chest hair that I proudly possess. Instinctively, I bring my arm around her and draw her closer to me. My dick is obviously not suffering the consequences of this hangover and is happily hard and ready for another go round with this girl. There is a small kiss on my neck and I swear she licks me too. She giggles and starts to sing in a sleepy, raspy voice;

_"Last Friday night  
>Yeah we danced on table tops<br>and we took too many shots  
>Think we kissed but I forgot."<em>

"You smell like a mini bar, Edwardo."

"Ditto, Honey Bee."

Lightning strikes. Suddenly the rest of the night comes back into focus, like someone flipped on a light, illuminating all the dark scary corners and some of them are scary as fuck. The images flicker through my mind like I'm looking into one of those View-Master's I played with as a kid. Whipped cream flavored vodka, flick and spin; Justin Bieber, flick and spin; skinny dipping, flick and spin; and Birthday Sex, flick and spin!

Holy fucking shit!

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><p><strong>AN: Indeed! **

**Well, I did it! Eeeeeee! I'm going to go chew all my finger nails off now while I wait to see if anyone will actually read this silliness.**

**Thanks for reading and let me know what you think. **


	2. Chapter 1 – Oops, I Said On My Dick

**A/N: Hi again! *waves* Ok, if you're still with me after the Prologue, Welcome Back and here's the deal. This will be strictly EPOV. Each chapter will represent one hour of this crazy night, so therefore there will be approximately 20 chapters of this ditty. It will be pure fluffy silliness. I also plan to update on Friday's, meant to last night, but I was snoozing by 7:30. So, a day late and a dollar short, or whatever. **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds. **

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to LovinRob for pulling this story out of me when I said I couldn't do it and for fixing all of my boo-boo's. Thanks to DannysMom for telling me if I suck or not and for entertaining me with your awesome life experiences. **

**You ladies rock my socks!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 1 - Oops, I Said On My Dick<p>

Look At Me Now  
>by Chris Brown, featuring Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne<p>

Yellow model chick, yellow bottle sipping  
>Yellow Lamborghini, yellow top missing<br>Yeah, yeah, that shit look like a toupee  
>I get what you get in ten years, in two days<p>

Ladies love me, I'm on my cool J  
>If you get what I get, what would you say?<br>She wax it all off, Mr. Miyagi  
>And them suicide doors, hari kari<p>

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><p>Friday 3-4pm<p>

I'm going to be 30 years old. My brother, Jasper, and I are turning 30 tomorrow. June 20, 1981. Man, where the fuck did the time go? It feels like just yesterday we were little shit heads causing our parents a pile of grief. We're twins by the way if you didn't figure that out by deductive reasoning.

We really weren't any worse than any other kids, better than most probably. I remember when we were 15 my dad sat us both down and had a very important discussion with us. Not the discussion most would think a dad would have with his teenage sons that are about to be freshmen in high school, you know the one, the birds and the bees discussion.

No, we had that particularly embarrassing discussion two years prior, after my mom caught Jasper with his tongue down Alice Cullen's throat. I was slightly horrified with the details of that conversation. Jasper, not so much, he had his tongue back down Alice's throat the next day behind the gymnasium. At the time, I assured myself that I would NEVER participate in that particular act, yuck! Thankfully, that mindset only lasted until I was 14 and Lauren, who was an older woman of 16 by the way, showed me her tits. That flipped my sex switch.

No, we had the "get out of jail free card" discussion because Garrett from down the street had been arrested for something or other. My dad told us that if we ever got arrested he would bail us each out one time, and if it happened again we would be on our own. We both are still holding onto that card, both having the typical close calls during our high school days, but never actually getting arrested. We partied and experienced all the things one is expected to experience in high school; sex, drugs and rock n roll.

I remember this one time, at band camp… Just kidding. Seriously though, there was this one time that we were all out partying at this fuck awesome spot in the woods. We called it "Cherry Spot" because it was fucking sweet. You needed a 4x4 to get there. Luckily Emmett had a Ford Ranger that we would always take. So this one night, we're all standing around the fire and we see headlights. Now, we get all sorts of paranoid because anyone who knows where this place is currently is present in said place. We start gathering all the empty bottles and tossing them back into the coolers. Then we drag the coolers off and hide them behind the trees. It's dark enough that no one would notice unless they were to really look. Sure enough, 5 minutes later a fucking cop car pulls up and 2 of them get out of the SUV.

_FLASHBACK_

"_What's going on out here tonight kids?" Pig #1 asks._

_We all just kind of gawk at him, all guilty like. Pig #2 shines his bright assed flash light into mine and Emmett's faces._

"_Mr. Masen, Mr. Cullen. Either one of you want to tell me what's going on out here?"_

"_Nothing much sir, just hanging out one last time before school starts," Emmett responds._

_The cops just flash their bright assed flash lights at all of us._

"_You boys doing any drinking tonight?" Pig #1 asks._

_Just as he asks this, we can hear drunken giggling coming from the woods. Jessica and Lauren had wandered off into the trees to piss or make out or something. They obviously didn't see the Pigs pull up so they are not even attempting to act sober. Stupid chicks._

_They just casually stroll over to Mike's Bronco, still oblivious, and grab their bottles of Kiwi Strawberry Snapple, still giggling._

"_Ladies?" Pig #2 asks._

_They both turn and have that look on their faces, you know, the "deer in headlights" look. They both recap their bottles and set them back down on the floorboard of the bronco._

"_Yes officer?" Lauren responds, all breathy and saccharine sweet. She's a little bit slutty._

"_You been drinking tonight, Ms. Mallory?" asks Pig #2_

"_No sir."_

"_How about you, Ms. Stanley?" again from Pig #2_

"_No sir."_

"_Can I see those bottles please?" asks Pig #1. Shit!_

"_Sure," Lauren responds. WHAT?_

_Pig #1 removes the lids and takes a whiff. I can see everyone stiffen. He takes another whiff. Everyone stiffens again. He places the lid back onto Lauren's bottle and walks back to his SUV. Pig #2 is already standing by the passenger door._

"_Hmm, ok kids. You be safe, ya hear? Please don't drive if you've been drinking tonight." He gets into the driver's seat and backs out before turning around and driving away._

_There is collective sigh from the group, except from Lauren and Jessica, they fucking giggle again._

"_What is in that bottle Lauren?" Tyler asks._

"_Everclear, you can't smell it," she laughs._

"_Fuck! That was close," Jasper says._

"_No shit bro!" I respond._

_END FLASHBACK _

We each played a sport; it was my parent's one requirement during our school days. They said it taught us teamwork and commitment and responsibility. It kept us out from in front of the TV or behind the computer. So Jasper continued with baseball, seeing how we had played since we were old enough to hold a bat. Jasper was a fucking natural from the beginning. He was always the best on every team we ever played on. I was an ok player but I never cared for it as much as him.

So, I chose to join the high school golf team instead. No offense to my brother, but in my opinion, Golf requires more effort, mentally and physically. You need to take more things into consideration when playing Golf. How far is the green? What club do I need to use to get closest to the green? Which direction is the wind blowing? What angle do I need to putt the ball to make it into the hole? In baseball, you grab a wooden stick and swing it at a little leather ball and hope is goes past the fence. I still play Golf, but now it's just for fun. It's therapeutic for me and it gives me an excuse to wear crazy colored trousers. Because I wouldn't wear pink pants anywhere except on the golf course.

Now as far as relationships go, Jasper has been "just friends" with Alice since we were 13 and she was 12, since the tongue incident, but we have known her and her brother, Emmett, who's our age, since we were in 3rd grade. This is when the Cullen's moved to Forks, WA. That is where we grew up and that is where my parents still live, Peter and Charlotte Masen, right next door to Carlisle and Esme Cullen. It's your typical tiny town. Everyone knows everyone's business. There are no secrets in a town that small. It's also in Washington, so it rains, A LOT, and it sleets and it slushes and it snows. So it's just a wet place all around. It's small, only 1 grocery store, no Target, no Wal-mart. There is a small 2 screen movie theater. It gets new releases about a month after they are actual new releases. There is one High School, one Middle School, and two Elementary Schools.

My dad is the Chief of Police and my mom is a Kindergarten teacher. They've both lived in Forks their entire lives. They have known each other since birth. They have been in love since they were 5 or some shit like that. And after 31 years of marriage, are still as happy as they were back then. I strive to have that one day. Carlisle is Chief of Staff of Forks General Hospital. Maybe that's why he and my dad get along so well, they're both "Chiefs." Esme was a stay at home mom until Alice left for college. She got restless with no kids to look after, so she started working part time at New Beginnings, the local domestic violence shelter. She is now the director there.

So anyway, Jasper and Alice experienced all their firsts together, including their first long distance relationship. They've always been consistent in each other's lives, even when they are denying it, which is most times. Not sure why they do it? They've never been with anyone else, never even tried to be with anyone else. It's blatantly obvious that they love each other when they are together, honestly it's fucking disgusting. But whatever works for them I guess.

The only consistent thing I've had in my life has been Rosie Palm and her five friends. I've dated a bit, nothing really serious or long term until that skank bitch Tanya. I'm not even ready to get into that fucked up debacle, but, long story short, we dated for about 8 months and then we broke up about 6 weeks ago. I was foolish enough to think she was "the one". Moving on...

I consider myself well versed in the act of sexual intercourse, but not so much to consider myself a man whore. I'm a mildly attractive guy, I live in Phoenix where beautiful women run rampant and clothing is minimal, so put two and two together, and well, there you go. My choice of career doesn't hurt either.

My brother was always fucking awesome at baseball. He got a full ride to ASU to be a pitcher for them. He then got picked up by the Diamondbacks when he was 20 and has been their star pitcher ever since. He's my brother, my twin, so I couldn't very well let him go all the way to Phoenix alone. So I tagged along and got enrolled in school and we did the whole college experience.

Emmett joined us in Phoenix about a year after high school, after he decided that living in Alaska was not for him. Emmett is a veterinarian and he is the keeper of the bears at the Phoenix Zoo. Alice went to UC San Diego and still lives there. She runs some sort of little vintage fashion boutique with some of her college friends.

Me, well I'm a firefighter for Gilbert Fire Department. I am currently stationed at House #5. I thought about being a nurse or a doctor but I just couldn't do it for some reason, the excessive schooling probably. Whatever. I'm happy and I really enjoy what I do. Firefighting has always been something I was interested in. There is just something rewarding about it, emotionally, mentally and physically.

It takes an enormous amount of physical strength to carry all your gear. The fireproof suit alone can weigh up to 70 pounds. Then add in the hoses and other equipment, and you could be carrying up to 100 pounds. Then you are standing in a burning structure and the heat is intense. After working a call, your muscles are burning, tight and straining. Your body is drenched in sweat from the heat and the fireproof suit. Your face and arms are covered in smears of soot. Your body is craving water. So, after stripping off the suits jacket, standing in the blazing sunshine of the Arizona desert, with nothing but a wife beater and my suit pants on, held up by the suspenders, I first douse myself with a bottle of water, over my head and shoulders and then I drink several bottles to rehydrate my body. It's an amazing feeling that I wouldn't trade for anything.

Seeing how I live in the desert, most calls are for structure fires. There are not many forest fires to deal with, an occasional brush fire, but that's about it. I know that fire is dangerous and destructive, but it's just so mesmerizing and beautiful. When I first started with my training, I would find myself getting lost in the way the flames would lick up the side of the building or would crawl up onto the ceiling of the safe house. Now, that is an extremely dangerous thing to let happen. It can cause injury to yourself and others. I had to learn that lesson hard and fast.

During my first single training module, I spaced out and the flames almost engulfed me before my spotter had to run into the safe house to pull me out, to bring me back to reality. That was the last time that happened. My chief also told me that if it happened again I was out of the program. I sharpened my focus and ended up graduating top of my class.

I'm coming off a 3 day shift at the fire house and am really looking forward to having a full weekend off. I'm going out with the boys tonight, for the first time in awhile. We all live in the same apartment complex but real life gets in the way so sometimes we don't see each other for awhile, especially Jasper with his traveling for away games. We try to do dinner together at one of our places at least once a week, but this is the first night out on the town in probably a year or more, last time was before Tanya entered the picture.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I live in the Ahwatukee Foothills. It's located in the east valley of greater metropolitan Phoenix. My apartment is the shit. It's only a one bedroom in the San Riva Apartment Community, but it's large for a one bedroom, a little over 900 square feet. It's got a walk in closet, a large bathroom, spacious kitchen. I should work here; I could rent the shit out of these apartments. There is a full size washer and dryer in the apartment, which was an absolute necessity. The shit hole Jasper and I lived in during our first few years on our own, only had one washer and dryer for each side of the building which housed 12 apartments. It fucking sucked!

They offer two and three bedroom apartments also and the three of us considered getting a place together, but I don't share well with others and I really just wanted a place of my own. So I got my one bedroom and Jizz and Ham got a two bedroom in the building across from mine. Our patios face each other, so I can see when Emmett is watching TV in his underwear.

Jizz? Ham? Well, we all have fucked up nicknames for each other. Jasper's came when he decided to take a French class our freshman year in high school. The teacher was not French, but she spoke it beautifully. With the French accent, when she would say Jasper, it would come out sounding like Jizzper, so after we made ass loads of fun of him, we took to calling him Jizz and it stuck.

Emmett's came about our 7th grade year, when he tried out for the end of year play. It was a Shakespeare play. Our dear Emmett is a jokester and prankster and NOT Shakespeare material, but he was determined. So he practiced and practiced and he tried out and actually got the leading role in Hamlet. It was awful. He never tried out for another play after that. We decided to taunt him about it and call him Ham after that, and like Jizz, it just stuck. He also eats like giant pig, so we could use that as a reason also.

The first thing I notice when I walk up to my front door is that the TV is on, and it is loudly pumping out some sort of hip hop music.

_"Better cuff your chick if you with her, I can get her and she accidentally slip and fall on my dick. Oops, I said on my dick. I ain't really mean to say on my dick, but since we talking about my dick, all of you haters say hi to it. I'm done."_

I sigh, "Emmett." He's a hip hopper.

As I open my front door, which isn't locked mind you, I notice a Hobbit foot hanging over the arm of my couch, bouncing in time with the music. I slam the door.

"Eddie Munster! What's happening?" That is NOT my nickname.

"Dude! First, get your giant assed Hobbit feet off my couch. Second, turn that shit down. Third, don't call me that. Fourth, why aren't you at your own apartment? Fifth, lock the motherfucking door, this isn't Forks. Sixth..." I didn't get to finish.

"Geez, Edward! Chill the fuck out! It's your birthday weekend; we are hitting the clubs tonight, which is good because you need to get laid! Your dick might not work in few years since you're dirty thirty now, you old assed mother fucker. Better take advantage while you can, Edwardo."

Ahh, there it is. Edwardo or Wardo for short. I can thank Alice for that one, the little pixie bitch. She took Spanish her junior year and started calling everyone by the Spanish variation of their name. I became Edwardo. There were no Spanish variations of Jasper or Emmett, so those bastards lucked out on that one. I started calling Alice, Alize, yes like the drink, because she would down than shit like it was water, still does. Lush.

"Where's Jasper?" I ask as I ignore his last statement. Emmett is a man whore.

"He's sleeping and I didn't feel like being quiet, so here I am."

"Whatever. I'm going to take a shower."

"Rub one out while you're in there please. I don't want your uptight ass ruining my night! It may help you last longer too if you decide to bring a little chicklet home with you." He guffaws and it rattles my walls.

"Seriously Ham? What the fuck is wrong with you?" He just shrugs his shoulders in response.

Stupid ass.

As I walk away the giant assed Hobbit foot goes back over my couch and the volume on the TV goes back up.

Fuck My Life!

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><p><strong>AN: I love me some silly Emmett!**

**I'm a crazy FF reader and I always like when the authors of the fics share what they are reading, so I'm gonna follow suit there. **

**This week I'm gonna pimp my girl, LovinRob's story, Take Me Home. **

**Bella is a sex addict who has a dark history involving abuse. One day she meets Edward and has a one night stand with him but then is unable to stop thinking about him. Edward is very kind hearted and somewhat shy. Can he teach her that love is tangible?**

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
><strong>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>**


	3. Chapter 2 – Poor Pussy Poor Pussy Cat

**A/N: Welcome back peeps. Here is the next installment in this crazy assed adventure. Things will start to pick-up from here on out and it's gonna be fun, fun, fun! **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.  
><strong>Self inflicted citrus warning ahead. ;) <strong>**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to LovinRob for pulling this story out of me when I said I couldn't do it and for fixing all of my boo-boo's. Thanks to DannysMom for telling me if I suck or not and for entertaining me with your awesome life experiences. **

**You ladies rock my socks!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 2 - Poor Pussy Poor Pussy Cat<p>

I'm Too Sexy  
>by Right Said Fred<p>

I'm too sexy for my car  
>Too sexy for my car<br>Too sexy by far  
>And I'm too sexy for my hat<br>Too sexy for my hat  
>What do you think about that?<p>

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><p>Friday 4-5pm<p>

Nothing beats taking a shower in my large oval bathtub. I hate showering at the station. The stall is about 6 inches by 6 inches, you can barely fucking turn around in there, never mind jacking off. Lame! I also enjoy the fact that I don't have to wear flip flops in here. Who knows what is covering that stall floor. The water is warmer and the pressure is heaven when it pounds on my back. That may have something to do with the upgraded shower head that I spent $70 on. It's otherworldly and I have been spoiled for all other shower heads in the future.

Speaking of jacking off, I think I'll take Emmett's advice and relieve some of my tension. It's been about 2 months since my dick has gotten wet with something other than the lube stashed in my nightstand drawer.

I grab my limp dick and he starts to perk up right away. I pump my shaft a few times and close my eyes, thinking of that hot chick from Castle. Stella, Stana, I don't fucking know, but she's gorgeous. I have to use my imagination because I couldn't find any pictures of her in something skimpy, like a bikini. Trust me, I googled that shit.

So, I imagine her naked and on her knees in the shower with me. Stroke up, twist, stroke down.

The water is spraying down on her and it is running in rivulets down between her tits, down her stomach and in between her legs. I've never been jealous of water before. She has her head tilted back just enough that my dick sits right at her lips. Stroke up, stroke down, stroke up, squeeze, stroke down.

She places her hands on my thighs and opens her mouth. She doesn't move, just looks up at me through her lashes. Fuck me, that's so hot. Stroke, stroke, stroke faster, squeezy twist.

I push the head of my cock into her mouth. She moans around me and I cum. Damn, I'm kind of embarrassed that I busted so soon. I was enjoying that fantasy and I barely got into her mouth before it was over. I'm turning into my 15 year old self again who can't control his orgasm.

I wash my hair and body and turn off the water. I hear music and singing, ghastly singing, ghastly LOUD singing. I grab my towel and wrap it around my waist. I open the door and my eyes widen at the sight in my living room.

_"Cause I'm a model you know what I mean_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_

_I shake my little tush on the catwalk_

_I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat _

_Poor pussy poor pussy cat _

_I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love _

_Love's going to leave me"_

Emmett is mostly naked, now that I can see him over the back of the couch. He's got on the tiniest pair of Calvin Klein briefs I've ever seen and he's standing in front of the TV, rotating his hips and thrusting his junk towards the screen and singing. Now, Emmett is a big dude. He's like 6' 3" and weighs about 250 pounds. He's ripped, not like bodybuilder ripped, but an "I work out often and drink protein shakes" kind of ripped. I'm a little jealous to be honest. I've always been a bit lanky. Since becoming a firefighter though, I have added some muscle, but it's long and lean muscle, not bulging and bulky muscle. That's Ham. Jizz could be our love child, metaphorically speaking of course. He's not as lanky and long and lean as me or as big and bulging and bulky as Emmett. He's a perfect blend; again, I'm only speaking metaphorically.

I'm speechless, stunned. Suddenly my front door swings open and Jasper strolls in, he looks at Emmett and just shakes his head. Emmett doesn't stop; in fact, he is facing us now and has increased the pace of his hip rolls and thrusts.

"My brotha how's the babysitting going?" He points his thumb over his shoulder at Emmett and laughs.

"I don't know how you live with him. Is he like this all the time?" I ask.

"Usually, yes. I'm not home a lot so I don't have to endure it that much." Jasper explains.

"Aww, come on twinsies, you know you love me." Emmett calls out to us, still thrusting.

"Where the fuck are your clothes, Ham?" I ask him.

"I only wore my shorts over here and you know I hate clothes." He says as he bends over to grab his shorts. He starts to swing them around like a lasso and, yes, he's still thrusting. Maybe he should have been a stripper versus a vet.

"Whatever. I'm going to get dressed." I roll my eyes and state to no one in particular.

"Where's all the beer, bro?" Jasper asks with his head stuck in my fridge.

"I've been at the station since Tuesday so I don't have much of anything here right now."

"Party foul, motherfucker!" Emmett hollers from across the room. "I've got a twelver at the house. I'll be back." He runs out the door, leaving it open, in his underwear. Stupid ass.

I head into my bedroom to change. I drop the towel and pull on a pair of boxer briefs, black with a gray band if you care to know, and stand in the middle of my closet, contemplating what to wear.

"Where are we going again Jizz?" I wonder. I know he told me but I don't remember.

"Dinner at El Zocalo at 6, and then we're going to hit Phase 54. Riley is working tonight so he's saving us a booth." He responds.

"You're the motherfucking pitcher for the D-backs, like you need Riley to hold you a table!" I say questioningly.

"You know I don't like to abuse that shit Wardo."

"I know man. I haven't seen Riley in an age, so that'll be cool."

I met Riley through Ben, a co-worker at the station. His wife, Angela, is Riley's sister and we met at one of the Phoenix Firefighter Association benefits about 4 years ago. We hit it off and quickly became good buddies. I invited him to one of our dinner dates and he fit in right away with Emmett and Jasper. Him and Emmett are like two peas in a pod, they both attract attention like crazy and they take full advantage of that. Riley is also a man whore, literally. He likes dick. He's a good looking dude, about 5' 10", dark hair with these crazy icy blue green grey eyes. If I swung that way I'd be all over that shit and Riley has never made it a secret that he would have no problems with me being all over that shit. We're a strange quad of guys but there is never a dull moment.

There was this one night when Riley, Emmett and I went to this bar for some beers and to listen to the live music and there was this chick, Jane or something like that, that was clinging to me like a damn spider monkey. She could not take a damn hint that I was NOT interested in her. Emmett and Riley found this to be the most hysterical shit ever. Riley eventually gave in to my pleading eyes and came to help a brother out. I may have reconsidered if I knew what he was about to do.

_FLASHBACK_

_"Alright, tramp stamp! Back the fuck off!" Riley said to maybe Jane._

_She attempted to give him what I assume was supposed to be a bitch brow but it really just made her look like Sloth from The Goonies, and said, "Who the fuck are you? Eddie and I are getting to know one another, so you back the fuck off!"_

_Oh shit! Riley hates mouthy bitches._

_"Let me tell you a little something about Edward, Jane is it?" Riley says as he squeezes his body into the non-existent space between me and maybe Jane. _

_"First, he absolutely HATES to be called Eddie. Second, he doesn't do vapid and clingy, which you very obviously are. Third, and the most important, he likes to scream MY name when he has his cock rammed deep into my ass." _

_At this, Riley turns around and smashes his lips to mine. I gasp in surprise and he takes full mother fucking advantage of that and shoves his tongue into my mouth._

_Jane screeches and shrieks and stomps off, mumbling stuff that sounded like, "no fair" and "that was hot". Riley's tongue is still in my mouth when I finally recover from the shock and I shove him away. His eyes are closed and he has the biggest fucking smile on his face._

_"Duuuuuuude! What in the mother fuck was that?" I ask as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand._

_"That was fucking hot, Eddie. That's what that was." Riley whispers._

_"Never again Ri. I fucking love you, but, no, just no!" I say as I shudder._

_Riley pouts at me, "Well she left didn't she? You should be fucking thanking me you ungrateful prick!" His cheeks are getting pink which is a tell tale sign that he is about to cry._

_I hate when Riley cries so I grab him and hug him tightly, just like he likes from me, "I'm sorry Twinkie! Thank you, but keep your tongue to your damn self from now on."_

_"Fine, but at least admit it was good!" he smiles and wags his perfectly groomed eyebrows at me._

_"Gag me, bro!" I reply and stick my finger down my throat, but it was, just a little._

_END FLASHBACK_

That was the first and last time Riley tried anything with me. It was also the first and last time that Emmett was stunned speechless.

I decide on a pair of dark worn jeans and a black v neck tee. I put a blue and black check button up on over the top and roll the sleeves up to my elbows. I then slip my feet into my beloved Nike's that have been neglected far too much as of late.

"I'm home bitches!" Emmett yells and slams the door.

I think his volume levels are loud, louder and loudest. Like a good wine, it gets better with age, well in Emmett's case, he gets louder with age. My song for Emmett is the one where that dude keeps screaming "louder" but it sounds like "louda" over and over.

I head back into the bathroom. I just shaved this morning so I have the perfect amount of stubble that the chicks seem to love. I put some lotion on my face, gotta protect my money maker, and put some deodorant on my pits. I spray one spritz of cologne and give my hair a death glare. There is no point really in even trying to tame it. I rub a little pomade in it to give it some sort of illusion of controlled chaos. Damn my dad for giving me his crazy and damn my mom for giving me her color. I look like that DC Comic superhero Firestorm. It's fitting I suppose given my occupation.

"Hey Edwina, you done in there yet? You're worse than a fucking girl!" Emmett barks out between his wall rattling guffaws.

I ignore him. After spending 20 plus years with him, it's easy to do. He's like a child, looking for a reaction. The less you react the more likely he is to stop. It doesn't actually happen very often but it has happened before. Usually when you don't really care. But if we are out in public, watch out. Causing a scene is his forte and he has mastered that skill. Like when we were 17 and he decided to play the penis game in the middle of Taco Bell. Or when we were all finally 21 and we went to a club for the first time and he requested that the DJ play Ice Ice Baby and he reenacted the music video all while singing the entire song. Or the time, just recently, when we were at the grocery store and he grabbed the latest edition of US Weekly with the most recent pictures of that vampire movie on the cover and squealed like a teenager girl. Yeah, you see where I'm going with this?

When I walk into the kitchen, he is drinking a beer and he is still in his underwear. Jasper is sitting on the counter, also drinking his beer. There are already two empty bottles in the sink.

"Thanks for waiting for me fuckers." I say as I crack my bottle open. Emmett immediately bumps the top of my bottle with the bottom of his causing it to foam over.

"Ohhh! Shotgun it mo fo!" he says.

"Shit!" I say as I bend my body into some sort of angle, acute maybe, so as not to dribble beer onto my shirt. I chug the beer down, not wanting to waste it. "You're such a douche Emmett" I splutter out.

"Now you're all caught up with us, Wardo. Let's make a toast, to birthdays and hopefully some birthday sex." Emmett grins and hands me a new beer.

"Cheers!" Jasper and I reply in unison.

I'm suddenly face first in Emmett's armpit as he squeezes me with one arm and Jasper with the other.

"I fucking love you guys, even though you're all old and shit now. Let's do a shot in commemoration of your old age!"

Emmett pulls 3 shot glasses out of the cupboard and the bottle of Patron out of the freezer. He expertly pours 3 shots without lifting the bottle. I fully expect him to start spinning bottles, a la Tom Cruise style in Cocktail, but he doesn't.

"Happy Birthday to my 2 best friends and may this be the best birthday so far."

We down the shots. It's smooth, icy cold deliciousness.

"Awww, that's so sweet Ham." Jasper says as he wipes fake tears from his eyes and I give him my best quiver lip.

"Fuck you guys! Let's roll out bitches! I'm ready to get my drunk on and find my dick a nice warm place to sleep tonight."

"You planning to put some clothes on before we head out?" Jasper asks.

"Who needs clothes when you look like this?" Emmett says as he does that bodybuilder pose where he's flexing all his muscles.

He turns and walks out the door. Jasper follows and I grab my wallet, keys and phone off the counter and shut, and lock, the door behind me. Time to get this night started.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Let the fun begin! **

**Any guesses on what song Edward is talking about for Emmett?**

**I've attempted to start a blog, it's got the songs and some pictures and, I don't know, stuff. Check it out:  
><strong>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com<strong>**

**I'm a crazy FF reader and I always like when the authors of the fics I'm reading share what they are reading, so I'm gonna follow suit there. **

**This week I'm gonna pimp Touchstone67's, Mergers and Acquisitions. This is where I got my inspiration for Riley, cause I lalalalove M&A Riley.**

_**When Edward pays for a night of harmless fun, he didn't expect to get the purchase of a lifetime. Will his nights in Seattle change his whole life in Chicago? Full length story for the second place winner in the Slash/Backslash Contest. Rated M, J/E **_

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
><strong>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>**


	4. Chapter 3 – Uptown baby, uptown

**A/N: Hello LFNers! Welcome to the next installment. Let's see what our 3 favorite boys are up to now, shall we? This is the last boy's only chapter. I promise! The ladies will finally be making an appearance next chapter.**

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to LovinRob and DannysMom for continuing to support my crazy and for fixing my boo-boo's. You 2 are the kick to my ass.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 3 – Uptown baby, uptown<p>

Still Not A Player

by Big Punisher featuring Joe

I love from butter pecan to blackberry molass'

I don't discriminate; I regulate every shade of the ass

Long as you show class, and pass my test

Fat ass and breasts, highly intelligent bachelorettes

That's the best, I won't settle for less

I wanna ghetto brunette, with unforgettable sex

I lay your head on my chest, come feel my heartbeat

We can park the Jeep, pump Mobb Deep, and just spark the leaf

* * *

><p>Friday 5-6pm<p>

Jasper and I follow Emmett, whose skipping and swinging his shorts back and forth, across the parking lot to their apartment. I need to drink significantly more if this is how he is going to act tonight. Jasper is a few steps in front of me and I just now notice what he is wearing. He has on a tight pair of grey on grey striped pants with a cream colored button down shirt tucked into them, it has a thicker than normal black pin stripe adorning it but only on the torso portion, not the sleeves which are rolled up to his elbows. He has the shirt covered with a sage green vest. The shirts top 3 buttons are undone and the vest is also not buttoned. He completes the ensemble with a pair of black snakeskin cowboy boots. I am tempted to ask him where his cowboy hat is, but I don't because he doesn't really look silly enough to warrant a tease. If anyone can pull an outfit like that off, it is most definitely Jasper.

He's always dressed a little, umm, differently than the rest of us. I always dress really casual; my mom tells me I look like a Hobo most times; with my favorite black beanie crooked on my head and my wrinkled shirts and unlaced shoes with no socks. I do clean up very well though, if I do say so myself and I look damn good in a suit. Ham is like a GQ runway model; with his cashmere v neck sweaters and wool trousers and fancy ankle boots.

After we make our way into their apartment and Emmett skips his mostly naked ass into the shower, Jasper plops down onto their oversized, overstuffed chenille couch and flips on Sports Center. It never fails. If there's a TV to watch, some sort of sport is what is on it. I grab us each another beer, pop the tops and take a seat next to him.

I can tell he has something on his mind because his tongue keeps flicking out and licking the corner of his mouth, it's a dead give away to his mounting anxiety. He's done it since we were old enough to even emote anxiety.

"How's Alizé?" I ask.

"Fine." He replies curtly. That's it, that's all he says. He'll usually ramble endlessly about Alice if prompted. Hmm... Something is most definitely up.

"What's going on Jizz? It's not like you to be so blasé about Alice. And you're giving the side of your mouth some pretty heavy cunnilingus." I say pointing to the corner of my own mouth with my pointer and middle fingers so he'll know to what I'm referring.

"Can you keep a secret?" Jasper asks me, looking much too nervous for my liking.

"From whom exactly?" I want to know.

"Mostly Ham, I guess." He says.

"Umm... I guess it depends on the severity of this said secret. You're kinda freaking me out a bit here Bro." I'm a little nervous; my brother is always the calm and collected one of the pair of us. I'm the spastic freak outer.

"I've already talked to mom and dad, and Esme and Carlisle too." This spastic freak outer is about to spastically freak out. I'm always the first to know anything in regards to Jasper and his life. My mind is running rampant with every negative possibility that is... well, possible.

"Dude, spit it the fuck out! I'm about to lose my shit here." I say as I take another swig of my beer.

Jasper sits up, straight as a motherfucking board, chugs the rest of his beer. He sets it down none too gently on their coffee table and says, "I'm going to ask Alice to marry me."

He visibly pales and then proceeds to bend over and sticks his head between his legs and takes several deep breaths, like he's going to faint or something.

"It's about time dude!" I laugh and if looks could kill, I'd be toast from the glare he shot at me.

"I'm nervous as fuck about this Wardo. What if she says no?" he bites out.

"Like that would EVER happen. You guys are the real deal and have been since we were 13." I respond.

"You're right. Of course you're right. She'll say yes. She's going to say yes." Jasper has a gigantic shit eating grin on his face now and fist pumps the air. Jesus, bipolar much?

"Why aren't we telling Ham again? You know he's always been supportive of your relationship with Alice." I ask, curious.

"I'm just afraid that since this is such a big deal, that final step ya know, that he'll finally realize what has been going on all this time and he'll kick my fucking ass for touching his baby sister." he worries.

"Jizz, you've been touching his baby sister for 17 years. I think he knows what's been happening, even if you and Alice tried denying it at every turn." I try to make him see reason.

"Don't you remember who caught you and Alizé in one of the stalls of the boy's locker room after the State Championship game in 10th grade?" Jasper swallows loudly at my reminder of Emmett finding him in a shower stall with Alice on her knees. Luckily all Emmett saw was Jasper's bare ass and not his dick shoved down his baby sister's throat.

"I need another beer, or 7. You?" he asks me.

I nod and swallow down the last of my current bottle. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I'm so incredibly jealous of my brother right now. He has what I'm not even remotely close to achieving, the prefect love with the perfect girl. I always figured I'd be like Al and Peg Bundy and be married with children by the time I hit 30. You know the house with the white picket fence, our 2.5 kids and a dog.

"I'm happy for you Jizz. I think you need to tell Ham though. I don't think he's going to react the way you think he's going to. If he didn't kick your ass for fucking Alizé's face when she was 15, then I doubt he'll kick your ass for wanting to marry her now that she's 28. He's going to be thrilled for you." I tell him with a hard slap to his shoulder.

He just nods and downs some more of his beer.

"You know how sensitive he is. He'll be devastated if you don't tell him about this. When are you going to ask her?" I question him.

"I'll be out in San Diego at the end of the week for a three game stretch against the Padres. I'm going to take her out on the bay while I'm there. I chartered a yacht and have a romantic dinner planned for just the two of us and then I'll get down on one knee under the stars and ask her to be my wife. FUCK! Am I really going to do this?" He's starting to freak out.

"Yes. Yes, you are and it's about goddamn time too. You have nothing to be worried about. You got this in the bag bro!" I pep talk him up like I'm a damn cheerleader.

"What would I do without you?" he asks, not joking around.

"Apparently not ask your non-girlfriend of a hundred and nine years to marry your dumb ass!" I state, trying to lighten his mood.

He flips me the bird and throws a toss pillow at me, hitting me straight in the face, because he's a pitcher with impeccable aim and I'm 4 beers and a shot of Patron in already.

"Fuck you Wardo." He huffs.

"No fucking around though dude, I'm really stoked for you! This is awesome news." I tell him.

"What's awesome news?" Ham splutters out, standing in nothing but another pair of teeny tiny black boxer briefs, with a tooth brush shoved in his mouth and toothpaste foam dripping down his chin. I swear the man doesn't own a pair of pants or a sense of modesty at the very least.

"Umm..." Jasper drops his head between his legs again and begins to take more deep breaths to keep from passing out.

Emmett is giving us the "I know your keeping something from me, Sebastian" stare. The Little Mermaid is his favorite movie by the way, he likes to pretend he's King Triton; he even has a gold plated trident hanging on the wall behind his bed. He used that for Halloween a couple of years ago. I just shrug in response, taking another drink of my beer. It's not my news to share.

Jasper suddenly bolts up off the couch, squares his shoulders in determination and faces Emmett.

"I'mgoingtoaskAlicetomarryme!" he blurts out so fast I can hardly understand what he was saying.

Emmett just stands there in his teeny tiny underwear and stares at Jasper. I can see Jasper's confidence starting to wane and his shoulders start to curl inward when suddenly Emmett reaches out and grabs him, pulling him into a huge bear hug.

"That's fucking more than awesome dude, that's fanfuckingtastic and what took you so damn long?" he asks around his toothbrush, still squeezing the shit out of Jasper.

"Can't... breathe... Ham..." Jasper grunts out.

"Sorry dude." Emmett says as he lets Jasper go. He turns on his heel and goes back into the bathroom to rinse the toothpaste out his mouth. He then moves into his bedroom singing _"I'm going to the chapel and I'm gonna get ma-aa-arried. Goin' to the chapel of love."_

"I told you bro. You should have known better than to think he would be pissed at you for this. Now just hope he can keep your secret until you can actually do the deed." I laugh. Emmett has no problem with letting people's secrets fall from his mouth and Alice has a way of pulling them out of people, so the combination of the two is not very conducive to this secret being kept.

"I know. I'm just nervous therefore I'm prone to overreaction. You know this. And I will kick HIS ass if he can't keep this a secret for even a fucking week." He says.

"You have the ring already?" I ask.

"Yup, wanna see it?" His excitement is palpable now, so even though I don't really want to see it because I'm a shitty emo bastard of a brother, I tell him otherwise.

"Absolutely Jizz."

"We need to call a cab." Emmett yells from his room. "Cause we are celebrating for reals tonight and no one will be in any state to drive after this night is through. Woot woot!"

"Already taken care of Ham. You've got 10 minutes to finish applying your makeup and curling your hair. The cabbie will be here in 15 and I told them we'd meet him by the clubhouse." Jasper responded as he walked into his room, I assume to get the ring.

"Tada!" Emmett says as he slides across the linoleum floor in the kitchen.

"What?" I ask.

"What do you think?" he asks with his arms held straight out from his sides and he looks down towards his feet.

"About what?" I ask again.

"My outfit you douche nozzle?" he asks exasperatedly.

I take a look at him. He's wearing pretty much all black for one. He's got on a black v-neck tee shirt that is skin tight and a pair of black trousers. He has a dark charcoal grey scarf loosely wrapped around his neck and his head is topped off with a black newsboy cap.

"You look like you're ready to hit the clubs with Riley, you ass pirate." I state humorously.

"You would know queer! You have made out with him before." Emmett retorts with a malicious grin on his face.

Jasper spits his beer out all over the counter in front of him now that he's back in the kitchen with us.

"I forgot all about that shit dude. I'm still mad as hell that I wasn't present to witness that shit. I still think you and Riley should reenact it for me bro."

"Fuck off and fuck no!" I say.

Emmett is giggling like a drunken teenage girl, "It was fucking priceless dude." he tells Jasper.

"Let's just fucking go, the cabbie should be here soon." I say as I walk out their front door.

"Come on Wardo. You have to admit that shit was a genius way to get that cling-on off your dick." Emmett calls out as I storm off.

I ignored the cackling hens behind me and just kept walking towards the clubhouse. Is it too late to back out of this sure to be a fucking disaster of epic proportions night I wonder to myself. The cab has already arrived and I slide into the front passenger seat yelling out "Shotgun bitches!" to the two slow pokes behind me.

"Damn!" Emmett whines.

"Where to boys?" the cabbie asks us after Jizz and Ham piled into the back seat.

"Uptown baby, uptown." Emmett sings. The cabbie just stares at him in the rearview mirror like he's crazy.

"Uptown where exactly, Big Pun?" the cabbie replies.

"Dude, you have to be the awesomest cabbie ever!" Emmett says with a look of awe on his face. Nobody ever gets his random lyric shout outs.

"We're going to El Zocalo in Chandler." Jasper tells the driver.

"Well I'll be damned. If it isn't Jasper Masen!" The cabbie is in full on super fan mode now. He starts listing off all of Jasper's stats like it's nobody business on the drive over. I don't know how Jizz deals with this shit all the time.

"You're the #1 ranked overall pitcher this year so far. Your ERA is only 1.86. You've only given up 97 hits and only 5 of those were home runs. You've had 120 strikeouts and even two shutout games. I've been following you since you pitched for the Sun Devils. I remember that game you played against the Trojans..." the cabbie was droning on.

I zoned him out. This happens often when we are out in public with Jasper; this guy is almost borderline stalker though. Jasper "uh huh's" and "yeah's" and nods at the stalker as needed. I don't know how he doesn't flip his lid more often but I guess he has probably gotten used to all of the attention by now, after almost 12 years in the lime light.

I'm trying not to turn into a brooding emo bitch, especially tonight of all nights, but all this earlier talk about marriage and blowjobs has me thinking about the skank bitch that shall not be named. I was so sure that she was the one. I was days away from visiting a jeweler before I figured out who she really was. As much as it hurts, and it does, even though she doesn't deserve to own my pain, I'm glad I was able to see what kind of person she was before I dropped 2 month's salary on an engagement ring for her ass.

Enough of this wallowing in self pity, think happy thoughts. I'm young and I'm beautiful, I'm single, I'm healthy, I'm happy, or at least happier than I was 6 weeks ago, I'm spending a night out with my twin brother and our best friend, I'm good. Yes, I'm good. This has become my mantra over the past month.

A ridiculously long 10 minutes later, and after hearing every single one of Jasper's stats since college, Jasper signs a dirty, rumpled napkin from Taco Bell for the cabbie and we make our way into the restaurant. I'm fucking starving and my mouth is watering just thinking about their Mole de Pollo and some more Patron.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There is some rhyme to my reason, so don't think I forgot anything, like oh say, the engagement ring. It will come up again in the next chapter.**

**We will also learn the details of what happened with the skank bitch that shall not be named. With that Lord Voldemort reference; who saw Harry Potter last weekend? I did! I did! What did you think?**

**I also mean no disrespect with my loose use of the terms "bipolar" and "queer". I'm just trying to be realistic and realistically these words get tossed around like any other word unfortunately. So again, I mean no harm and if I have offended anyone, please know that was never my intent.**

**I based Jizz's pitching stats off Jered Weaver, who pitches for the Anaheim Angels. I'm aware that they are now the Los Angeles Angels, but LA already had the Dodgers, so why did they need to change the Angels to LA also? I mean they still play in freaking Anaheim! DUMB! Ok, enough of that rant. Sorry. I don't even like baseball. LOL! I know shit about baseball really so if I massacred the verbiage during the stats discussion I apologize.**

**This weeks FF recommendation: TeamBella23's Aha Shake. She is AWESOME and you should read all her stuff.**

_**"Did you just get vagina slapped by a stripper Edward?" What happens when a man-eating hand model named Bella, and Edward, an asshole who's bored w/vagina meet in Las Vegas? Continuation based on entry for the Twi-Hards First o/s Contest - AH/OOC Lemons**_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:**

**lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**Love it or hate it, let me know please **

**and as always thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 4 – You Wasn't Saying That

**A/N: Happy Friday peeps! I'm taking time out of my busy Friday of lounging by the pool and downing frozen alcoholic beverages in LAS VEGAS to post this for you. So enjoy it!**

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to LovinRob and DannysMom for continuing to support my crazy and for fixing my boo-boo's. You 2 are the kick to my ass.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 4 – You wasn't saying that when you was sucking my dick<p>

Another  
>by Notorious B.I.G. featuring Lil' Kim<p>

Uh-huh, uhh, uhh  
>I know he don't treat you like I treat you<br>Time to explain the game you see through  
>Sex is lethal, I ain't gonna lie<br>Means to get ya back, I ain't gonna try  
>Like this y'all, my girl sucked another nigga dick y'all<p>

* * *

><p>Friday 6-7pm<p>

"Reservation for Cullen, for 3." Emmett tells the hostess.

We can't ever use Masen for anything, especially if Jasper with us. We frequent El Zocalo because the staff is exceptionally professional when Jasper is present. They don't fawn over him, just treat him like any other patron and they also keep the other diners in check should things get out of hand. It is also a quaint little place with only about 2 dozen tables or so. So between that and the fact that it's still early for dinner, the chances of him being recognized are less likely.

I've fallen into a pretty dismal mood in the past 15 minutes. I'm trying to hide it, but by the looks that Jasper keeps sending my way, I know I am failing miserably. I don't know why I even bother around him; he knows my moods almost better than I do. Emmett is also exceptionally observant this evening.

"We're going to need 3 shots of Patrón and 3 Modelo's please, with some limes on the side please." Emmett tells the hostess before we are even seated.

"Of course sir. Negro or Especial for the beers?" She asks.

"Especial please." He responds.

She hands us our menus even though we won't be needing them. We always order the same thing when we eat here.

"Edward, don't do this to yourself man. Not tonight." Jasper pleads with me, like I can help it.

"I know dude. No offense but all this talk about love and marriage and shit has me thinking about things I really don't want to be thinking about. I don't know why I let her get to me so much." I say as I scrub my hands over my face.

"I can't say I know how you're feeling because I don't. I've never had to deal with something like this. All I can say is that Tanya is not the one for you. There is someone out there that won't do this shit to you Edward. I know it must hurt because you've been all sorts of fucked up over it for the past 6 weeks, but look at this way…" Jasper was saying before Emmett interrupts.

"Fuck her bro. She's a deceitful skank and you should be happy that you got rid of her ass before you took it a step further. It would have been so much worse if you were already married. And if kids were involved? Forget about it. Think positive bro; don't let her fuck with you anymore." Emmett is not one to pussy foot around a situation and is always trying to break the tension.

That's what I love about Emmett. He seems like such a goofy dumb ass that never has anything worthwhile to say, but he always makes the most sense. He just seems to see things from a different angle as everybody else, or at least differently than me with my "focus on all things negative and whine like a little bitch about it" attitude.

"I know and you're right, but it kinda fucks with my ego a bit, ya know? Like I wasn't enough for her and it doesn't help that it was with that fat fuck doctor that she works for."

_FLASHBACK_

_Friday, May 17, 2pm_

_I was coming off a 36 hour shift, my normal 24 plus 12 of overtime, and had big plans for Tanya and I this weekend. I rarely get 2 days off together and even rarer is a Friday Saturday combo._

_I had plans to surprise Tanya with a quick little weekend getaway to the Westin La Paloma in Tucson. I had made the reservations pretty last minute and I decided to not tell her until I stopped by her place on Friday afternoon. _

_She was an ultrasound tech at some doctor's office over by Chandler Regional Hospital and she always gets off by noon on Fridays and has Saturday and Sunday off. So this plan was foolproof._

_I pull into her apartment complex and notice a strange car in her carport. I assume it's one of her girlfriends that I haven't met. I have only met two of her friends, Kate and Irina. I just shrug my shoulders and head to her apartment._

_When I get to her front door I can see that it's not fully shut, only open just a crack. I can see her feet and realize she's on her knees. I start to panic, thinking something is wrong; maybe she's hurt, so I push the door open without knocking. _

_The sight before me knocks the breath out of me. I have to grab onto the doorframe to keep from collapsing. And I squeeze my eyes closed and shake my head thinking this can't be right. It's not what it looks like, except it is._

_Tanya is on her knees, she has no shirt on and her breasts are spilling over her bra as the lacey cups are pulled down. Her hair is twisted up and wrapped tightly around some dudes wrist. He's slamming his cock into her mouth at a brutal pace and she is moaning like a whore in heat._

_I can't stop staring, it's like a car accident, and you just can't stop looking. She has her eyes closed and the dudes back is to me so neither of them have noticed me yet. I want to vomit._

_"What the fuck T?" I screeched and slam the side of my fist into the door._

_This startled the dude and he shoves his cock a little too far into Tanya's throat and she gags, badly. Serves her right. The guy, who I recognize as the doctor from her office now that I can see his face, just tucks himself back into his pants and zips up since he hadn't even bothered to pull his pants all the way down in the first place._

_He just kind of stands there with his hands shoved into his pockets. I lunge forward at him just to freak him out and his foot gets caught in Tanya's shirt and he falls backwards. I laugh at him._

_No one has said shit yet so I take the initiative. "You fat motherfucker get the fuck out before I break both your fucking legs." I scream at Dr. what's his name, Dr. Cartagena or something like that. Damn Italian greaser. He's a big guy, were talking width here, not height, but I've got about 4 inches on him and he seems to be pretty intimidated by me as I tower over him while he's laying on the floor._

_"Ok, man. I'm sorry. I didn't know you guys were still dating. She..." he points to Tanya, who has at least tucked herself back into her bra and has her arms wrapped around her chest. "She told me you guys broke up." _

_"I don't give a shit, get the fuck out!" I scream._

_He stumbles to his feet and gives me a wide berth as he heads towards the door. I just stand there, fists clenched at my sides, and stare at Tanya. She's not looking at me. She's staring at the floor and she's sobbing, like she's the goddamn victim here._

_"Was it worth it Tanya?" I ask her in an eerily calm voice. She doesn't respond, just shakes her._

_"Answer me!" I yell._

_"No!" she yells back, still looking down._

_"Why did you do it then? Was I not enough for you?" My voice cracks on the last word and that makes me really fucking mad that I'm about to cry over this cheating whore. She just shrugs her shoulders._

_"How long?" I ask her._

_"How long what?" she asks._

_"Don't play fucking stupid with me Tanya! How fucking long?" I'm losing my shit now._

_"Umm, 3 weeks I guess." she answers._

_"Fuck!" I punch the door again and she finally looks up at me. She looks like shit, mascara running down her face in black streaks, puffy eyes, and splotchy cheeks. Swollen lips. I gag._

_"I'm sorry Wardo! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! Please. It won't happen again. I love you baby. I don't know what happened, it just did. Please!" she sobs out._

_"Fuck off Tanya. We're done!" I know I have a few things in her room, so I stomp my way in there and grab my 3 GFD tee shirts, a pair of sleep pants, 2 pairs of boxers and a pair of flip flops. She can keep anything else because I need to get the fuck out of here._

_She grabs my leg when I walk by her. "Please Edward. Don't leave me! I fucked up, I know I fucked up, but I love you. We can get past this. I'd forgive you!" she wails._

_I take her hand off my leg and pull her to her feet. She immediately flings her arms around my neck obviously reading that maneuver wrong and thinking I'm about to actually forgive her. I push her off of me, probably a little harder than I should have. _

_"You'd forgive me?" I question her._

_"Of course I would baby." she responds._

_"Well that's the difference between you and me Tanya. I would NEVER give you a reason to need to forgive me in the first place." I tell her. "Leave me the fuck alone, don't call, and don't come over, just don't! We're done." I say before turning back to the door and walk through it._

_END FLASHBACK_

"Fuck this shit! I'm not thinking about this bullshit tonight or ever again if I can help it. Fuck her." I notice that the server has brought our drinks. I slam the shot back and chase it with half my beer.

"Just let it go, dude. It'll be better for you in the long run." Jasper tells me with a squeeze to my shoulder.

"Yeah dude. In the words of the late great Biggie Smalls: What do ya do when yo' bitch is untrue? You cut that hooker off and find someone new I need another bitch (another bitch), in my life." Emmett says as he raises his shot to Jasper, who then raises his in turn and they shoot them down.

"To bitches!" I say and laugh at Jasper's tequila face. He doesn't take shots very well.

The waiter comes to take our order and I can tell by how stiff he is standing that he recognizes Jasper and is dying to say something, but he remains professional.

"What are we having tonight gentlemen?"

"Mole de Pollo with extra tortillas and a side of sour cream." I tell him.

Emmett orders the Shrimp Chile Relleno with no beans and extra rice and Jasper gets the Stuffed Beef Enchiladas with extra cheese. Same ole same ole. We also each order another beer.

We just chat about nothing of importance until our food arrives. Then we inhale because we are dudes and don't need to take dainty bites, wiping our faces between those bites while making idle chit chat. After we finish licking our plates clean, we finish our beers and Emmett pays the tab, we usually split the bill but he insisted since it is our birthday.

We are getting ready to leave when we hear a squeal that we'd recognize anywhere, "JIZZY POO!" _Alice._ Jasper's head whips around to the front door and when he realizes that she's really there he bolts out of his chair over to her. He picks her up and swings her around almost taking out the hostess mid swing.

"What are you doing here Zé? I thought I wouldn't see you until Thursday?" he asks as he finally sets her back down on her feet.

"Surprise!" she says, laying a big fat kiss on his lips.

"Best surprise ever." he responds without removing his lips from hers.

"Did you know they were coming?" I ask Emmett.

"Nope." he replies.

My eyes are then drawn behind the kissing duo and what I see leaves me breathless. I've never seen such beauty before. Petite, athletic frame, chocolate covered coffee bean eyes, long wavy mahogany hair that I want to wrap around my fists while her plump, pink lips glide up and… I think my mouth is hanging open because Emmett laughs and taps me on the chin.

"Trying to catch flies there Wardo?" he laughs again.

"Who is that?" I ask.

"Which one, the Blondie or the brunette?" he asks.

"Brunette." I say.

"That is Bella Swan. I've met her once, she's cool as fuck. I think Blondie must be Rosalie Hale, one of my sister's friends that models for her line. I've never met her though. Damn, she's fucking smokin' hot."

They follow Jasper to our table. I stand up and give Alice a hug.

"Happy Birthday Edwardo!" she says and squeezes me back.

"Thanks Alize. This is a nice surprise." I tell her.

"We thought it would be fun and I haven't seen you or Ham since Spring Training, so here we are." She plunks herself down on Emmett's lap and kisses his cheek.

"Hey Big Ham." She greets him. He responds by blowing a raspberry on her bare shoulder. She giggles.

"It's good to see you baby girl." he says as he squeezes Alice around her waist.

She jumps up quickly and walks around the table to where Blondie and Brunette are standing. They have their arms linked, with Brunettes fingers wrapped around Blondie's bicep. Blondie's ring and pinky fingers are tucked into Brunettes front pocket. And because I'm a pervert I start to imagine the two of them in several rather compromising situations. Emmett snaps me out of my daze by kicking me under the table. He clears his throat and stares at me with wide eyes like I've lost my mind. I realize I was staring at those fingers in that pocket, so basically I was staring at Brunette's crotch.

"Ladies, this is Edward, Jizzies twin, and this is my big brother, Emmett. Boys, these are my two best girls, Bella Swan and Rosalie Hale." Alice says as she introduces us all.

"Nice to meet you Edward." Brunette, err, Bella says as she reaches her hand out to me.

"Likewise." I say.

I take her small hand in my much larger one and I'm done. I feel like I've been rubbed over, inside and out, with peppermint oil, or something like that. My whole body is tingling from her touch and I feel like I'm vibrating from her proximity. I've known her for all of 36 seconds and my body already wants to stake a claim on her, in her, and so forth. And at this moment, it is my life's mission to get to know this girl and make her mine.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeah for the girls finally showing up!**

**Umm, hmm, what to recommend this week? *taps chin* **  
><strong>How about Dear Mr. Masen by jendonna;<strong>  
><em><strong>"Error 434: Reprimanding an executive." Life changing or just stupid? Dear Mr. Masen: A story of unauthorized Internet usage, culinary delights and the goings-on at Cullen, Inc. AH, ExB.<strong>_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:**  
><strong>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com<strong>  
><strong>Since I'm out of town there won't be any updates for chapter 4 until Monday at the earliest.<strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please **  
><strong>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	6. Chapter 5 – I'm Feelin' Hella Cool

**A/N: Soooooooo, the girlies finally show up. Let the UST commence! :) **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to my ladies, LovinRob and DannysMom for doing what you do. Mwah!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 5 – Got my Ray Bans on and I'm feelin' hella cool tonight<p>

Cheers  
>by Rhianna<p>

Cheers to the freakin' weekend  
>I drink to that, yeah-e-yeah<br>Oh, let the Jameson sink in  
>I drink to that, yeah-e-yeah<br>Don't let the bastards get you down  
>Turn it around with another round<br>There's a party at the bar  
>Everybody putcha glasses up<p>

* * *

><p>Friday 7-8pm<p>

I've lost sight of everything around me. I can only focus on the goddess standing in front on me. I'm lost in her eyes and now that she is closer I can see little flecks of gold in her eyes, making them sparkle. I notice that she has a smattering freckles running across her nose and the tops of her cheeks. I watch, mesmerized, as she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and bites down on it. Her front two teeth are a little big, but they fit her perfectly. I'm still holding Bella's hand but she doesn't seem to mind. She seems as unable as me to look away. She smiles all shy like and squeezes my fingers a little before she finally pulls away, moving towards Emmett.

"Good to see you again Ham." she says to him.

"You too B." he responds.

I'm still distracted by her and I slowly rake my eyes down her body. She has on a pink corset covered with black lace. I let my eyes linger on the tops of her tits that are pushed up over the top of the corset. I unconsciously lick my lips and my mouth starts to water. I want to sink my teeth into them. Her long lean legs are sticking out of a pair of black shorts that are so short that I can see the bottom curve of her ass cheeks. I notice that she has a scar in the shape of a crescent moon just below her right knee and make a mental note to ask her about that later. The final piece of her outfit that makes me grin like a loon is her shoes. She's not wearing some ridiculous pair of high heels like most chicks would when going out to a club. Nope, she's wearing a pair of pink and black checkered slip on Vans. I think I'm in love with this girl already.

"Edward?" I snap my head up and away from the Vans. Rosalie is looking at me with a smirk on her face. She is classically beautiful with her blonde hair and blue eyes. But she's got nothing on my little Bee over there with her mahogany hair and coffee bean eyes. _My_ little Bee? Where did that come from? And I've already got a nick name picked out for her. I'm so screwed.

"Please do not tell me you approve of Bella's horrendous choice of foot wear?" she asks me. Bella huffs and crosses her arms over her chest. I just smirk right back at Rosalie.

"Oh I definitely approve, most definitely." I say as I smile over at Bella and wink. She nods her head at me once and then looks at Rosalie and shrugs.

"So there Rose." she replies and based on her tone I'm almost certain she's going to stick her tongue out at her. She doesn't, much to my chagrin.

"Don't encourage her Edward. It's nice to meet you by the way." Rosalie responds.

Rosalie is wearing practically nothing. It's a peach colored frothy strapless deal. There are little rosettes on the bust and the little sheer layers barely cover her ass. She has on these brown high heels that have a braid around the sole and there is a little hole in the toe of the shoe, I think it's called a peep toe. They must be 5 inches high which puts her at about 6 feet tall.

"You as well." I tell her. "Let's get some drinks over here, shall we?"

I motion to our waiter and ask him if it's okay if we stick around for a bit longer since we had already paid our previous bill. He says it shouldn't be an issue and we place an order for more drinks. I order a round of Modelo's for the guys and wait for the girls to order. They all look at each other; start to giggle, and then they all say, in perfect harmony, "Margaritas, frozen with extra salt, a double shot of tequila and straws." Then they giggle some more.

I don't understand girls. There has to be more to that story for it to cause such a fit of giggles. Jasper looks confused and he must see the same looks of confusion on mine and Ham's faces as well, so he asks, "What is so funny Zé?"

"Remember my sophomore year at UCSD when I went to Cabo for spring break?" she asks Jasper. Bella and Rosalie giggle.

"Yessss." Jasper draws the word out.

"So anyway, the girls and I are at Cabo Wabo for dinner and we each order a margarita. I'd never really drank a fancy margarita from a restaurant before. At that time I had only ever had those margaritas in a bucket ya know. So Lush #1…" she points to Rosalie, "orders hers frozen with extra salt." Then she points to Bella, "And Lush #2 orders hers with an extra shot of tequila and a straw." They all start giggling again.

Bella takes over, "So Alice decides that she wants hers with extra salt, a double shot of tequila and a straw also and just to make it easy on the poor guy waiting on us, we all just get the same thing; frozen, extra salt, double shot of tequila and a straw." She puts her hand over her mouth to hold in her giggles. She's so pretty.

"When the margarita's come, they are in the biggest damn margarita glasses we have ever seen." Rosalie says as she is holding her hands up in the shape of a circle about 12 inches across.

"That was the best margarita that I have ever had and we all managed to slurp down every drop. Needless to say we were all pretty wasted after that. We stumbled across the street to The Giggling Marlin. They have these really elaborate skits and dance numbers that they do nightly and they rely heavily on the crowd's participation." Alice is telling us.

"There is this one routine they do where the guy and girl end up grabbing each other's tits and dicks and shit. It looks so sexy and seductive when the dancers do it. So Rosalie pretty much force's her way out to the dance floor to attempt this dance."

"What was his name again? Gabriel? Man, he was freaking hot!" Rosalie muses.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was his name. Anyway, so Rose being Rose nails this number and the crowd goes wild when Gabriel or whatever his name was, grabbed her tits at the end. She thought it only fair that she get a taste as well so she reached back and grabbed his dick. It was so freaking funny."

"Bella, do you remember when that other bartender, the chubby one, came over and straddled your lap?" Rosalie asks.

"Oh god, yes! My ass hurt for days after that." Bella says.

"Do we want to know why your ass hurt?" I asked her.

"Well there is a guy that walks around with a holster around his waist that houses shot glasses on one side and bottle of tequila on the other. He also wears a huge sombrero. I mean HUGE. So he comes over to me and straddles my lap. He puts the sombrero on my head and pours me a shot. He tilts my head back and pours the shot down my throat. Then he grabs onto my face and starts to shake my head back and forth and around in circles. Between our combined weight and the extra motion of him shaking my head around, the chair broke and I fell straight down onto the concrete floor. So yeah, my ass hurt for days." Bella tells us.

"Man! Girls have all the fun." Emmett pouts and then looks to Rosalie.

"So Rosie, what do you do for Alice?"

"It's Rosalie, not Rosie. And I am Alice's business accountant but I also model for her when she needs it." she says curtly causing Emmett to just grin in response.

"And you B? Still doing all of Alizé's marketing?" he asks of Bella.

"She is amazing at what she does Ham. I wouldn't do half the business I do if it weren't for her." Alice answers for her.

"I guess that answers that question for you Emmett." Bella states. "You know your sister; she keeps me on my toes. I think we are such a great team because we know each other so well. I know what kind of marketing she expects and how she likes it to be presented so there is rarely any arguing between us. But we are both perfectionists so it can get a bit out of hand sometimes."

"A bit?" Rosalie scoffs. "I have to leave the office more times than not just to get away from these two bitties. I end up doing most of my work at the little café right around the corner from the shop. I am on a first name basis with all the employee's there."

"I'm still trying to convince Bella to model for me, but she's not budging. She's got the worst stubborn streak ever, maybe even worse than you Wardo." Alice says and gives me a mischievous grin.

Bella just shakes her head, snorts and rolls her eyes. _Love._ Damn, I'm pathetic.

"So are we going to Phase 54 tonight or what?" Alice asks. "And is Riley working? I miss that boy."

"Yes and yes." Jasper answers her with a goofy grin on his face.

Alice is sitting on Jizz's lap and she has on a grey satin jumper thing, romper maybe? Or is that what you call them for babies. I don't know. It's a one piece thing with shorts. Her short little legs are adorned with these massive coral colored wedge heels on her feet. I think they might weigh more than her. Her dark hair is longer than I've ever seen it, hitting just at her shoulders.

"Did you go to UCSD with Alice, Bella?" I ask. I'm curious to know everything about this girl.

"I did. We were in the same dorm freshman and sophomore years. We decided to get our own place our junior year, with Rosalie. She was always in a different dorm than us. I've known Lita since we were in middle school." she tells me.

"Lita?" I wonder.

"Oh, Rosalie. Alizé gave her name the same Spanish treatment as you I think, Edwardo." I grin widely at her usage of my nickname. "She called her Rosalita for months and I shortened it to Lita and really I only did it because it annoyed her." she answers my inquiry.

Our drinks arrive and we decide on a toast.

"Cheers to the freakin weekend!" I say.

"And to surprise visitors." Jasper adds, giving Alice a not so subtle squeeze around her middle.

"I'll drink to that. Got my Ray Bans on and I'm feeling hella cool tonight." Emmett replies as he pulls his aviator sunglasses down onto his face, getting an eye roll in response from Rosalie. Those two will be entertaining to watch later.

"Cheers!" All three girls say in unison.

"So we're gonna need a bigger vehicle for this evening." I tell them.

"Already taken care of Wardo. I knew you guys would have taken a cab over here and then another to the club, so I arranged for a limo to drive us for the night. He's waiting outside for us whenever we're ready." Alice says, being the party planner extraordinaire, as usual.

We just continue to get to know a bit more about each other while we finish our drinks. My eyes are still drawn to Bella more often than not. I just can't help myself, she's fucking gorgeous. She keeps catching me staring at her and I should be embarrassed, but I'm not and she probably thinks I'm a super creep or something. She keeps giving me these cute little smiles though before she turns back to the conversation, so maybe I'm not creeping her out.

I curse the creator of the damn straw because I'm hard as a rock watching her suck up that goddamn margarita. Who the hell drinks a margarita with a straw anyway? The way her lips cover the end of the straw and how her cheeks hollow out when she sucks the liquid up into her mouth. I imagine her lips around my cock and her cheeks hollowing out as she pulls her mouth up my length, umm yeah. Fuck! That visual is so not helping with the raging boner that is trying to bust out of my jeans right now. I'm such a fucking perv. I clear my throat and force my eyes away from her and try to rejoin the conversation that's been going on around me.

I notice that Alice is staring at me with a knowing grin on her face. Shit! She just gives her perfectly arched brows a little wiggle and I know that she knows that I'm totally smitten with Bella Swan. I just smile and roll my eyes at her. There is no point in denying it and I've never been good with subtlety.

After we all finish our drinks, we pay the bill and head out the door. Alice is piggybacking on Jasper's back, leading the way to the limo. Rosalie and Bella are right behind them, holding hands no less, and I'm still hard. An unusually quiet Emmett and I walk behind them.

"You ok Ham? You're being pretty quiet." I ask.

"Dude I'm so fucked. I think I'm in love with that girl." he says.

"Rosalie?" I ask and he just nods his head.

"I know how you feel my friend. I know how you feel." I tell him as I sling my arm around his shoulders.

"How is it that we have not all met before? I mean Alice has been friends with them for quite some time now." I ask Emmett.

He then proceeds to tell me that the one and only time that Bella came to Phoenix with Alice, was when I was out of town at a training seminar. Go figure. Alice usually comes to Phoenix by herself and we don't visit her much in San Diego. There have been a couple of quick trips during one holiday or another but I guess they must have been spending time with their own families. It amazes me that through extenuating circumstances our paths have just never crossed until now. If I think about it, it really kind of pisses me off that I could have met this beautiful girl a long time ago and never would have experienced that skank. Just my motherfucking luck!

"I think those two are gonna be serious trouble for you and I tonight." Emmett nods in their direction.

"No doubt, dude." I respond.

As if they could hear what we were thinking, they both turned their heads in toward each other, all slow motion movie effects like, and I swear to fuck they were about to kiss. Emmett's breathe catches in his throat. The girls practically nuzzle each other's noses and then keep turning their heads so that they are looking back at us.

Emmett and I must look like perverted lovesick fools. They just start to giggle and turn back forward. I swear they start to exaggerate the sway in their hips also. Damn vixens.

"Trouble with a capital T dude. Oh God, Riley is going to have a field day with them. I think he's working the go-go bar tonight too." I say to Emmett. The go-go bar is one of the bars in the club where the bartenders dance on the bar and on the tables and it can get pretty damn rowdy as the evening wears on.

"Fuck me." Emmett groans out.

I'm actually getting excited about this night now. Tanya who? Let the fun begin. We all pile into the waiting black limo. The driver is a really short Asian dude with a gigantic belly. I just want to rub it and make a wish. Bella does. If this girl isn't motherfucking perfect for me than I'm going home with Riley tonight. I can't help but stare at her ass as she bends over to get into the limo. I just want to squeeze it. Emmett pushes his way in right behind her and snags the seat next to Rosalie before Bella can comprehend what just happened. I love you Ham because now Bella is forced to sit next to me. I get a whiff of coconut and honey as she sits down next to me and I can't help but lean into her and smell her hair. She turns her head a little to the side and smirks at me.

"Did you just smell my hair Edward?"

I just shrug in response to her and give her my signature lopsided grin.

"Well?" She asks.

"Well what?" Apparently I'm still stupid over this girl because I have no idea what she is asking me.

"How do I smell?"

I'm not sure where my confidence is coming from, but I reach up and grab a fistful of her hair off her back, running my fingers over her bare shoulders in the process and shove my nose into it.

"Fucking delicious." I whisper into her ear.

She shivers. Score!

"Good to know." She says to me as she places her warm little hand on my knee and slowly runs it up the inside of my thigh and then pulls it off just before she hits my dick. I have to bite back the groan that is threatening to escape from my chest. She smiles, all innocent, like she has no idea what she is doing to me. Damn little minx.

Jasper and Alice are in their own little bubble as usual, so we just ignore them, as usual. Emmett puts his arm over Rosalie's shoulder and she leans out and away from him until he puts it back in his own lap. As soon as she leans back though, he puts it back up. Rosalie just glares at him and sighs at his cheesy grin. She's already giving into his advances. I wish I had Emmett sized balls. Wait, that just sounds weird. The drive to Phase 54 only takes about 10 minutes. I'm the first to get out and I reach my hand back in the door to help Bella out. She takes my hand I yank her into my arms. I hear her gasp and I smile. I stick my nose into the crook of her neck and take another exaggerated sniff. Then I take a long slow lick from her collarbone up to her ear. She inhales sharply. I whisper, "Show me what you got, Honey Bee" into her ear and then let her go and turn to walk into the club like nothing happened. I swear I hear a little growl come from somewhere behind me and can't help the huge grin that breaks out on my face. Maybe I do have Emmett sized balls after all.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Corsets and Vans? Hot right?**

**FF Recommendation this week is Ride by Kris Salvador. Don't let the vague summary fool you. This story is AMAZING and the lemons are… DAYUM! Just sayin.**

_**Bella wanted to fulfill a fantasy - to be groped inside a crowded train. She gets her wish and more, when a sex-starved ex-convict decides she's fair game. ALL HUMAN. Mature but with plot.**_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com<strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	7. Chapter 6  Shake That!

**A/N: Happy Friday ladies! (and gents? Don't think there are any but I'll cover my bases.) I'm a slacker and didn't respond to any of the handful of reviews I received. I did read them all and am thrilled that you all are enjoying this little ditty. Keep em coming and I'll get better at it with this update.**

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to my ladies, LovinRob and DannysMom for doing what you do. Mwah!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 6 – Shake That!<p>

Party Rock Anthem  
>by LMFAO<p>

Yoooo!  
>I'm runnin through these hoes like Drano<br>I got that devilish flow rock and roll no halo  
>We party rock yea! That's the crew that I'm reppin<br>On the rise to the top no led in our zeppelin  
>Hey!<p>

* * *

><p>Friday 8-9pm<p>

I was grinning like a fool as I walked up to the doors. Tyler and Felix are bouncing tonight. Tyler is cool in a nerdy kind of way. He plays lots of Halo and works out, and that's pretty much it. He is 21 and still lives at home. Bouncing here on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights and going to ASU Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. He's studying to be a video game programmer. Go figure. He himself isn't very intimidating once you get to know him, but his sheer size in and of itself is a great deterrent for stupid motherfuckers to keep themselves in check.

Felix on the other hand is scary as fuck. He is most definitely in the right field, security, because he doesn't even need to speak to get his point across. Just one look and you'll crumble. He also works here Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, but his day job is collecting money for an armored car service. That job always freaks me out because it would be so easy for some brazen idiot to try to rob you while traveling between getting the money and returning to the truck. It's happened before, here in Ahwatukee no less, and they never caught the guy. He was on a motherfucking bike! How can half of the Phoenix PD not catch a guy on a damn bike? But if you're smart you'd steer clear of Felix, especially when he has a gun strapped to his hip. Not that he needs it because he'll fuck some shit up with his bare hands.

"Hey Edward!" Tyler squeaks out, trying entirely too hard to look cool. He really wants to be my friend.

"What's up Ty?" I respond. He really is a cool guy, just a bit socially awkward.

"Not much yet. It's still early though. Is Emmett with you tonight? What about Jasp...?" he trails off and I notice him looking behind me with a glazed look on his face.

I turn to see what he's looking at and it's none other than the brunette Vixen and her blonde devilish sidekick. They are sashaying towards us, with Emmett trailing right up on Rosalie's heels. She keeps rolling her eyes at him, but she's giggling. Oh boy, Emmett is in trouble. Subtlety was never his strong suit.

Bella has her chocolate covered coffee bean eyes trained on me with a wicked smirk on her face. She walks right by me and her hand not so subtly grazes the general area of my dick. I was already semi hard before but that little pinky skim has me at full mast now. Devil woman! I repress the groan that is trying to escape from my chest. She winks at me and turns her attention to Tyler, who might as well be drooling. She runs her hand up his arm and splays her fingers over his shoulder. I have the sudden urge to growl and pounce on the motherfucker. What the fuck?

"You gonna let me and my girl here in sweets?" she asks Tyler all sugary sweet with a nod in Rosalie's direction.

He swallows hard and disengages the velvet rope from the stanchion and nods dumbly. She reaches up on her tip toes and plants a kiss on his cheek, "Thanks doll face. Maybe I can get a dance later?"

"Ma-maybe." Tyler stutters out. I want to laugh at the guy.

"Thanks sugar." Rosalie says and places another kiss on his cheek. I think the poor dude is going to pass out.

"Breathe my man!" Emmett says to Tyler with a hearty laugh and a not so light punch to the shoulder, then he looks to Felix who still hasn't said anything but has watched the whole thing unfold with an amused look on his face. "Felix, my brotha from another motha! How ya been?"

Felix just sort of grunts and fist bumps Emmett. He's an odd dude.

"You know those girls Edward?" Tyler asks me, still dazed and confused.

"Yup, they are an evil duo of femme fatales, sent here to tempt us with their feminine wiles and sexual allure. Beware of their trickery my friend." I say with a smile. I just pat him on the shoulder and head inside. I need a fucking drink. I don't know where Bella and Rosalie went but I head straight upstairs to find Riley. He's behind the bar; no shirt, black jeans, mirrored aviator glasses on his face and a Panama hat on his head. I just shake my head and smile as I walk up to him.

"Hey stud." I say in my best velvet voice. He shrieks and smoothly leaps over the damn bar like it's nothing and jumps into my arms. He plants a wet kiss on my cheek.

"Eddie baby! I've missed you." he says as he runs his hand through my hair and pinches my cheek that he just kissed. I roll my eyes at his dramatics because we just saw each other on Tuesday morning when we went to play golf at the Foothills where I laid a beat down on him. I pry him off me and wipe my cheek off and try to tame my hair down that he just fucked up.

"I missed you too Ri!" and then, just because I can, I slap his ass, hard. He likes it. I then hear a throat clearing behind me.

"Something you wanna tell me Eddie?" Bella asks with one eyebrow raised in question when I turn around to face the two of them. Rosalie is trying desperately not to laugh behind her. I just shake my head at her antics.

"Riley, this is Bella and Rosalie. They are friends of Alizé's and the 3 of them surprised us for mine and Jasper's birthday. Ladies, this is Riley." I introduce them all. I smirk as I see Riley eyeing Bella up and down and sideways. He knows already that I'm quite taken with her and he's trying to see if she is legit. He thinks I require his tramp stamp of approval but I don't care what he thinks about this one, she is fucking legit in my book. Bella stares right back and in the process she crosses her arms over her chest, which only causes her breasts to push up and out more than they already were. I can't help but to stare. I swear I hear her growl out "mine". Riley scoffs and then pouts, murmuring "not fair" under his breath. I just laugh at him.

"I suppose she'll do Eddie." he bites my shoulder as he walks by to head back behind the bar. Bella gives me the eyebrow again and I just shrug.

"RRRRIIIIIIILLLLLLLEEYYYYY!" Alice screams and I swear some of the glasses cracked at the sheer volume of her voice.

"AAAAALLLLIIIIZZZZÉ!" Riley screams and they run to each other doing what can only be described as 'jumpy hugs'.

I see the other bartender, Mike I think, shaking his head at his flamboyant co-worker. Then his eyes lock on Bella whose now standing in front of him at the bar. He gives her a disgusting smile and says, "What's your poison beautiful?"

Lame.

"Bomb pop, frozen, please." she replies. What the fuck is a bomb pop? Isn't that one of those red, white and blue Popsicles that is kind of shaped like a rocket?

Rose orders a Watermelon Mojito and I just get a plain ole manly beer. Chicks and their fancy drinks. Whatever, but fuck me, this girl and her god damn straws are going to fucking kill me.

Bella is sucking a bluish purple frozen concoction out of a hurricane glass and I'm instantly hard again. She knows what she's fucking doing too because she's giving me these "I wish this was your cock I was sucking on instead" eyes. Assssss yooooooou wiiiiiiiish. I freaking love The Princess Bride!

"Wanna taste Wardo?" she purrs. Hell yes, but not of the damn fruity beverage in front of her.

"Sure" is what I end up saying instead. Bella walks up and stands right in front of me, really fucking close. I can feel her tits rub on my stomach every time she takes a breath, which seems pretty heavy for some reason.

I smirk and take a drink, yes, through the straw and, HOLY SHIT, that's fucking good! My eyes must widen in surprise because Bella gets an excited look in her eyes and grabs onto my forearm with her free hand. Tingles.

"Good, right?" she asks me and squeezes my arm a little. Tingly tingles.

"Good is an understatement woman, more like fucking awesome!" I say as I lean in to take another pull of the fruity deliciousness. I wrap my left arm around Bella's waist in the process, pulling her closer, flush with my body. We both freeze when I do this and just stare at each other for a minute. Damn, I really want to kiss her. Bella laughs at me then.

"What?" I ask, wondering why she's laughing at me.

"You said that out loud lover boy." she tells me. SHIT! Maybe I should lay off the booze for a bit if I've already lost my verbal filter. I lean down towards Bella and her eyes darken and her breath hitches. I lay my lopsided grin on her before I move off to the right a bit and take a big pull off her Bomb Pop. Then I kiss the corner of her mouth before I pull away. She huffs petulantly and storms off towards Rosalie and Emmett.

"It's good to see you smile again Bro, like really smile." Jasper tells me when he joins me at the bar. "Yo Mikey, beer me dude." he then says to the other bartender whose name apparently is Mike.

"Right away, Jasper." Mike says, star struck. Figures.

"So I'm kinda annoyed with you Jizz." I state.

"Me? Why?" he wonders.

"Cause I should have met Bella waaaaaay before tonight, dude. That girl is my dream come to life, perfect for me in every way I've seen so far. I could have perhaps saved myself some heartache from HER." I frown at the thought of Tanya. I refuse to let her taint my night, perhaps the only one, with Bella. I'd like to think this won't be the last time I'll see her, in fact I'm certain it won't be.

"I agree on all counts Wardo. Alice has even said on several occasions that you two are perfect for each other. It just wasn't time yet bro." Jasper tells me.

I turn around and lean back on the bar and stare out into the club. I see Bella and Alice sitting in the booth talking to Riley, laughing at who knows what. Emmett and Rosalie are standing close to each other, chest to chest, with their faces tilted towards one another intimately carrying on a quiet conversation between just them. Rosalie is fingering Emmett's scarf and Emmett's twirling a lock of her blonde hair around his fingers. I feel like I'm intruding so I look back to Bella and see that she's watching me now. A beautiful smile lights up her face and my heart skips a beat. At this moment I know that I want this girl in every way imaginable. I know that our circle has been completed with the addition of Bella and Rosalie in our lives.

I push off the bar towards her at the same time that she starts walking towards me. We meet on the edge of the currently empty dance floor and just look at each other. She really is otherworldly, like a mythical creature. I reach my right hand up and sweep some of her hair behind her ear. She shivers at my touch and her eyes close and she lets out a small, breathy moan that goes straight to my dick, which has not been completely flaccid since she has entered my life less than two short hours ago.

"You're fucking beautiful Honey Bee." I whisper to her and she fucking blushes. How can this girl blatantly brush her fingers against my cock with no qualms but I compliment her beauty and she turns into a self-conscious teenager? I don't get it; don't get girls at all really.

"Thanks" she says in response and shyly looks down. I tilt her chin up so she's looking in my eyes again.

"It's true and I want to spend every second of this time that you're here with me learning everything there is to know about you and I want you to know me as well. Is that ok with you?" I ask her.

"Please yes, yes." she says as she starts to rise up on her toes closer to my face. I grab her hip with my left hand and start leaning down to meet her. Our lips are a mere inch or two away when the music changes and she pulls away suddenly, with wide eyes and a child like grin on her face.

_Party rock is in the house tonight_

_Everybody just have a good time_

_And we gonna make you lose your mind_

_Everybody just have a good time_

"This is my fucking jam!" simultaneously comes out her and Riley's mouths. Then they both scream, "Ahhhh! Jinx!" Riley has made his way over to us by this point and they each reach for each other's arm, "Pinch, poke, you owe me a coke." Then they both bend over in a fit of laughter and I just watch on, amused at the pair of them. On the other hand, being cockblocked by LMFAO is not at all amusing. Damn it!

"She's a keeper Wardo." he says to me with a wink. Oh I know Riley, I most definitely know. The question is; does she think so as well?

_Party rock is in the house tonight_

_Everybody just have a good time_

_And we gonna make you lose your mind_

_We just wanna see ya shake that_

"Let's dance sugar lips." Riley says linking his arm through Bella's, pulling her away from me. They make their way to the middle of the dance floor and start to move with the beat.

_One more shot for us_

_Another round_

_Please fill up my cup_

_Don't mess around_

_We just wanna see_

_You shake it now_

_Now you wanna be_

_You're naked now_

Riley is standing behind Bella and has his hands up over her shoulders. Bella has her hands resting on his thighs and they're moving their hips in time with the music and the fact that Bella's pert little ass is rubbing up on Riley's junk is a little disheartening. Good thing I love him or I'd be channeling my inner cave man complete with grunting and an upside down shoulder ride back to my man cave. The fact that he is not even remotely interested in what Bella is barely hiding in her little shorts doesn't hurt his case either.

_Get up, get down, put your hands up to the sound _

_Get up, get down, put your hands up to the sound _

_Get up, get down, put your hands up to the sound _

_Put your hands up to the sound, put your hands up to the sound_

She's got some moves, that's for damn sure, not that I'm at all surprised. The chick oozes sex and sensuality. No wonder the music speaks to her body. I watch, mesmerized, as the muscles in her legs flex and release, flex and release, as she moves up and down in synchronization with Riley who is a phenomenal dancer. Her hair is soft and shiny and floats in rhythm with her body around her face. Her skin has a luminescent glow to it, whether it's the lighting or just her, I'm not sure, but I can't pull my eyes away from her. They look fucking good moving together and honestly they're making me a little hot, and hard, although that shouldn't be a surprise, and a little jealous. I'm not a bad dancer but in comparison to Riley, I'm shit.

_Put your hands up_

_Put your hands up_

_Put your hands up_

_Shake that! _

_Everyday I'm shufflin'_

That song fades out and when I hear the new song fade in, I know that I will be the only one dancing with her to this song. I think she knows it too based on the look she's giving me as I stalk towards her.

I grab her around her waist and pull her hips towards me, sliding one of my legs between her legs before leaning in to whisper, "My turn, HB." Fuck she smells good, totally edible.

She gasps and shivers and slides her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck and moans out a breathy, sexy as fuck, "Please" into my neck.

Jesus!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sooooo, umm, yeah… Is it hot in here?**

**This week's recommendation: ****Trippin, Slippin, Stumbletumblin by YellowGlue. AMAZING! That is really all I can say! It was just completed and it is unbelievably fantastic.**

_**a tale of pirouettes and prayers. Marseilles and a mosaic-heart. whispers and white dahlias. leg warmers and LSD. Turtle and tutus. SixtyFour and "Since I've been Loving You". lies and lilacs. truth and the trouble with it. blood… and bearing a grudge.**_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com<strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	8. Chapter 7 – Baby now get up on it

**A/N: Well, I kinda left you hanging last week, so I'll let you get on with it. See you down below! **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to LovinRob and DannysMom for supporting my crazy ass. It means a whole heap to me.**

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><p>Chapter 7 – Baby now get up on it<p>

Right There  
>by Nicole Scherzinger ft. 50 Cent<p>

Me like the way that you hold my body  
>Me like the way that you touch my body<br>Me like the way that you kiss my yeah yeah yeah yeah me like it  
>Me like the way that he put it on me<br>Me like the way that he push up on me  
>Me like the way that he goin' down down down down down<br>No you never gonna let no girl take him from me  
>Never gonna let no girl steal him form me<br>Never gonna let the girl keep the close now I tell'em eh eh don't too close now

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><p>Friday 9-10pm<p>

She starts to slowly grind on my thigh. I slide my hands up her back and curl my fingers over her bare shoulders. Skin. I curve my back forward so that I can bury my face in her neck. I start to move with her. She moves her elbows up onto my shoulders and wraps her arms around my head, cradling my face into her neck.

_I'm complex, difficult to understand  
>I don't know if me or just the makeup of a man<br>I wanna it in the morning  
>Right early I want it<br>I rise as the sunrise  
>Baby now get up on it<br>Give to me good  
>Shawty work it like it should<br>You follow instructions  
>Then I follow instructions<br>The ultimate seduction  
>More kissing and touching<br>Feels super natural  
>First chance I'm at you<em>

As we sway to the seductive beat I move my arms down and wrap them around her middle. She's so tiny that my hands come all the way back around and I place them right under her breasts. I hear a small whimper escape her mouth. I can't help myself so I bite down lightly on her collarbone because it's just so damn sexy.

_Come here baby and be my baby  
>And be my baby oh oh oh<br>Come here baby put your hands on my body  
>Hands on my body oh oh oh<br>Right there keep it right there  
>I love when you put it right there oh oh oh<br>Yeah yeah oh oh oh yeah_

She moves her hands to my forearms and leans her head back to give me better access and I take full advantage and run my nose from one side to the other, rubbing my stubbled chin across the tops of her tits. She growls and brings herself back up. She has the sexiest look on her flushed face and she shoves her hands into my back pockets and pulls my hips closer to her. I'm sure she can feel the steel rod that is hiding underneath my jeans. I moan and she starts to grind harder onto my thigh and rubs her own thigh against my crotch.

_I like the way that you talk dirty  
>Don't wash your mouth I like it dirty<br>You like to please yeah  
>I like that yeah yeah yeah yeah me like it<br>I like the way that you keep me coming  
>That yeah you so good you had me running<br>Me like the way that he goin' down down down down down  
>No I ain't never gonna let no girl take him from me<br>Never gonna let no girl steal him from me  
>Never gonna let the girl keep the close now I tell'em eh eh don't too close now<em>

I quickly turn her around and grip her around her ribs. She moves her hands up behind her and wraps them around my neck. She arches her back which causes her ass to come in direct contact with my dick. I think I might die.

"You're so fucking sexy HB! You're killing me." I whisper into her ear before sucking the lobe into my mouth.

She grinds her ass back into me harder. I thrust forward and she moans. I place open mouthed kisses from her ear, down her jaw, down to her neck where I suck lightly on the muscle between her neck and shoulder. She tastes so fucking good. We continue to sway, and grind, and thrust. I'm aware that there are other people surrounding us on the dance floor, but as far as I'm concerned, we are the only 2 people in the room, shit, in the world right now.

"Fuck!" She says. "Touch me Wardo. Please."

She doesn't have to tell me twice. I take my left hand and I cross it up onto her right shoulder, right in between her tits. I lightly, gently run the tips of my fingers along the top of her corset and therefore the tops of her breasts too. She shivers and I swear I'm about to cream in my pants. I move my right hand down onto her thigh and start running my fingers along the hem of her shorts. Her skin is so fucking soft and silky. I dip my pointer and middle fingers under her shorts and run it along the smooth skin just where her thigh meets her center. God damn! Her breathing has picked up, as has mine.

_I like it when you freaky  
>I'm freaky<br>I'll explore your body completely  
>Til you feel like you need me<br>Chest to chest  
>I reckon I get to kiss you in neck<br>Come correct to make a sweat  
>It's making us wet<br>Say my name, say my name  
>Positions we change<br>I ain't joking girl, I'm stroking  
>I ain't playing no games<br>Jackpot, backshot  
>Still roughly taken<br>My pleasure is pleasing you  
>You should feel the same too<em>

I need to see her so I turn her back to me again. Her eyes are almost black with lust. I'm sure mine are the same. I reach down and hitch her leg up onto my hip and give a small thrust forward. I can't help the groan that comes out of my mouth. Bella runs her hands from my hips around to my ass, where she gives my cheeks a little squeeze, back around and up my stomach. She circles my nipples with her thumbs and gasps.

"What's this? You have your nipples pierced Edward?" she asks me in amazement.

"Yeah, does that bother you?" I hope not.

"Fuck me, hell no! I want to touch them." She smirks when I groan and my eyes roll back into my head. She moves her hands back down and starts to fiddle with the hem of my black tee shirt. She looks at me in question and I just nod. She moves her hands up underneath my tee shirt and across my stomach, tracing her fingers into each indentation of my abdominal muscles.

"Fuck!" we both say at the same time and then smile. She finally reaches my nipples and gives each barbell a small tug. I got them mostly for looks but they do have a certain pleasurable aspect to them as well.

"What color are they?" she asks.

"Blue." I tell her.

"Damn!" she whispers and then bites down on her bottom lip. She spins and tugs each of the barbells once more before dragging her fingers back down my stomach. She sticks her fingers into the waist of my jeans and the knuckle of her middle finger is brushing the head of my cock. I make a sound that resembles a drowning cat or something which just causes her to smirk at me.

_Do we know how to work it?  
>You got that got that<br>Put it on you work it  
>You got that got that<br>Do you feel good for your let down good for you yeah  
>He got that got that<br>All my girls if you mad put it down let me hear you say yeah  
>All my girls if you mad put it down let me hear you say yeah<br>Do we work that like you like that?  
>When you got up on that you do you right back?<br>Say yeah all my girls say yeah_

"Still want to kiss me Wardo?" she asks with her perfectly shaped eyebrow arched in question and a sexy smirk on her face that I just want suck off.

"Hell yes!" I say.

"Well lay it on me then big boy." she says as she pulls me closer to her by the waistband of my jeans. I reach my hand up underneath her hair and grip her neck. I bring my other hand up and cup her rosy hued cheek. I slowly lower my face towards hers and I rub my nose on hers and kiss it softly when I get close enough. I tilt to the left and place a small kiss on the corner of her lips, and then I tilt to the right and place a small kiss on that side as well. Then I go in for the kill. When my lips finally meet hers for the first time, I swear I hear angels singing and feel the earth tilt on its axis. Everything that's wrong in the world suddenly feels right. Her lips are soft and supple and they taste like banana cream pie.

I moan when I feel her warm little tongue trace my bottom lip. She whimpers when I open up for her and it's like something snaps inside her. Her hands fly to my head and she shoves her small fingers into my hair and tries to pull me impossibly closer to her. I grip her waist tightly and wrap my arms around her, lifting her up off the floor. We each tilt our heads to deepen the kiss and our tongues start a rhythmical dance with each other. She tastes like raspberries and I love me some raspberries so I suck her tongue into my mouth to get a better taste. I drop her back down to the floor and move both of my hands up to her face. I think we both realize at the same time that we are in the middle of a pretty crowded dance floor and should probably cool it. We both pull back a little bit, but I can't stop yet so I continue to lay small little chaste kisses all over her face, mostly concentrating on her lips. Bella starts to giggle so I look up at her and she has a radiant smile on her face and I'm sure I have one to match.

"Wow!" is the genius response that I have to that kiss.

"Yeah!" is hers. Not much better.

"Get a fucking room you pervs!" Riley says as he walks up with another Bomb Pop for Bella. I flip him off and give him my best pout since he did not bring me a drink.

"What about me Ri? Am I no longer your favorite?" I say, blinking my eyes rapidly and pushing my bottom lip out.

He stands behind Bella, effectively trapping her in between the two of us. She wraps her arms around my waist, fisting my shirt in the back and buries her face in the crook of my neck. Riley brings his right hand up on my shoulder and runs his finger over the shell of my ear, back and forth.

"You'll always be my favorite E-Baby. You know that. But Bellsy here ordered a drink before you guys started fucking on the dance floor. So, tell me what you want, besides into Bella's underoo's, and I'll get it for you. Kay, hot stuff?" Riley says.

Bella giggles and Riley laughs.

"Behave or I'll be forced to separate you two." I say sternly with a pointed look at Riley and a playful pinch to Bella's thigh.

"I'd like one of these." I say as I sip from the straw sticking out of Bella's drink.

"Sir, yes sir!" Riley says with a salute.

We decide to go check in with the others at our table. We get intercepted halfway there by Alice and Rosalie who whine and complain until Bella agrees to join them for a trip to the bathroom. I still, after 30 years, don't understand why girls insist on going to the bathroom in groups.

"Damn Wardo! I thought I was gonna get a free show there for a minute." Emmett booms out as I join them in the booth.

I just shrug and smile, because I can't seem to wipe that shit off my face.

"So…" Jasper asks while rolling his hands in a silent request for more information.

"So, we each agreed to get to know each other tonight and see where things go from there." I tell them.

"Well things seem to be going well so far." Emmett wags his eyebrows at me. He's such a tool sometimes.

"Well as much as I can't wait to fuck her, and I will fuck her, it's more than that with her. I want to know everything about her and I want to just hold her and talk to her and just be with her. Ya know?" I muse.

Emmett gags and calls me a pussy and Jasper tells me he understands 100%, as he felt the same way about Alice the day they met. So is he saying that Bella is my penguin, my soul mate? I've only known this girl for a few hours but I feel like something clicked into place inside of me when I first saw her. I don't want to use that clichéd saying of it being love at first sight, because I can't say that I love her, yet, but there is something there, something stronger than anything I've ever felt before, between us and I'll be damned if anything tries to come between us exploring that something.

It won't be without complications seeing as how I'm settled here in Phoenix and she's got her life back in San Diego. It's a pretty short trip back and forth, but my schedule is not consistent so set travel plans won't work for me. I don't really know what Bella's schedule is like; I would assume it's a Monday through Friday type gig. Just one of many things for us to figure out.

"What about you and Rosalie? You seemed pretty comfortable earlier. She hasn't slapped you yet, so that's a good sign." I chuckle. Emmett gets slapped more than any guy I've ever known.

"She gets me man. She likes my brash sense of humor because she is the same way. She's tall and blond and fucking beautiful and she doesn't take any of my shit. I'm in love dudes!" he confesses to Jasper and I. Whoa! I never thought I'd see the day where man whore Emmett Cullen said the "L" word towards something other than his dick.

"Say whaaaaaat? Emmett Cullen, in love? Has hell frozen over? Are pigs flying out of my ass? And who were you calling a pussy, pussy?" I laugh at him and give him a sideways fist punch to his shoulder.

"Fuck you Eddie!" he says; this being his typical response whenever I manage to hit a nerve.

"Drinks boys." Riley says as he comes over to the table carrying all of our drinks.

"What the fuck is that dude?" Emmett asks incredulously when Riley puts my drink in front of me.

"Don't diss the Bomb Pop, Ham. Try it, you'll be surprised. I guarantee it." Bella tells him as she plops herself onto the bench right next to me and immediately places her hand on my thigh. "Right, Wardo?"

"Definitely!" I say as I nuzzle her nose with an Eskimo kiss.

"Well I'm not drinking some girly, fruity shit. Not gonna happen bro. I'll stick to Modelo and Patron, thanks." Emmett huffs.

"Your loss." I say as I suck on the end of my straw.

"I've got something new for you to try tonight, and you're ALL going to try it." Riley says, looking at Emmett.

"What is it?" Alice asks excitedly. She always likes to experiment with weird drink combinations. Lush.

Riley returns with a tray covered with 6 lowball glasses filled with what appears to be orange juice and 6 shot glasses filled with a clear liquid.

"Presenting Riley's Dreamsicle." he says as he sets a glass in front of each of us.

"What's in it?" Jasper asks. We've already established that he doesn't do well with shots, even though this really isn't a shot per se.

"Don't worry Jizzper! You'll be fine with it. I'll tell you what it is after you try it and tell me what you think." Riley says.

I don't hesitate and neither does Bella, Rosalie or Alice. We all grab our glasses and take a big sip. Dang that's good. It was cold, smooth and creamy, a perfect blend of sweet and sour. Jasper and Emmett who were hesitant at first seem a bit more at ease after all of our moans of appreciation. Emmett is staring at Rosalie, whose eyes are closed and she's licking her lips and moaning, with a glazed over look on his face. He snatches up his glass and takes a tiny sip. His eyes widen in surprise.

"Holy shit Ri! This is fucking good!" he says in awe.

"I know!" Riley says with a smug grin and then he laughs, "Good Jizzy?"

We all look over at Jasper who has the glass tilted straight up over his mouth with his tongue in the glass trying to lap up every last drop.

"Dude, this is amazing! What the hell is in it?"

"It's orange-strawberry-pineapple juice with a shot each of Whipped Cream and Vanilla vodka." Riley tells us. "Now take the shot too." he says while handing each of us a shot glass.

We toast Riley and his excellent bartending skills and shoot it back, even Jasper. It's super sweet and makes me gag a little bit.

"Ughhh, gross! What was that?" I splutter out.

"Whipped cream flavored vodka E-Baby. Too sweet for my sweet?" he laughs at my pucker face. I can't help it that shit is way too sweet. I groan as Jasper orders us another round, shots included. Fuck it! I'll only be thirty once right? I swing my arm around Bella and kiss her shoulder with a smile. I raise the new shot glass to her and say "To us and the beginning of something great!" She responds in kind and we toss the shots back. Yuck!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Phew! I need to go write a lemon or find my husband or something.**

**This week's recommendation: ****Fan Fiction, Sex Gods and Single Girls**** by bannerday. If you a need a good laugh, this fic is for you. It's hilarious and wonderful.**

_**Teacher/aspiring writer Bella finds fiction-inspiration in her playboy neighbor. The story develops as does a correspondence with a mysterious reader/reviewer. Co-worker or playboy? Art imitates life imitates art. Fic within a fic Canon/Laughs/Lemons/Love**_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com<strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	9. CHAPTER 8 – You the Illest

**A/N: So, I did end up writing some citrusy deliciousness after chapter 7, but unfortunately you have to wait until next week for it. Heeheehee! A quick formatting note, centered lyrics are being played by the DJ whereas left justified lyrics are being sung. Just so ya know! **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Mah ladies, LovinRob and DannysMom, I bow down to you. T, I hope you're feeling better after your day and C, please stay safe through the hurricane.**

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><p>CHAPTER 8 – You the Illest<p>

Got 2 Luv Ya

by Sean Paul featuring Alexis Jordan

Girl an mi alone and give you security  
>And mi nuh just start fi mind yuh<br>Mi alone a give you the remedy fi set you free  
>Sum bwoy just waan fi hide you<br>That's why mi you a lettin'  
>Girl I'm not pettin'<br>Ready fi make you sweatin'  
>Thist dem man checkin'<br>Lex them man settin'  
>Builf and hard steppin'<br>Mi cyaan loose I am bettin'

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><p>Friday 10-11pm<p>

We all decide to take a breather after drinking Riley's Dreamsicles. The goal was to get fucked up, but it's only 10 and we're all pretty tipsy already. Riley told us that they were starting Karaoke in a little bit when he brought the last round of drinks. The girls got really excited about that and ran straight up to the DJ booth to pick out their songs.

I look over to Emmett and smirk.

"We gonna do this tonight Ham?" I ask him.

"Fuck yeah Wardo!" he replies, putting his fist out for me to bump, which I do.

"You guys are crazy." Jasper says as he shakes his head at us.

"Oh come on Jizz! You know that we rock that shit. You can't deny it." I say to him smugly.

Ham and I have a karaoke routine that is equal parts fuck awesome and extremely embarrassing. We don't always do it, but tonight is a special occasion. We have two ladies with us that haven't ever been a witness to that spectacle. We usually wait until the end before we do it. It's like a show closer.

The girls finally make their way back to us, and they all have matching smirks on their faces.

"You gonna sing for me Rosalita?" Emmett asks with a huge grin on his face.

"I am. I have the perfect song for you. I think you'll like it." she says as she sits back down next to Emmett and slings her arm over his massive shoulders.

"What's that look for HB?" I ask Bella.

"You'll see Wardo." she says with a wink as she pulls me to the dance floor.

"Dance with me?" she asks shyly.

"Of course." I respond, like she even needs to ask. I can deny her nothing. I bring both my arms around her waist. I'm quickly becoming addicted to touching her. She puts her hands on my biceps and starts to move with the music. She's straddling my thigh and starts to move us in a circle while leaning back so it looks like I'm dipping her. She brings herself back and leans forward against me, causing me to lean back but instead of it looking like she's dipping me she leans forward and keeps her chest on mine.

_I, I'll do anything I could for ya,_

_Boy you're my only_

_I, I'm gonna flip these beats on ya_

_You don't even know me _

_Cause I am, I...I don't even wanna fight, fight, fight _

_Said I am, I...I ain't even gonna fight it_

_Got 2 Luv U_

_Got 2 Luv U_

_Got 2 Luv U_

_Got 2 Luv U_

I feel like I'm doing the Rumba or something equally as sensual. I wonder where she learned how to dance like this.

"Where did you learn how to dance Honey Bee?" I ask her.

"I was extremely clumsy as a kid so my mom signed me up for dance classes to try to help me with my coordination. It didn't really work; I can still trip over air. But I found that I loved to dance anyway so I continued with the classes, but just for fun." she tells me while still swaying to the beat.

_You were the sun,_

_Hard steppin' girl, we're not stoppin'_

_Got me spendin', and you've all been_

_But know it around_

_Good lovin', Give yuh good lovin'_

_Boy you got me, can't ignore it..._

_It's me and you forever girl!_

_I, I'll do anything I could for ya,_

_Boy you're my only_

_I, I'm gonna flip these beats on ya_

_You don't even know me_

_Cause I am, I…I don't even wanna fight, fight, fight_

_Said I am, I…I ain't even gonna fight it_

"Well you're good and I like it." I say as I dip her down again. We continue to dance and I secretly feel like the words to this song are speaking directly to me, about Bella and me. I don't really know her yet, there's so much to learn still, but I feel like I "got 2 luv her". Of course I'm keeping this information to myself at this point so as not to come off as some fucking creepy stalker or something.

_Got 2 Luv U_

_Got 2 Luv U_

_Got 2 Luv U_

_Got 2 Luv U_

As the song starts to fade out, and as we stare into each other's eyes, I think that maybe, just maybe, she might be feeling the same way as me. The quickness and intensity of our connection is a little unnerving, but I've never felt so sure, so absolutely positive, of anything in my entire life. She feels right, in every way possible, physically, mentally, emotionally.

"What are you thinking about that has your face all scrunched up E-baby?" she asks.

I can't help but smile at her thieving Riley's nickname for me.

"You and this." I say as I lean down to kiss her. And like the first time, the world tilts and all is right. She tastes so fucking good and I can't help but run my tongue over her lips.

"Gross Wardo!" she giggles out.

"I'm sorry. You taste delicious, like banana cream pie, and after those nasty fucking shots we just took, its whipped cream covered banana cream pie." I tell her leaning down and kissing her again.

"It's my lip gloss. It's banana flavored." she says against my lips.

I tilt my head to deepen the kiss. She lets out a cock teasing moan and slips her tongue into my mouth. I run my hands down her back and grab a handful of each of her ass cheeks. We continue to make out like a couple of lovesick teenagers until we hear the DJ announce that Karaoke is about to start and calls out for Rosalie to come to the stage.

"Oooh, come on! You don't want to miss this." she tells me as she pulls me towards the small stage, which is nothing more than a small square pedestal that usually gets used for dancing, by the DJ booth.

Rosalie gingerly climbs onto the pedestal so as not to flash the crowd her lady bits and grabs the mic from the DJ.

"Hey!" Rosalie says giving a little wave before continuing, "So I've met this guy tonight and when I found out that they were doing karaoke, I knew I had to sing this song to him. This one's for you Hammy." she winks as a poppy beat starts to play.

"_Call you up when I know he's at home,_

_I jump out of my skin when he picks up the phone _

_Why can't I tell if he's looking at me?_

_Should I give him a smile?_

_Should I get up and leave?_

_I know it's strange, I don't know what I'm thinking _

_But is it wrong if I see him this weekend _

_I really hope I can get him alone _

_I just don't, don't want her to know"_

Rosalie sings looking at Emmett, then winking at Alice before she sings the next verse.

"_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah_

_My best friend's brother is the one for me _

_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah _

_A punk rock drummer and he's 6 foot 3 _

_I don't want to, but I want to, _

_Cause I just can't get him out of my mind and _

_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah _

_My best friend's brother is the one for me _

_BFB, BFB _

_My best friend's brother, my best friend's brother"_

I start to crack up because this song is fucking perfect for him. Well Ham's not a punk rock drummer, but he is 6' 3" and he is her best friend's brother. Bella and Alice are doing what appears to be a little choreographed number out in front of the pedestal and Rosalie is mimicking them up on the pedestal. They're doing air guitar and spinning in circles. Then when Rosalie sings the chorus they fist bump the air and swing their arms up in the air, shaking their heads side to side.

"_I kinda think that I might be his type_

_Because if you're not around, he's not actin' too shy _

_Sometimes I feel like he might make a move Is this all in my head?_

_I don't know what to do_

_I know it's strange, I don't know what he's thinking _

_But is it wrong if I see him this weekend _

_I really hope I can get him alone _

_I just don't, don't want her to know"_

Rosalie bends down and sings right to Alice.

"_Cause he's such a dream_

_Yeah_

_And you know what I mean_

_If you weren't related"_

Alice just pretends to gag and shakes her head. Then both her and Bella help Rosalie off the pedestal. She then makes her way over to Emmett all while singing and dancing.

"_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah_

_My best friend's brother is the one for me _

_Yeah Yeah Yeeeeaaah _

_A punk rock drummer and he's 6 foot 3 _

_I don't want to, but I want to _

_Cause I just can't get him out of my mind and _

_Yeah yeah Yeeeeaaah _

_My best friend's brother is the one for me _

_BFB, BFB _

_My best friend's brother, my best friend's brother _

_BFB, BFB _

_My best friend's brother, my best friend's brother"_

She plants a big kiss on Emmett's lips after she's done singing. The crowd is whooping and hollering at the pair of them as they shamelessly make out in front of all of us. I can't contain my laughter and as Bella makes her way back over to me, I grab her and bury my face in her neck.

"That was fucking awesome!" I say into her neck.

"I know, it's the perfect song for them and we choreographed it in like 5 minutes." she tells me as she runs her fingers through my hair. I could pass out immediately if she doesn't stop that. I groan and kiss her neck before I pull away.

"What are you singing to me HB?" I ask her.

"If I tell you then I'll have to kill you and that would not bode well for me as I've become rather attached to you." she tells me with a breathtaking smile curving her lips up.

"Fine, fine, I see how it is. Just so you know, I won't be divulging my karaoke secrets either." I dip down and take her top lip into my mouth and suck gently. I feel like I'm an infant who needs his binky and that binky is Bella's top lip. I could suck on that thing for days.

"Welcome Alice to the stage please!" the DJ says as Jasper boosts his girl onto the pedestal.

"This song is for my Jizzy Poo whose turning 30. Happy Birthday baby. Me love you long time!" she says and blows a kiss to Jasper out in the crowd. He pretends to catch it and sticks it in his shirt on his bare chest where his heart is. They are so cheesy sometimes. I look back to Alice with wide eyes when the song starts and she starts to sing, if you can call that singing.

"_Shawty, I'ma only tell you this once, you the illest _

_And for your lovin' I'ma Die Hard like Bruce Willis _

_You got spark, you, you got spunk _

_You, you got something all the girls want _

_You're like a candy store and I'm a toddler_

_You got me wantin' more and ma-ma-more of _

_Your love, your love, your love, your love _

_Your love, your love, your love, your love _

_Your love, your love, your love, your love _

_Your love, your love, your love, your love"_

I laugh, but she's really good. Alice doesn't usually sing karaoke. Now I'll never understand why she doesn't. I would if I could sing like her. Jasper is just grinning from ear to ear and bobbing his head to the music. He must've known that she could sing because he doesn't look surprised.

"Did you know that your sister could motherfucking RAP, Ham?" I lean over to ask Emmett.

"I knew she could sing pretty well, but I didn't know she could do this." he replies, looking as stunned as I do. Bella and Rosalie just watch with smug grins on their faces.

"_Yo, he the type to pop tags and be cockin' the brim _

_Might breeze through The Ave, might stop at the gym _

_And he keep a do rag, keep his wave on swim _

_Wa-waves on swim so they hate on him _

_Anyway I think I met him sometime before _

_In a different life or where I record _

_I mean he was Adam, I think I was Eve _

_But my vision ends with the apple on the tree S on my chest _

_'Cause I'm ready to save him_

_'Cause I'm the one like I'm Tracy McGrady _

_And I think I love him like Eminem is calling Shady _

_When he call me mama, lil' mama, I call him baby"_

The crowd is really getting into it, many of the girls are singing along, Bella and Rosalie included. They are dancing with each other at this point and I can tell that the trouble with these two is about to begin. I look over to Emmett and see that he is also watching them with wide eyes. Shit.

"_He the type to keep a couple hundred grand in a rubber band _

_Just left Money Gram in the Lemon Lam _

_Hot damn, make me scream like summer jam _

_I mean that nigga must be from the motherland _

_Anyway, I think I met him in the sky _

_When I was a geisha, he was a samurai _

_Somehow I understood him when he spoke Thai _

_Never spoke lies and he never broke fly S on my chest, let me get my cape on _

_With a certificate that I change my name on N-n-n-name on _

_With a certificate that I change my name on"_

Bella has her hands on Rosalie's thighs, dangerously close to slipping underneath her dress. Rosalie's got her forearms resting on Bella's shoulder and they just kind of rock to the beat and sing. Rosalie then suddenly pulls her shoes off and tosses them at Emmett. He's in such a daze watching the girls that he doesn't even attempt to catch the shoes. They just hit him square in the chest and fall to the floor in front of him. Rosalie and Bella simultaneously throw their heads back in laughter.

Now that they are closer to the same height they start to really get down and dirty. They each stick a knee between the others thighs and wrap their arms around each other tightly. There is not a stitch of space between them from chest to hips. Bella's arms are around Rosalie's waist and Rosalie has her arms wrapped up Bella's back and around her shoulders.

They are still singing along with Alice, but their faces are so close together that their foreheads are touching. My mouth starts to water and I feel like my body is pitching to the left a bit. I have to shake my head to clear the fuzz and am able to right myself before I crash into Emmett and take us both down, all domino like.

"_Shawty, I'ma only tell you this once, you the illest _

_And for your lovin' I'ma Die Hard like Bruce Willis _

_You got spark, you, you got spunk _

_You, you got something all the girls want _

_You're like a candy store and I'm a toddler _

_You got me wantin' more and ma-ma-more of _

_Your love, your love, your love, your love _

_Your love, your love, your love, your love _

_Your love, your love, your love, your love _

_Your love, your love, your love, your love _

_Find me in the dark I'll be in the stars _

_Find me in your heart I'm in need of your love"_

The song fades out, Alice stops singing, the crowd goes wild, but all I can focus on are the two girls in front of me. They have stopped swaying but are still holding onto one another. Bella has a grip on Rosalie's hips and Rosalie has her hands wrapped around Bella's neck. I see Rosalie give a slight nod and Bella tilts her face up and their lips touch. Suddenly I'm on the ground with a heavy weight on top of me.

"What the fuck Ham?" I yell all while trying to push his heavy ass off of me.

"Did you see that shit Wardo? That was fucking hot bro!" he says grinning down at me.

"Yeah, too bad you fell over before we could see some tongue action you ass!" I tell him, still trying to push him off me.

We hear giggling from above us and Emmett finally pulls his massive weight off of me. We look up into the flushed faces of Bella and Rosalie.

"Problems boys?" Rosalie says with a smirk before they both saunter away, with their hands on each other's ass cheeks, giggling.

"Fuck me!" I groan out as I pull myself off the floor.

"Right?" Emmett says, but makes no move to get up. I reach a hand out to help him up and drag him to his feet.

"Let the fun begin, or should I say torture?" I say to him with a shake of my head.

"Fun torture, but torture none the less." he says back to me and I just sigh as we follow them back to our table.

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><p><strong>AN: Lots of fun singing in this chapter. Alice singing Nicki Minaj? LOL!**

**This week's recommendation is a newer "drabble fic" and it's great. All Nighters by CaraNo. It's these short and sweet little drabbles that she updates at least once a day, usually more.**

_**Edward Cullen needs a new assistant for when he travels. When Charlie, close friend and business partner, suggests Bella, Edward doesn't hesitate. After all, he knows what a bright young woman Bella is. His ex wife even used to babysit her. Drabble fic. **_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com<strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	10. Chapter 9  Shame On Me

**A/N: So, who's ready for HB to perform for Wardo? I am, I am! But first, I must say THANK YOU to bannerday for rec'ing my story and sending me hoards of new readers this past week. Hugs and kisses to her and to all of you! Welcome aboard my crazy train; fasten your seatbelts and keep your arms and legs in the car at all times please. ****A quick formatting note, centered lyrics are being played by the DJ whereas left justified lyrics are being sung.**** Just so you know. **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds. I start to earn that rating in this chapter! *wink, wink* **

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Much love to my most awesome beta gals, LovinRob and DannysMom. Big, wet, juicy, Rob-lipped kisses to the both of you. Also, DannysMom and her family survived Hurricane Irene last weekend and for that I am extremely grateful.**

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><p>Chapter 9 - Shame on Me<p>

I Wanna Go  
>by Britney Spears<p>

I wanna go, all the way  
>Taking out my freak tonight<br>I wanna show  
>All the dirt<br>I got running through my mind

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><p>Friday 11-12am<p>

We make it back to our table and just watch people make asses of themselves on the karaoke pedestal. Mike the bartender butchers a version of Bon Jovi's Livin on a Prayer. Someone actually boo's him from the audience. It may have been Riley, based on the smirk he has as he walks to the pedestal to take his turn.

"This is how it's done Mikey Mikey Bo Bikey!" he says.

"_Mississippi in the middle of a dry spell  
>Jimmy Rogers on the Victrola up high<br>Mama's dancin' with baby on her shoulder  
>The sun is settin' like molasses in the sky<br>The boy could sing, knew how to move, everything  
>Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for"<em>

Oh Jesus! He must be feeling lonely tonight. He only sings Black Velvet when he needs to snuggle with someone. Shit. He's really good, but it's hard to take him seriously when he's half naked with mirrored aviator sunglasses on. He's watching me as he sings and I know what he wants.

"_Black velvet and that little boy's smile  
>Black velvet with that slow southern style<br>A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees  
>Black velvet if you please"<em>

I just shake my head and head towards him. He's my best friend and if he needs this to feel better than who am I to tell him no. It's not a big deal anyway. I grab an empty chair on my way towards him and place it in the center of the pedestal before I climb up and sit down. I face away from the crowd because he wants me to focus on him and not the crowd. He walks in a circle around me and runs his fingers across my shoulders and chest as he goes, still singing.

"_Up in Memphis the music's like a heat wave  
>White lightening, bound to drive you wild<br>Mama's baby's in the heart of every school girl  
>"Love me tender" leaves 'em cryin' in the aisle<br>The way he moved, it was a sin, so sweet and true  
>Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for"<em>

He sings more confidently and just keeps moving around me. He keeps a hand on me at all times, he says it grounds him. He continues on and as much as I love him, he's totally killing my buzz.

"_In a flash he was gone,  
>It happened so soon,<br>What could you do?  
>Black velvet and that little boy's smile<br>Black velvet with that slow southern style  
>A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees<br>Black velvet if you please"_

The crowd erupts in loud cheers like they normally do when Riley sings. They love him, and for good reason because he is just simply amazing. He sits sideways across my lap and puts his arm around my shoulders.

"Thanks E-Baby. I needed that." he tells me and kisses my nose when he's done.

"Anytime Ri. Any particular reason you're feeling sad tonight? Do I need to take some mother fucker down? Cause I will, you know I will." I tell him.

"I'm just afraid I'm gonna lose you. I see the way you look at her and I'm gonna get left in the dust." he tells me sadly. I grab his chin so he'll look at me before I speak.

"Riley, that won't happen, EVER. Ok? You're my Twinkie! I'll never leave you in the dust." I tell him.

"Ok." he tells me, getting off my lap and jumping off the pedestal. I get up as well, taking the chair with me when I jump down and give him a huge hug.

"I love you, now quit being an emo queen and get me something to drink. You just managed to kill my buzz and probably everyone else's in here also."

"Sure thing E-Baby. But just so you know, I get better tips when I'm an emo queen." he tells me with a wink before he heads back towards the bar.

Cheeky bastard.

The DJ announces that its Bella's turn to sing and I perk right the fuck up. I can't wait to see what she has up her sleeve.

"Howdy!" she says when the DJ hands her the microphone. She's such a goof. Who the fuck says howdy anymore? She gives me a death glare when she sees I'm silently laughing at her.

"Well I was gonna dedicate this to Edward, but since he's being a dick, who wants it?" she asks the crowd.

There are way too many guys calling out to her and she just shrugs her shoulders and sticks her pretty little pink tongue out at me. I move closer to her and stick my fingers into the front of her corset pulling her down so she has to bend over. Her face is level with mine and I growl out "mine" before I kiss her. I can hear the collective groans from all the guys in the crowd as I release her. It makes me smile with my teeth.

The music starts and I don't think I've ever heard the song that's playing. She starts to sing though and I'm hypnotized.

Holy mother of fuck!

She swivels her hips to the music, bends her knees and runs her right hand from her hip, up her side, over the side of her breast and then out in front of her. She's staring at me intently the whole time. I'm curious as to what my face looks like because she just smiles proudly as she sings. I don't know because I think I've died and this must be heaven. And I'm okay with that.

"_Lately I been stuck imagining  
>What I wanna do and what I really think,<br>Time to blow out  
>Be a little inappropriate<br>'Cause I know that everybody's thinkin' it  
>When the lights out<em>

_Shame on me  
>To need release<br>Un-uncontrollably_

_I I I wanna go o o,  
>All the way ay ay<br>Takin' out my freak tonight  
>I I I wanna show ow ow<br>All the dirt ir irt  
>I got running through my mind"<em>

Oh god! She continues to shimmy and shake and rub all over herself. She's swiveling her hips in these fucking little circles and I'm the hardest I've been all night. I don't think I'll be able to will this one away either.

"_Lately people got me all tied up  
>There's a countdown waiting for me to erupt<br>Time to blow out  
>I've been told who I should do it with<br>To keep both my hands above the bl-an-ket  
>When the lights out<em>

_Shame on me  
>To need release<br>Un-uncontrollably_

_I I I wanna go o o,  
>All the way ay ay<br>Takin' out my freak tonight  
>I I I wanna show ow ow<br>All the dirt ir irt  
>I got running through my mind"<em>

Fuck me running! I can do nothing but stand and stare. All of my blood, and apparently my brain cells too, are all gathered rather painfully in my cock. I clench my fists and take some deep breaths in order to calm myself. I feel like I could possibly cum without even a single touch from her. I groan thinking about her touching me and I snap.

"_Shame on me  
>(Shame on me)<em>

_To need release  
>(To need release)<em>

_Un-uncontrollably  
>(Uncontrollably)<em>

_I I I wanna go o o,  
>All the way ay ay<br>Takin' out my freak tonight  
>I I I wanna show ow ow<br>All the dirt ir irt  
>I got running through my mind<br>Whoa"_

I grab her around her waist and pull her off the pedestal; she wraps her legs around my hips and locks her ankles behind my back. I slam my lips to hers and we clank teeth with the force. She's breathing hard from her performance and maybe from my reaction to that performance as well.

"Oh god, E-Baby. Take me away from here. I need to feel you!" she pants out before she slips her tongue back into my mouth. I'm glad I know my way around the club pretty well because I'm not paying attention to where I'm walking at all. I just know that I'm heading towards the staff lounge.

"Shit! You can't say stuff like that to me HB." I tell her, trying to think about something other than her pussy rubbing up and down on my denim clad cock.

I kick open the swinging door at the end of the bar and walk down the hallway before entering the second door on the right. I lock the door behind us but don't bother with flipping on the light switch; there is a night light that is creating a perfect amount of ambient lighting.

There is a chocolate colored leather love seat against the left wall and a small flat screen TV mounted on the wall across from it. There is a floor cabinet that houses supplies for the room, toilet paper, tissues, cleaner and such, with a mirror on the wall behind it. It's the perfect height so I plop Bella down onto it and grind my swollen crotch into her none too gently.

The resulting moan that escapes from her causes my inner animal to break free. I move my face down into her cleavage and stick my tongue down between her breasts underneath her corset. I place wet, open mouth kisses, followed by little nips all along the swells of her breasts. I slide my hands up underneath her shorts and grab a fistful of each ass cheek. Bella moves her hands from my shoulders and starts to unbutton her shorts.

"Oh god, fuck!" I say as I watch her shorts open up and reveal a skimpy pair of black lace panties. She shimmies her hips and slides her shorts down. I pull them the rest of the way off. She starts to pull her panties down but I stop her.

"I'm not fucking you HB." I tell her and she looks confused before a look of rejection crosses her face and she looks away from me.

"Shit! That came out wrong. I want you, feel." I say as I grab her hand and rub her palm over the bulge in my jeans. "I mean here, I don't want to fuck you here, in a bathroom at a club. But..." I trail off waiting to see how she responds. And she doesn't disappoint. She squeezes my cock a bit through my jeans and looks me dead in the eye.

"But you are going to fuck me?" she asks all shy and innocent like, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth. I groan and push forward against her hand.

"Umm, fuck yes! But right now, you were a naughty girl out there. Practically begging me to give you, what was it? Oh yes, a release. You want me to do that for you HB? Hmm?" I say against her lips.

"Please, oh fuck, please." She says.

I move my hands up and grip her thighs. I start to lightly skim my thumbs over her pussy, on top of her panties. I can feel the wetness through the flimsy material.

"Is this all for me Honey Bee?" I ask smugly. She growls and kisses me fiercely.

"Only you E-Baby. Now if you don't stop fucking teasing me I'll do it my damn self!" she says before dragging her tongue across my teeth. Never thought that having my teeth licked would be a turn on but it surprisingly is, very much so.

I slip my hand into her panties from the side. I run my middle finger through her smooth, moist lips, gathering some of her wetness and then trail upwards, lightly circling her little clit. She bucks forward and moans, really fucking loud.

"Holy fuck that's hot, HB, but you need to take it down a notch." I tell her.

"I don't give a shit Wardo. Like every single person out there doesn't know exactly what we are doing right now, especially after your little caveman show out there. Now stick your fingers in my pussy and make cum. Please!" she says.

"Well, since you said please." I huff out sarcastically, but her aggressiveness is awesome.

I circle once more before sliding back down and dipping my middle finger into her. She whimpers and pulls on my shoulders, bringing me closer to her. It's a weird angle so I place my hand flat on the mirror behind her and curve my back to give me some more space to work.

I pump my finger into her a few times before I add my pointer finger to the mix. I press on her clit with my thumb and she starts to grind onto my fingers.

"More baby, give me more E-Baby." she begs.

I add a third finger and start to thrust them into her at a forceful but gentle pace all while using my thumb to press on her clit. I can feel her internal muscles start to tighten around my fingers. She takes one of her hands from my shoulders and brings it down on top of my hand that's between her legs. She presses my thumb harder down onto her clit and then starts to move it quite vigorously.

After a few back and forth swipes across her clit, her body goes rigid, she clamps down on my fingers and her breath catches in her throat. Her face is flushed a pretty pink and a beautiful open mouth smile lifts her lips and it is the most breathtaking site I've ever seen.

I slow my ministrations on her pussy, dragging the rest of her orgasm out of her and bringing her back down to earth gently. She finally opens her eyes to find me staring intently at her. She lets out a small hiss as I slowly remove my fingers from her. I can't help it when I bring my fingers to my mouth and suck them between my lips, tasting her. Liquid heaven. She crashes her lips to mine and starts to tangle her tongue with my own, moaning at the taste of her essence in my mouth.

"That. Was. Freaking amazing. Thank you." She tells me.

"My pleasure HB." I tell her, and then reach down for her shorts, slipping them over her feet.

She jumps off the cabinet and pulls them up the rest of the way. I have to adjust the carbon steel rod that's residing in my pants and she notices. She pushes me down onto the couch and drops to her knees in front of me, immediately grabbing for the buttons on my jeans.

"You don't need to do that Honey Bee." I tell her with my hand placed over hers. "I'm a patient man, delayed gratification and all that."

"That can't be comfortable Wardo?" she questions, while running her fingers gently over the impressive bulge in my pants.

"I'm getting used to it." I tell her with a smirk. "I'll take a rain check though if that's cool?"

"Definitely." she tells me before crawling on my lap and kissing me sweetly.

"Let's get back out there before they put out an APB on us, ok?"

She laughs at me, "Ok."

I wash my hands and Bella fixes her just finger fucked hair, reapplies some of her banana chapstick that I will soon just lick off and we head back out to the club, with our fingers linked and goofy smiles on our faces.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yup, Wardo cockblocked himself on that one. LOL! Good things cum, err, I mean come, to those who wait. Just sayin'. **

**This week I'm going to rec a contest. Capricorn75 and avioleta are hosting the Slash/\Backslash 3.0 contest. There are some amazing entries that I would you urge to go have a look-see at. Obviously, as the contest title suggests, it is Slash, so if that is not your cup of tea then please don't drink it. Read all the entries here: ****www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Slash_Backslash_3_0/74941/14/0/1/  
>Removing the (dot) with a ● of course! :)<strong>

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com <strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	11. Chapter 10 Girl Quit Playin'

**A/N: So, last chapter we had some sexy staff lounge times and an epic self cockblock by the man himself. Now who's ready to see what Wardo and Ham are gonna sing? Just a quick note, the featured song really has nothing to do with this chapter, I just like the song, so don't read too much into it. **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Props to my ladies, LovinRob and DannysMom, for making my shit presentable. I've already delivered to them some delicious Scrubward pics as payment.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 10 - Girl Quit Playin'<p>

Santeria  
>by Sublime<p>

What I really wanna know, ahh baby, mmmm...  
>What I really wanna say I can't define.<br>Well it's love, that I need. Ohh...

* * *

><p>Saturday 12-1am<p>

We head straight to the bar after our little romp. Riley sees us and just shakes his head at us. He's smiling at least so I know he can't be that mad.

"I hope you cleaned up after defiling the employees lounge E-baby?" he says laughing and Bella blushes. "It's a good thing I love you or I would have kicked your asses out of here." he continues.

"So you and Ham are up after this bozo finishes his wailing." Riley says, pointing to the guy on stage that's making a mess of Santeria.

"_My soul will have to wait till I get back  
>Find a heina of my own<br>Daddy's gonna love one and all  
>I feel the break, feel the break, feel the break<br>And I gotta live it out  
>Oh yeah un-huh"<em>

"I don't think I'll be able to listen to this song the same ever again." Bella says with a shudder.

Bella orders us both a Modelo with a wedge of lime and I look at her curiously.

"What? I'm more of a beer girl in all reality. I don't usually drink that fruity shit." she tells me, nonchalant.

"Be still my beating heart, I think I've found my Queen." I say to her with a hand over my heart and then I bow down to her.

"Ass!" she says with a slap to my chest.

I manage to swill a third of my beer before the DJ calls for us.

"Alright folks, give it up for Wardo and Ham. For any of you regulars out there you've probably seen this before, but for any newbie's, sit back, relax and enjoy the show."

"Wish me luck HB!" I say, followed by a quick peck to her lips.

Emmett and I don't both fit on the pedestal very well, so since I sing the first part I get up on the pedestal. I smirk when I hear the music start and see the look on Bella's face. Priceless.

"_Ohh wooaahhh  
>Ohh wooaahhh<br>Ohh wooaahhh  
>You know you love me<br>I know you care  
>Just shout whenever,<br>And I'll be there  
>You want my love<br>You want my heart  
>And we would never, ever, ever be apart<br>Are we an item?  
>Girl quit playin'<br>We're just friends,  
>What are you sayin'?<br>Said there's another as you look right in my eyes  
>My first love, broke my heart for the first time"<em>

I dance, full out with the fist pumps in the air, the single fist chest pounding, the popping of the collar and pulling on the open ends of my shirt, turning little circles and even the Michael Jackson toe stand. I smile because I can't help it, I'm that awesome. I am totally channeling Bieber; in fact I think I might be better!

"_And I was like  
>Baby, baby, baby ooh<br>Like  
>Baby, baby, baby noo<br>Like  
>Baby, baby, baby ohh<br>I thought you'd always be mine (mine)  
>Baby, baby, baby ohh<br>Like  
>Baby, baby, baby noo<br>Like  
>Baby, baby, baby ohh<br>I thought you'd always be mine (mine)"_

Bella has made her way to the booth with Rosalie and Alice and Jasper. They are all laughing at me, but that's ok. I'm tipsy and I like to make an ass out of myself.

"_Oh oh for you, I would have done whatever  
>And I just can't believe we ain't together<br>And I wanna play it cool  
>But I'm losin' you<br>I'll buy you anything  
>I'll buy you any ring<br>Cause I'm in pieces  
>Baby, fix me<br>And just shake me till you wake me from this bad dream  
>I'm goin down, down, down, down<br>And I just can't believe my first love won't be around"_

I jump off the pedestal and walk to our booth. I climb up on the table and pull Bella up with me. I grab her by the waist and bring her close to me, swaying my hips with hers and sing to her. She doesn't shy away from my awesomeness, she embraces it. She runs her hands across my pecs, to my shoulders, then down around my back before she stops on my butt cheeks and gives them a fairly rough squeeze causing my voice to crack. She just throws her head back and full out belly laughs at me. The jerky motion from her laughter is causing her pelvis to rub me just right and I have to take a deep breath in an attempt to control myself.

"_And I'm like  
>Baby, baby, baby ohh<br>Like  
>Baby, baby, baby noo<br>Like  
>Baby, baby, baby ohh<br>I thought you'd always be mine (mine)  
>Baby, baby, baby ohh<br>Like  
>Baby, baby, baby noo<br>Like  
>Baby, baby, baby ohh<br>I thought you'd always be mine (mine)"_

In the meantime, Emmett has hopped up onto the pedestal and starts to belt out Luda's verse. He tries so hard, but his rapping is more funny than good. Everyone gets a kick out of him. It doesn't help him that the lyrics are incredibly juvenile. Rosalie lets out an earsplitting whistle before raising her hands up in the air and screaming for him.

"_When I was 13, I had my first love  
>There was nobody that compared to my baby<br>And nobody came between us, no one could ever come above  
>She had me going crazy, oh I was star-struck,<br>She woke me up daily, don't need no Starbucks (Woo!)  
>She made my heart pound, I skip a beat when I see her in the street<br>And at school on the playground, but I really wanna see her on the weekend  
>She knows she got me dazing cuz she was so amazing<br>And now my heart is breaking but I just keep on saying..."_

I'm laughing as I start to sing the last bit of the song. Bella is still swaying with me and she's smiling really huge. At least she's entertained instead of embarrassed by me. I can tell, even in the darkness of the club that her eyes have blackened with lust. I can feel her labored breaths hit my face with every heightened exhalation. I'm proud, and incredibly turned on myself, that I can elicit such a reaction from her when I'm being a fucking idiot.

"_Baby, baby, baby ohh  
>Like<br>Baby, baby, baby noo  
>Like<br>Baby, baby, baby ohh  
>I thought you'd always be mine (mine)<br>Baby, baby, baby ohhh  
>Like<br>Baby, baby, baby, noo  
>Like<br>Baby, baby, baby ohh  
>I thought you'd always be mine (mine)"<em>

I kiss her on the forehead and jump down, running back to Emmett. He pulls me up onto the pedestal with him and we finish off the song together.

"_I'm gone  
>Yeahh, yeah, yeah<br>Yeahh, yeahhh  
>Now I'm all gone<br>Yeahh, yeah, yeah  
>Yeahh, yeahhh<br>Now I'm all gone  
>Yeahh, yeah, yeah<br>Yeahh, yeahhh  
>Now I'm all gone, gone, gone, gone<br>I'm gone"_

Emmett and I bow to the roar of the audience. We are a crowd pleaser every time, that's for damn sure. We both hop down and head to our booth. Bella and Rosalie attack us like some sort of band groupies. They are laughing and telling us how good we were.

"I didn't know you could sing Wardo?" Bella asks me. I just shrug. I'm alright. I notice that Jasper is missing and that Alice has a frown on her face.

"What's up Zé? Where's Jasper?" I ask her.

"He went to the bar. He's been acting really strange for the past half hour. Will you go find out what his deal is?" she pleads with me.

"Sure." I say, heading towards the bar. Jasper has his head lying on his forearms on top of the bar.

"What's crackin' Jizzper? You've got Alizé in a tizzy over there." I ask him.

He mumbles into his arms. I caught a groan and maybe a "can't" and a "this" but I can't be sure. He shakes his head back and forth, still on his arms.

"What's wrong Jasper?" I'm curious now.

"I'm just nervous bro." he says to me, finally looking up. His eyes are wild and his neck is flushed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I blurt out; he looks like a crazy person.

"Just do me a favor and get Alice in front of the pedestal in 5 minutes please. Can you do that?"

"What for?" I demand.

"Just do it please." he doesn't wait for a response this time, just heads through the swinging door, back towards the staff lounge.

"Oooookay." I say out loud, to no one but myself. I then walk over to our table to a distraught looking Alice.

"He's up to something, but he wouldn't tell me what. He just said to get you in front of the pedestal." I tell her with a shoulder shrug.

"Why? He never sings." she questions me.

"He didn't tell me Alice. I swear! Just go to the pedestal." I plead as the DJ starts to make an announcement.

"We have a special treat for you tonight. Please give it up for the one and only Jasper Masen."

"Hey." he gives a little wave.

He's looking around for Alice and finally spots her making her way towards the pedestal. He smiles and starts licking the corner of his lip. Oh shit, what is he going to do?

"This is for you Zé baby. I love you." Jasper says before starting to strum on the guitar in his lap. Where the fuck did he get a guitar? I'm wondering when he starts to sing.

"_Forever can never be long enough for me  
>To feel like I've had long enough with you<br>Forget the world now we won't let them see  
>But there's one thing left to do"<em>

His voice cracks but he's trying. I've heard worse, like the Sublime murderer earlier. Alice must recognize this song because she brings both hands up to cover her mouth. I notice Bella and Rosalie move towards her but stop and stand just behind her. Emmett and I move and stand behind them. I think Jasper misses his place because he just strums the guitar for an exorbitant amount of time. He must find the words or his courage because finally starts to sing again.

"_Now that the weight has lifted  
>Love has surely shifted my way<br>Marry Me  
>Today and every day<br>Marry Me  
>If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this café<br>Say you will Mm-hmm  
>Say you will Mm-hmm"<em>

Well I'll be goddamned if he isn't proposing, right the fuck now, by playing the guitar and singing. I'm a little dumbfounded. He's singing for one, which he never does, in front of an audience no less, and two, he's fucking proposing!

"_Together can never be close enough for me  
>Feel like I am close enough to you<br>You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you  
>And you're beautiful<br>Now that the wait is over  
>And love and has finally shown her my way<br>Marry me  
>Today and every day<br>Marry me  
>If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe<br>Say you will Mm-hmm  
>Say you will Mm-hmm"<em>

Rosalie and Bella link their hands and Bella reaches back with her free hand and takes a fistful of my shirt in her hand and leans her head back on my chest. I can see Alice's little shoulders shaking with the force of her cries.

"_Promise me  
>You'll always be<br>Happy by my side  
>I promise to<br>Sing to you  
>When all the music dies<br>And marry me  
>Today and everyday<br>Marry me  
>If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe<br>Say you will Mm-hmm  
>Say you will Marry me Mm-hmm" <em>

Jasper hands the guitar to the DJ and reaches out to Alice. He picks her up under her arms, like one would a small child. He sets her in the chair and gets down on his knees in front of her.

"Alice, that song that I just sang for you? That is a poor representation of how I feel. Nothing is capable of properly expressing my feelings for you. To put it simply, I've loved you always, from the day we first kissed when I was 13 and I will love you forever. Marry me?" Jaspers says as he places that famous blue box on her knee.

"Yes Jizzy, a hundred million trillion times yes!" Alice blubbers out through her tears.

Bella tightens her grip on my shirt and I nuzzle my nose into her neck. I hear her sniffle and I place a small kiss behind her ear as I wrap my arms around her waist.

"That was so sweet." she whispers out.

"Yeah. He was supposed to do it next weekend though." I tell her.

"You knew?" she asks.

"I didn't know he was doing this." I say pointing to the stage before I continue, "He told us earlier that he was going to do it, but when he was in San Diego next weekend."

Alice runs over to Bella and Rosalie screeching.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Did you guys see that? Wasn't that the most romantic thing ever? Isn't Jasper's voice so dreamy? He proposed! HE PROPOSED! I'M GETTING MARRIED! AHHHHHH!" Alice says, I swear without taking a single breathe in between.

All three girls start to jump up and down, screaming, and saying things like, "so romantic" and "you're getting married" and "he's such a catch" and "holy shit, that's a huge rock!"

Alice holds her hand out, fingers pointing down to show off the new addition to her ring finger and holy shit is right. That thing is massive. I don't know how she manages to keep her arm lifted in mid air. The center stone is a large square and there are small square diamonds set into the band down both sides of the ring.

Emmett, whose blubbering like a big giant baby, swoops his sister up into his arms and gives her a hug, swinging her back and forth.

"I'm so happy for you." He says to her, placing a kiss on her forehead before setting her back down on her feet.

"MY BABY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED! TO MY BEST FRIEND!" He shouts out to the crowd, who responds in kind with claps and shouts of congratulations.

Jasper, whose standing off to the side, looks like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

I reach out and pull him into my arms for a hug.

"Congrats brother! That was pretty fucking amazing up there." I tell him.

"Thanks. As I was watching everybody sing, I thought what the hell; I can do that and make it memorable at the same time. So, she said yes. SHE SAID YES!" he says with a huge grin on his face.

"I told you so. When are you going to learn to not doubt my abilities?" I say, slinging my arm over his shoulders. "I am all knowing." I continue with a laugh.

"Let's go make a toast to the special occasion." I say and walk us back towards the booth.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And all together now… AWWWWWW! How sweet is our Jizzper? There is a pic of the ring on my blog if you're curious. How about Ham and Wardo doing the Bieb and Luda? Pretty freaking awesome right? LMFAO! Oh god! Marry Me by Train makes me think of Rob cause I can picture him doing something like writing a song and singing his proposal. SWOON! Gah! **

**This week I'm going to rec a complete story for once since I've done a WIP all weeks, except for 2 I think. It's an oldie but a goodie, The Elite by FateofGabriel. It's an Alice/Emmett story, as a warning for you canon lovers out there. Really it's an Alice is a she-whore story, but mostly with Emmett. It's fantastic, so much so that I think I'll read it again; it's been far too long.**

_Doing what rich people do is easy." Same old story, Twilight twist. St. Olaf's is a prestigious boarding school, dripping with money, sex, and social hierarchy. But there's only one question to ask yourself: are you one of Them or one or The Elite?_

**And go read some yummy slash stories over at the Slash/\Backslash 3.0 contest. Voting opens on Monday, 9/12, so go read up and vote for your favorite.  
>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)netcommunity/Slash_Backslash_3_0/74941/14/0/1/**

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com <strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	12. Chapter 11  Kiss Me Til You're Drunk

**A/N: So, I'm gonna apologize beforehand for the craptasticness that is this chapter. It whooped my ass hardcore and I almost didn't think I'd get it done. My bitchin' beta ladies talked me down from my cliff and helped me work through it though, so if it sucks, blame them. LOL! Just kidding, all suckiness is my own. Anyway, that's enough of my self-flagellation, see you at the bottom. Thank you and hugs to all who read and to those who review, you get kisses too. I may start bribing you all with teasers or something to increase that number.**

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**LovinRob and DannysMom, I bow down in submission to your awesomeness.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 11 – Kiss Me til You're Drunk<p>

Moves Like Jagger  
>By Maroon 5 featuring Christina Aguilera<p>

Just shoot for the stars  
>If it feels right<br>And aim for my heart  
>If you feel like<br>Can take me away and make it OK  
>I swear I'll behave<p>

You wanted control  
>So we waited<br>I put on a show  
>Now I make it<br>You say I'm a kid  
>My ego is big<br>I don't give a shit  
>And it goes like this<p>

* * *

><p>Saturday 1-2am<p>

We order shots of Patron when we're all gathered around our booth again. Jasper is already grimacing at the thought of tequila shots and Alice is still bouncing in her seat while staring at him with a lovesick grin on her face.

Riley brings us all two shots each including himself. There are plates of lemons and three small salt shakers as well. He doesn't usually drink while he's working. I raise my eyebrow at him.

"What? I'm not missing out on this toast. It's a celebration of our friends getting engaged Edward! Chillax will ya?" He tells me with a shove to my shoulder.

"I don't care that you're participating but you rarely drink when you're working so I was just wondering. Chillax yourself!" I say, exasperated with his dramatics.

We all prep ourselves with salt and lemons. Emmett stands up in front of our half circle booth and raises a shot glass.

"To my baby sister and my best friend! May your marriage be long and prosperous! And I can't wait for a niece or nephew so get right on that, will ya?" Emmett says before tossing the shot back.

"Sure thing Dr. Spock." Alice says in retort before leaning over the table and giving her brother a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, man!" Jasper says with a fist bump to Emmett.

I clear my throat and stand as well. "I'd also like to say congrats to my brother and Alice. It's about damn time you two quit denying shit and made this thing official." I lift my shot glass and toss back the smooth liquid and shove the lemon slice in my mouth.

"Thanks Wardo!" Alice says, also giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks brother, for assuring me that this was okay and for talking me down earlier." he tells me with a squeeze to my shoulder.

"Ladies, let's rock this motherfucker, shall we?" Riley says with his arms spread out to his side.

All the girls hop up and follow him to the karaoke pedestal. They all manage to get up there together and start moving to the music. It's funny to watch them. Alice keeps looking at her left hand as she's swinging her arms in the air. Riley is just in his own world, spinning circles within the ring of girls with his eyes closed and a huge smile on his face.

_You want to know how to make me smile_  
><em>Take control, own me just for the night<em>  
><em>But if I share my secret<em>  
><em>You're gonna have to keep it<em>  
><em>Nobody else can see this<em>

_So watch and learn_  
><em>I won't show you twice<em>  
><em>Head to toe, oh baby, rub me right<em>  
><em>But if I share my secret<em>  
><em>You're gonna have to keep it<em>  
><em>Nobody else can see this<em>

_And it goes like this_

_Take me by the tongue_  
><em>And I'll know you<em>  
><em>Kiss me 'til you're drunk<em>  
><em>And I'll show you<em>

_All the moves like Jagger_  
><em>I've got the moves like Jagger<em>  
><em>I've got the moves like Jagger<em>

_I don't need to try to control you_  
><em>Look into my eyes and I'll own you<em>

_With the moves like Jagger_  
><em>I've got the moves like Jagger<em>  
><em>I've got the moves like Jagger<em>

Bella and Rosalie have their backs to Riley and Alice and are staring at Ham and I while they whirl and wiggle. I just lean back and watch, because HB is hot and she's dancing like I'm the only guy in the room. I could get used to this. I can hear Jasper and Emmett talking about something but I can't pull my eyes from Bella. She is so fucking sexy and she demands my attention without even asking for it. I don't think she realizes how much she owns my ass right now. I snap myself out of my Bella-induced stupor and turn to join in the conversation that's taking place between my brother and Emmett.

"So any thoughts on when this shindig may take place?" Emmett asks Jasper.

"Probably not for awhile. Alice has always talked about getting married in July and this July is way too soon, so probably next year." Jasper says.

"Think you'll get married in Forks?" I wonder.

"Fuck no! Alice can have complete control over everything, I'll even wear a fucking pink tuxedo if she wants me to, but I have the final say on where we are getting married and its gonna be in Vegas, baby!" Jasper tells me, nodding his head with a huge grin on his face.

"Sweet!" Emmett says, holding his hand out for another fist bump.

"So, I think I'm gonna take Alice back to the girl's hotel. I'd like to celebrate with my fiancée. Can you guys take care of Rose and Bella tonight?" Jasper asks with a pleading look on his face.

"Like you even need to ask Jizz. You go have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do. Mmmkay?" Emmett says.

"And is there anything that you won't do Ham?" I wonder.

"Shut the fuck up Eddie. I may be a kinky fucker but at least I've never made out with a dude." He tells me with a smug smirk on his face.

"Yeah, yeah, you're just jealous. I see the way you look at Riley." I tell him before flipping him the bird and sliding out of the booth. I need another beer.

I get to the bar and order my beer. I feel a pair of small arms wrap around my waist from behind while I'm taking the first sip. I look over my shoulder and see Bella with her chin resting in the middle of my back and her face tilted upwards. She smiles at me and I die a little. I honestly don't think I'll make it out of this club tonight; she will be the death of me. She slips her hands underneath my tee shirt and starts to tickle her fingers over my stomach. I can't help the shudder that runs through me and the goose bumps that cover my skin following her touch. She giggles.

I turn in her embrace and ask her what's so funny.

"I just love how reactive your body is to me. You make me feel hot and sexy by how you respond to my touch. It's fucking amazing." She tells me as she runs her hands up my arms and wraps them around my neck.

I lower my lips to hers and just barely rub back and forth. I add a bit more pressure and place a very chaste closemouthed kiss on her lips. I bring my hand up and cup her cheek, she leans into it and that makes me smile. Perhaps my feelings are not as one-sided as I originally thought.

"HB, you are the most beautiful, sinfully sexy, fuckhot woman I have ever met, so of course my body is going to respond you. I mean fuck, I've been hard all fucking night for you." I tell her and she blushes.

"Beautiful" I whisper as I run fingertips across her cheek.

"So, I guess I get to take you home with me tonight. Does that mean I get to keep you? Oh please, please. I promise to take good care of you." I say, begging with my eyes and with my bottom lip stuck out in a pout.

"What makes you think I want to go home with you? Maybe Lita and I will take Jasper and Em's place and you and Em can share your bed. I think I like that idea better." She tells me with a smack to my chest.

"Uhhhh, but you said." I whine, still pouting my lips.

"What did I say Wardo?" She says with a grin and her arms crossed over her tits.

I lean down and nuzzle into the arc of her neck. I place a small kiss there and then move lips right over her ear, "You said I could fuck you HB, and I fully intend on cashing in on that offer. I also remember taking a rain check on a hummer as well, so…" I trail off as I feel her shiver.

"What about Lita? She might not be comfortable going home with Emmett." She says, like that's even an argument.

I nod my head to the booth and tell her that I doubt that will be an issue. She looks over and notices that Rosalie is straddling Emmett's lap and her face is attached to his by some forceful suction. Emmett's hands are up underneath her dress and I can practically hear them moaning from here.

"Humph, traitor." Bella says in their direction.

"My ego is taking a serious hit here HB." I say with mock seriousness.

"I'm just fucking with you E-Baby; don't get your knickers in a twist." She tells me as she circles her arms around my waist.

"What makes you think I'm wearing any knickers?" I snort as I say that. I've always wanted to use that word and have never had a reason to until now.

I can see a lusty glaze set over Bella's face and she mutters out _"fuck me"_ before crashing her lips to mine. I return the kiss in kind. I slide my hands down and cup her perfectly plump ass cheeks. She moans into my mouth so I give those cheeks a little squeeze. She pulls away and I swear a growl rumbles in my chest.

"I want to stay with you, Wardo." She tells me and then lays another searing kiss on me. My inner perv is jumping up and down at the thought of getting into her pants soon. My heart is jumping up and down at the thought that this woman, who is perfect for me in every possible way, wants me as much as I want her.

"Let's go see if Ham and Lita are ready cause I'm tempted to leave their asses here if they aren't." I laugh against her lips.

We make our way back to the table.

"Bella, you'll be okay going with Wardo tonight?" Alice asks her.

"Humph. I guess, dirty ditcher." Bella says, smiling, as she pulls Alice into her arms for a hug.

They squeal and rock side to side. I can hear Bella telling Alice congratulations again and that she hopes she has fun and then she says thank you before giving Alice another squeeze.

"No problem Bella and I don't wanna brag, but I freaking told you so." Alice says.

Bella doesn't respond just shoves Alice into Jasper and laughs before she leans in and gives Jasper a hug as well.

"Alright, were taking off then. It's been fun, and we'll see you tomorrow sometime." Jasper tells me and Emmett.

"Have fun you two love birds." Emmett says, wagging his eyebrows.

"Dude that doesn't creep you out that you're saying that to your little sister?" I ask.

"Nah, it's what happens right? I just don't want to see it or hear it, but I know it happens." He says with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Your weird Ham, but anyway, HB and I are ready to bounce. Are you two ready?" I ask, pointing my now empty beer bottle at them.

"Let's blow this pop stand." Emmett says as he slides out of the booth and pulls Rosalie out behind him.

We stop at the bar to pay our tab and to say our goodbyes to Riley. He tells us that he is off tomorrow and will be expecting to hear from me at some point to make plans. I tell him that I'll call him and we head out of the club.

As we make our way out of the club, Tyler and Felix are still manning the doors.

"You guys heading out?" Tyler asks.

"Yup, the old man can't hang anymore." Emmett tells him with head nod in my direction.

I just shake my head and clap Tyler on the back.

"Hey! I didn't get my dance little lady." Tyler says to Bella. I tighten my grip on her waist, over my dead body motherfucker. She just turns her head and blows him a kiss as we walk away.

We hop into the waiting limo and give the driver our address. The girls have the moon roof opened before we even make it out of the parking lot. They are both standing up out of it and are singing along with the radio and the top of their lungs, but they are singing the naughty version.

_"I know you want me_  
><em>I made it obvious that I want you too<em>  
><em>So put it on me<em>  
><em>Let's remove the space between me and you<em>  
><em>Now rock your body (oooh)<em>  
><em>Damn I like the way that you move<em>  
><em>So give it to me (oooo oooh)<em>  
><em>Cause I already know what you wanna do<em>

_Here's the situation_  
><em>Been to every nation<em>  
><em>Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do<em>  
><em>You know my motivation<em>  
><em>Given my reputation<em>  
><em>Please excuse I don't mean to be rude<em>

_But tonight I'm fucking you_  
><em>Oh you know<em>  
><em>That tonight I'm fucking you<em>  
><em>Oh you know<em>  
><em>That tonight I'm fucking you<em>

_You're so damn pretty_  
><em>if I had a type than baby it'd be you<em>  
><em>I know you're ready<em>  
><em>if I never lied, than baby you'd be the truth"<em>

Thank god the ride from the club to our apartment is only a few minutes. We arrive before the song is over. Bella and Rosalie both fall back into the limo as we pull into the complex, looking sexy and windblown, laughing their asses off. It's infectious and soon Emmett and I join in on their drunken giggle fest. We never raised the privacy screen and I can see the driver silently laughing at us and shaking his head. I tell him goodnight and toss him some money as we exit the limo.

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><p><strong>AN: Eek! Is it worthy? This is obviously a transitional chapter, which I struggle with, so… yeah. On a more positive note, they've FINALLY left the club, and are now off to participate in much ***_**ahem**_*** funner activities. According to Urban Dictionary, I'm dumb for saying funner. Hahahaha!**

**Rec for this week is Renfield and Chiclets by katinki. I love me a nerdy Edward and a perverted, nerdy Edward is even better!**

_**COMPLETE. Edward Cullen, PhD: brilliant, nerdy, mildly attractive, and obsessed with Blood and Vampires. Oh, and pervertedly horny. Join him as he searches for Ms. Right. AH/Severely OOC/Very M**_

**And go read some yummy slash stories over at the Slash/\Backslash 3.0 contest. Voting is open until Sunday 9/18, so go read up and vote for your favorite. **

**Read here:  
>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)netcommunity/Slash_Backslash_3_0/74941/14/0/1/**

**Vote here:  
>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)netu/2110516/**

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com <strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	13. Chapter 12  Make Love to you Endless

**A/N: YEAH! Here it is, my favorite chapter. I think this is why I struggled with last chapter. I wrote this one first and I just wanted to get them HERE! LOL! So, I hope you enjoy it. In the words of Tenacious D, "Sometimes you've got to make some love and fucking give her some smoochies too." I'm handing out some love and some smoochies too for all of you who read and extra piled high helpings for those who also review. Thank you all! **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**LovinRob and DannysMom for doing what you do. You two get big, extra slobbery smoochies.**

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><p>Chapter 12 – Make Love to You Endless<p>

Give Me Everything  
>By Pitbull featuring Neyo, Afrojack and Nayer<p>

Tonight I want all of you tonight  
>Give me everything tonight<br>For all we know we might not get tomorrow  
>Let's do it tonight<p>

Don't care what they say  
>All the games they play<br>Nothing is enough  
>'Til they handle love<p>

Let's do it tonight

I want you tonight,  
>I want you to stay<br>I want you tonight

Grab somebody sexy, tell 'em hey  
>Give me everything tonight<br>Give me everything tonight  
>Give me everything tonight<br>Give me everything tonight

* * *

><p>Saturday 2-3am<p>

After the limo drops us off near the office, we all start stumbling in the general direction of our apartments. Bella yanks on my arm when we walk past the pool.

"Let's swim Wardo." She whispers all sexy like in my ear.

"Really? But you don't have a bathing suit do you?" I ask.

"Nope." Is all she says with a wink and a devilish grin before she turns and saunters off in the direction of the pool.

"Fuck me!" I mutter, scrubbing my hands over my face.

"Ham, apparently we're swimming. You guys gonna join us?" I ask Emmett who has Rosalie wrapped around him like a spider monkey.

"Unh, unh." Is the only verbal response I get since he couldn't be bothered to remove his tongue from Rosalie's throat. He does give me a dismissive hand wave though. Great, now I have no backup to help me keep my reverted-to-teenager-status hormones in control.

The pool is closed at this wee hour of the morning, but our keys still open the gate. I make my way over to HB, whose striking a sexy as fuck pose against said gate. She's got her right arm lifted up above her head gripping onto one of the metal bars of the gate. Her left arm is gripping one of the bars near her hip. One of her legs is slightly bent and the other is straight, pushing her chest front and forward. As I reach her, I wrap my arm around her waist, dip my head and kiss her passionately.

"You really have no idea what you do to me." I tell her.

"I think I might." She says as she moves her left hand and cups it around my cock, rubbing softly over the denim.

"Fuck!" I whimper before leaning down to suck her lips into my mouth again.

I grudgingly pull away from her lips and unlock the gate. I open it for us and usher her through before me. I turn to shut the gate quietly behind me as I don't want to draw any attention to us. When I turn back around Bella is walking towards the pool. She already has her shoes and shorts off and I stare at her cute little ass cheeks jiggling as they peek out from underneath her minuscule panties.

The corset is next to hit the concrete decking. I rake my eyes up and down the expanse of her bare back and have to adjust myself for like the 986,347th time tonight. She turns around but has her arms crossed over her chest with her hands cupping each of her boobs. My mouth waters and I honestly think I may have dribbled a bit.

"You coming Wardo?" She whispers.

I clear my throat and squeak out a raspy "Yeah."

I push my button up shirt off my shoulders and free my arms from it. Then I lift my tee up and over my head. I can't help but smile when I hear the whimper that escapes Bella's mouth as she stares at my bare chest. I see her eyes zero in on my nipple piercings and her eyes roll back in her head as she lets out a _for real_ moan this time. I notice that her grip on her tits tightens which elicits a loud groan from me.

She turns and dives into the pool. I just watch, dumbfounded, as she breaks the surface. When she makes her way back up through the water I'm suddenly in a giant hurry to join her. She looks stunning with her hair slicked back and water running down her face. I pull my jeans open urgently and hop on my left foot, while freeing the right from the leg of my jeans and then repeat this for the other side. After I'm out of my jeans I take a second to think about what I just did and give myself a mental high five for managing to not fall ass over tea kettle. My cock is also singing to every entity above about finally being freed from his restricting denim cage. I run and cannonball into the pool. I hear Bella squeal before I hit the water.

When I resurface the first thing I noticed are her tits bobbing in the water. The water line is just below her nipples, making it look like they are being served up on a glass platter for me. I dipped back under the water and swim over to her, wrapping her body in my arms as I come up. The feel of her naked flesh on mine is almost enough to make me cum on contact.

"You're so fucking beautiful Honey Bee." I say as I lift my right hand up out of the water and cup her breast. A perfect fit. I sink down a bit and bring the rosy brown crest to my mouth. Bella gasps and I smile around her tit. I give it little kiss and rise back up to look at her.

"I'm really glad I came here with Alice this weekend." She tells me.

"Me too, baby, me too." I say before I grip her around the neck and pull her face towards mine.

She lifts her legs and wraps them tightly around my waist. I can barely control myself knowing that there are only two pieces of fabric separating us, and the tiny lace scrap that she is wearing can hardly be described as fabric. I do manage to control my desire for her and we just make out like a couple of horny teenagers.

After a few minutes I dunk under the water, pulling her with me. She splutters as we come back up. She pushes away from me and swims backwards, gliding along the surface of the water on her back. Her entire front side is lifted out of the water for my viewing pleasure. I reach down and give my junk a couple stiff strokes over my underwear and then swim to the side of the pool.

As I'm lifting myself out of the pool my boxers slip over my ass because of the weight the water has added to the cotton. I hear Bella giggle behind me. I don't turn around completely but just look over my shoulder at her and walk over to the deep end with my ass still on display for her. I walk out to the end of the low diving board and Bella laughs loudly at me.

"What?" I ask her with my hands fisted on my hips.

"It's a good thing your shit is still hard or you would be flashing me right now, not that I'd mind." She says with a salacious glint in her eyes.

"Is that so? Well I guess you won't care if I do this then?" I say as I pull my boxers up, out and over my still hard cock and let them fall to my feet.

Bella is just gaping at me so I kick the underwear at her and manage to nail her right in the face. She stays frozen like that for a minute with my boxers plastered around her head and I dive in before she peels them off of her face.

It always feels so good to swim in the buff. I swim all the way to the shallow end underneath the water. I pop up and turn, leaning back against the wall and drape my arms along the deck behind me. Bella still seems somewhat stunned.

"Problems HB?" I ask, amused.

She clears her throat and says, "Not at all Wardo."

She starts to swim in my direction and then stands and walks towards me, the level of the water dropping lower and lower until she is right in front of me and the water is at her waist. Her tits are right in my face. Now it's my turn to appear stunned.

"Problems E-Baby?" She giggles out.

I grab her and pull her to me so that my face is smashed into her stomach and just hold her to me. She sets her elbows on my shoulders and runs her fingers through my hair, pushing it back off my forehead. I kiss my way up her stomach and in between her breasts. I rest my chin there and look up at her, smiling. She leans down and places a small kiss on my forehead before moving to my mouth and plunging her tongue inside. The kiss quickly becomes heated and I grip her thighs pulling them apart and sliding in between them. She automatically tightens her legs around my waist and pushes herself harder against me. I moan and tilt my head to deepen the kiss.

"What's going on out here?" An unfamiliar male voice calls out causing Bella to yelp and bury her face in my neck. She pulls her arms down to our sides to hide her side boob from the intruding stranger. Then there's a blinding light flashing straight into my face.

"The pool is closed right now so you need to leave." He demands.

"Alright, can you get that fucking light out of my face please?" I ask him.

"Get out, now!" He says with increased attitude.

"We will if you turn the light off of us and give us a damn minute, shit!" Bella snarks. That's my girl, not taking any shit from this douche bag. He just harrumphs and turns away.

"I'll be back in five minutes to make sure you're gone. If you're still here I'll call the police." he says and I notice that it says security on the back of his shirt.

Bella just laughs as I walk us out of the pool with her still clinging to me. I drop her down by our pile of clothes and my dick gets caught between her thighs as she slides her legs down from my waist. I grunt and bend my knees so she doesn't bend my cock too far in the wrong direction. She spreads her legs, takes a step back and thankfully my cock springs free.

"Sorry" She says with an apologetic grimace on her face.

"It's alright." I say as I grip my length and feel it pulse from the attention of my hand. "All is well." I say, releasing the breath I didn't realize I was holding in. I hear her breath hitch and look up at her. She is staring intently at my hand wrapped around my cock and unconsciously licks her lips.

"Fucking hell HB! Get dressed before the rent-a-cop comes back to find me humping you right here on one these lounge chairs, cause if you keep staring at my cock like that I will not hesitate to pounce on your fine ass." I tell her.

She turns around and bends over, much to the delight of my dick, and grabs her shorts, slipping them on. She then grabs the corset and pulls it together only hooking a few of the center eye hooks, enough to cover and contain her tits. I'm staring and still gripping my cock when she clears her throat.

"Hurry the fuck up Wardo! I'm not going to jail tonight." She tells me while tapping her now Van clad foot on the ground.

I snap out of my lust induced haze and grab my jeans. I manage to pull them up and get them buttoned. I don't bother with my tee shirt and just slide my arms into the sleeves of my button up, not buttoning it, and slip my feet into my Nike's, sans socks. At this point I wonder where my boxers are. I look around in a circle and I finally spot them floating in the middle of the pool.

"Well shit!" I say and run my hands through my still dripping hair.

"Maybe they have one of those skimmer things we can use to get them?" Bella asks.

"No they keep all the pool supplies locked up in the storage closet. Oh fuck it! Let's just go." I say as I grab her hand and tow her behind me out of the pool. I see the security guard standing to the side of his golf cart, leaning up against it while looking at something on his phone. He looks up at us as we approach him and I just smirk and wave at him to which he responds with a head shake.

I turn and grab Bella, hoisting her up so she can wrap her legs around me again. I start kissing her, still with as much passion as before, before we were so rudely interrupted. I'm not watching where I'm walking and end up running into the side of a parked car. I take advantage and use the leverage of the truck bed to grind myself into Bella's sweet spot. She moans in delight and tightens her grip around my shoulders.

She pulls back a bit and breathlessly whispers, "Get me to your apartment Wardo, like right the fuck now!"

I push off the truck and head in the direction of my apartment with a renewed sense of carnal determination. I must have her, I need to have her and, fuck me, I will have her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: LOVE LOVE LOVE! Did you love it as much as me? OK, I'm gonna proposition you all cause I'm a h00r like that. As of Thursday afternoon, 9/22, LFN had 124 reviews, which is AWESOME. Now, next chapter is the one I'm guessing that most of you have been waiting for, so, if I get at least 51 reviews for this chapter, that will put me at 175, between today, Friday 9/23, and Tuesday 9/27, I'll post chapter 13 on Wednesday morning instead of Friday afternoon. Challenge accepted? I guess I shall see. *insert evil laugh here* **

**This week's rec is Diamond in the Rough by lmlx8. I've gotten behind on some of my WIP's because of my fantastic new writing and betaing responsibilities, and am about 2 or 3 chapters behind on this one but this story is fantastic and one of my all time favorites so far. It is BDSM in theme, so don't read if you don't like.**

_**Bella is coming from a bad marriage that haunts her. After receiving her Masters in Psychology she begins to embrace her submissive nature, she finds herself drawn to Edward's Dominating character. He wants to help her find a place of peace at his feet.**_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com <strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	14. Chapter 13  Don't Need Candles and Cake

**A/N: EPIC review fail! LOL! Just messin'! I did get 20 reviews which is higher than normal, so thanks for that. EPIC review response fail on my part, sorry about that, but know that I read and appreciate every single one of them. I'll get back on track with this update, I promise. Well I'll be brief here as I'm sure you all want to get to the good stuff. I finally earn my M rating here, so pucker up baby! **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to LovinRob and DannysMom for being the best beta babe's a gal could ask for. Flove you both!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 13 - Don't Need Candles and Cake<p>

BIRTHDAY SEX  
>By Jeremih<p>

We grindin with passion, 'cause it's your birthday  
>Been at it for hours, I know you thirsty<br>You kiss me so sweetly, taste just like Hershey's  
>Just tell me how you want your gift, girl<p>

Girl you know I-I-I, Girl you know I-I-I  
>I been feenin,<br>Wake up in the late night  
>Been dreamin bout your loving, girl<br>Girl you know I-I-I, Girl you know I-I-I  
>Don't need candles and cake<br>Just need your body to make  
>Birthday sex… Birthday sex ooh<br>(It's the best day of the year girl)  
>Birthday sex… Birthday sex ooh<br>(G-spot g-spot let me hit that g-spot g-spot girl)

* * *

><p>Saturday 3-4am<p>

We stumble through my front door. Her hair is dripping all over the goddamn place but I couldn't give a flying fuck right now. Her tongue is in my mouth, battling for dominance with my own. Her legs are wrapped around my waist and she has one hand in my hair and one hand down the back of my jeans grabbing my ass. I have one arm under her ass and the other wrapped tightly up and around her shoulder to keep her in place. I lean my shoulder up against the wall going down the hall towards my bedroom otherwise I'm afraid I would topple over and hurt Bella, or myself, or both of us and then there would be no birthday sex for me and that would just be tragic.

"Edward, please! Please hurry! I'll die if your cock is not inside me in like 5 seconds! Oh god!" Bella gasps out into my neck, followed by little nibbles that move up to my ear lobe.

"Shit Bella! I'm trying to go as fast as I can!" I pant out.

I finally reach my bedroom and I unceremoniously toss her into the center of my bed. I rip my button up off and toss it behind me somewhere.

"Get naked HB." I demand

I watched her pull her skimpy little shorts down her legs, followed by that lacey scrap of fabric she considers underwear and then she sits up and starts undoing the corset. This only takes a second because she only attached 3 or 4 of the hooks when we were scrambling to get dressed. And even though I've already seen her mostly naked I'm struck dumb, again. She is fucking magnificent.

"Jesus, you're fucking beautiful." I tell her, in awe.

"Edward, I need you, touch me! Please, fuck me!" She wantonly pleads with me as she's running her hands up and down her body.

Now, trying to pull jeans off of wet legs is no easy task. I have them down around my knees and I'm trying to pull one foot free but seeing as how they are stuck to my calves and I'm currently still three sheets to the wind I end up face planting onto the bed. And now Bella is laughing hysterically at me.

"Shut the fuck up Honey Bee! If you want to get up on my cock you could help me you know. Shit!" I say, laughing to show her that I'm not really angry.

I feel her hands on my shoulders pushing me onto my back. Once I'm on my back she stands in front of me, gloriously naked, and grabs both my feet and sets them on her stomach. She pulls each foot free from the confines of my jeans and then let's each foot drop to the floor. She follows suit and drops to her knees and I immediately pop up on my elbows to see if she's going to do what I think she's going to do. She drags her hands from my ankles up to my calves, my knees, my thighs, up to my hips and then inward. She takes the base of my cock in one hand and just stares at it. Having someone just stare at my piece makes me feel kind of weird and uncomfortable, and small, which I'm not by the way.

"Seriously Edwardo, you have the most beautiful cock I've ever laid eyes on. It's perfect." She trails her pointer finger of her free hand in the indentations of my abdominal muscles, and continues to stare.

What does one say to that kind of compliment?

"_Thanks?" _No.

"_I know right?" _No.

"_That's what she said?" _Maybe.

"_Didn't your mother teach you not to stare, it's rude?" _Definitely not.

"_You're not the first person to tell me that?" _Hell no!

In my moment of speechlessness, she takes me into her mouth.

"Ohhhhhh, fuuuuuuuck!" gurgles out of my mouth and I slump back down on the bed as my arms give out.

Bella continues her assault on my dick, using the perfect amount of teeth and hollow cheeks and tongue and sucking extra hard on the head, licking up the vein on the underside and around the tip, like a lollipop. Great, damn you Lil Wayne, now that song will be stuck in my head. She runs her hand up and down in time with her mouth. She takes me all the way in to the back of her throat and she gags, and that shit is fucking hot.

"God damn HB, that's so fucking hot! Do it again." I beg.

She moans and drops her mouth back down onto my cock and gags again, but holds herself there. She swallows around me and I almost lose my shit right then. I yank her off my Johnson by her hair. She's drooling all over my nuts and now she's just jerking me off and giving me her lusty eyes and I really just want to shoot my jizz all over her face, but I'm drunk and if I cum on her face there will be no birthday sex for me and, again, that would just be tragic.

I grab her face and pull her up towards me. I moan as her little body rubs along the length of mine. I pull her in for a kiss and grab each of her thighs so that she is straddling me. And jesusmotherfuckmesideways if she doesn't immediately grind her pussy down onto my dick in the most wicked circle and pop motion. Circle and pop, circle and pop and my eyes roll back in my head. And it's very moist and warm down there and my dick likes moisture and warmth so he is straining upwards trying to sheath himself within that little piece of heaven.

"Condom Edward, need a condom now. Where are they?" she asks.

"Motherfucker! They're in the bathroom." I scoot her off of me and run back down the hall into the bathroom and grab the condoms out of the medicine cabinet. When I return Bella is in hysterics again.

"What the fuck HB? Why are you always laughing at me?" I want to know, even though I'm secretly thrilled that I can make her laugh like that.

"I could hear your cock slapping your stomach the whole way there and back!" she gasps out between her very unladylike guffaws. Then she snorts.

"Did you just snort Honey Bee?" I say, deadpan.

This causes us both to fall into a fit of giggles. Yes I'm giggling, fuck off, I'm drunk remember? I mentally point at my chest. Bella grabs the box out of my hand and raises her eye brow as she looks at me.

"The whole box Edwardo? A little presumptuous aren't we?" She questions with a grin plastered to her face.

"Fuck off Bella! I was trying to hurry back to you, but maybe I'll just roll over and pass out." I start to roll over.

"Well you got a wee little problem there babe." She says pointing to my cock that is still straining to reach her honey pot.

"Wee little? Seriously HB? You wound me. I'll go jack off and I'll be fine. See you in a few." I tell her as I scoot to the edge of the bed.

Bella attaches herself to my back as I sit up and attempt, and fail, to stand. She tells me she's sorry and that my dick is not small and she wants it, she wants it in her pussy and between her tits, and in her mouth again. She wants me to cum on her face and on her chest, and her ass and her back, and in her mouth and on her toes. She's licking and biting my neck the whole time she is drunk whispering, which you may well know is not whispering at all, these naughty things into my ear. She is also rubbing her pussy up and down and all around the small of my back, and my dick is jealous so I grab her and spin her around so she is straddling me again. I slam my lips to hers and we're a hot mess of tongues and teeth and lips and a lot of drool.

I grab a condom out of the box and rip it open. Bella grabs it out of my hand and rolls it down my length. She looks me in the eye as she lowers herself down onto me. She lets out the fucking sexiest guttural moan I've ever heard and her eyes roll back in her head and then her head rolls back too. I can feel her hair tickling my thighs and it feels fucking awesome. I have my arms around her back with my fingers curled over her shoulders, holding her in place. My forehead is resting on her chest and I rub my stubbled chin between her boobs and I'm almost tempted to blow a raspberry in her cleavage, motor boating son of a bitch that I am, but I don't, maybe later.

"Fuck Honey Bee, you're so warm and so wet, so tight, so motherfucking right." When did I turn into such a cheese ball? I guess as long as it is of the Port Wine variety I'm okay with it.

"Oh my god, Jesus, Edward, you feel so fucking good and you aren't even moving yet." She moans out.

"Give me a minute Bella. You feel too good and I'm about to bust a nut already." I tell her, trying to take deep breathes to calm my ass down.

She whimpers and starts to move her hips in little tiny circles. Jesus! I don't stop her even though I'm still on the brink of an orgasm. I just try not to focus on the feeling of her surrounding me. When I feel like I'm a bit more in control I move my hands down and I grip her hips tightly and lift her up slowly. Bella is having none of that slow motion shit though and brings herself all the way up so only my head is just barely inside of her still and then proceeds to slam herself back down on to me. We both groan, loud, like porn star loud. She lifts up and slams down again. Up, slam, up, slam, swivel, up, slam, up, slam, swivel, rinse and repeat. Those swivels are going to kill me. She is using my hair and my ears like her own personal "oh shit" handles and it kind of hurts, but it also kind of feels really fucking good, just kind of intensifies the pleasure. I have her right tit in my mouth, my teeth clamped onto her nipple and my right hand is holding her other breast. My left hand is grabbing her ass while she continues her pounding rhythm.

"Oh fuck, I can feel you. I can feel every delicious vein and ridge of your cock rubbing inside of me. It's so good, so fucking good." She pants out, breathlessly.

I stand up and turn around and lower her to the bed, never breaking our connection. My bed is pretty high off the ground so I only have to bend my knees just a bit and I'm perfectly level with her pussy. I grab her ankles and put them on my shoulders and I hold onto her calves as I start to pump into her at a steady pace. I need to see her taking me in so I grab her knees and push them up and out towards her shoulders. Watching my cock disappear into her pussy and reappear all slick and shiny is probably the most erotic sight I've ever seen. I tear my eyes away from where we are joined and watch her. Her eyes are closed and she has a firm grip on her breasts and she's tweaking her nipples between her thumb and middle finger and it's so sexy to watch her touch herself. Her eyes pop open and find mine and as if she can read my thoughts, she moves her right hand down, down over her stomach and down thru her cute little landing strip of curls and starts to rub tight little circles over her clit. I feel faint all of a sudden.

"Holy Shit HB! That's so sexy, so motherfucking sexy, you have no idea. I hope your close because I don't think I'll be able to stop this time." I plead with her.

"I'm close Edward. I need you to go faster." She says.

I place Bella's feet flat on the bed right below her ass and I grip her inner thighs. I pick up the pace and after half a dozen more thrusts Bella's back arches completely off the bed and she lets out a little grunt and has her teeth clenched and her pussy is clenched and she gives me lusty eyes again and I'm fucking toast. I cum so hard that I lose my sight for a minute and I can't hear shit except for my heart pounding and my blood pumping and I think I might die by orgasm. I lurch forward and barely manage to catch myself before I dead weight onto Bella. She wiggles herself up onto the bed the correct way, top to bottom instead of side to side, and attempts to pull me with her and I attempt to let her. I crawl up onto my knees and pull the condom off of me and tie it in a knot and just toss it off the side of the bed. I get what I've now dubbed "the HB eyebrow" and just shrug in response before falling onto my side next to her. I look at her and she's looking at me with the cutest little smirk playing on her lips, it almost seems shy.

"What?" I ask her with my own signature smirk in place.

"That was... I don't think there is a term that will suitably describe what I just experienced with you. It was amazing. Thank you." She rolls over onto her side to face me and places a sweet, gentle kiss on my lips, one on my nose, one on each cheek and each eye lid and my forehead. She then tucks herself into my neck and sighs, "Happy Birthday Edward."

"It was extraordinary, just like you, my little Honey Bee." She giggles quietly and nestles herself further into my neck and I kiss her head and wrap my arms around her, holding her to me tightly, "Thanks for the best birthday ever and the best birthday sex too."

Now, I'm usually the type that will toss and turn for an hour before I finally fall asleep, but that is not the case this night. I'm out immediately. I'm not sure whether it is because I'm still mostly drunk, or because I just had mind blowing sex, or because I have an amazing woman sleeping in my arms. I would bet a combination of all three would be the culprit but you won't hear me complain.

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><p><strong>AN: So, I popped my lemon writing cherry. Did it *ahem* rise to the occasion? Well I enjoyed writing it, so I hope you all enjoyed reading it. I'm not feeling very wordy today, so… Leave me some of yours instead. Mwah!**

**This week's rec is from MandyLeigh87. It's called Dead Man Walking. It's a short story and a quick read, but it's very good.**

_**When graduate student Isabella Swan decides to write her final paper on death row inmate Edward Masen, she promises her mother she won't get too involved. She couldn't have been more wrong. Rated M for language, content. B/E Mini Fic**_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com <strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	15. Chapter 14 She Put Her Body On Me

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed in honor of my first lemon. I really appreciate it. Most of you probably got a couple responses from me yesterday. I'm writing a one shot and had to force myself to stop writing so that I could respond to you all. LOL! Well we've come full circle from the prologue peeps! That's all I got. See you at the bottom.**

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds. There is some citrus delight in this chapter.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**My lovelies LovinRob and DannysMom help make this pretty. Mwah! Any ugly left over is all mine.**

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><p>Chapter 14 - She Put Her Body On Me<p>

BLAME IT  
>By Jamie Foxx<p>

You can blame it on the Goose, got you feelin' loose  
>Blame it on the Tron, got you in the zone<br>Blame it on the al al al al al alcohol (blame it on the al al al al al alcohol)  
>Blame it on the Vodka<br>Blame it on the Henney  
>Blame it on the Blue Top, gotcha feelin' dizzy<br>Blame it on the al al al al al alcohol, blame it on the alcohol

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><p>Saturday, 9-10am<p>

I'm dead. I have to be dead. There can be no other reason for me to feel this shitty. I must have sold my soul to the devil himself last night. It feels like Jasper took his Louisville Slugger to my skull, many times, and hard. I think I have those little seafood forks stuck into each one of my eyes. My mouth, oh god, my mouth tastes like a mixture of whipped cream and beer and kitty litter. I smack my lips together and try to swish some saliva around in an attempt to rid my mouth of the fields of cotton that have sprouted in there over night, to no avail.

My body feels like I've been whipped into submission by the most dominating dominatrix ever to dominate, not that I'd actually know what that feels like, but I have a pretty vivid imagination and I read fan fiction, don't judge, so I can imagine this is what that feels like. My muscles are achy and coiled tight and I'm afraid that if I move, well, if I move a muscle, they will snap and shoot off like a rubber band. I hate rubber bands, those things hurt like a son of a bitch when you get snapped with one. My left shoulder is covered with a bruise or some sort of rash or, rug burn?

I think I may have lost my right arm in some sort of death match last night as I can no longer feel the extremity. It's just a lump under my stomach now. I'm slightly freaked out about this, because how will I jack off now, never mind all the other shit I do with my right hand, like write and smoke and shift and swing a golf club. I've tried to rub one out with my left hand before and that shit just doesn't work, at all. Shit! I manage to pull the lump out from under my stomach and almost instantly regret it. It feels like it's being electrocuted and I almost wish I left it as a useless lump, because that tingly, knife stabbing, electrocution feeling of bringing a sleeping limb back to life, is so not worth it. One plus though is that at least I'll be able to jack off still. I groan. I'm still not ready to open my eyes yet and I think those little forks are preventing me from doing so anyway, so I decide to take stock of myself blindly.

I'm alive, barely. I'm fairly certain that I'm in my own bed. The mattress feels familiar and I can smell my lavender dryer sheets on the pillow that I am currently face down on. How did I get home though? I try to remember what happened last night. My brain has turned into the consistency of a Jamba Juice smoothie because of the multiple swings of the Slugger that I'm convinced I took at some point within the last 24 hours, so trying to recollect anything is difficult and it hurts, badly.

So, I got off work, check. I came home, shit, shaved and bathed, check. Jasper and Emmett met me here, check. Wait, I have a faint recollection of Emmett dancing in my living room in his underwear. I try to shake that thought out of my brain and, HOLY SHIT, head shaking and smoothie brains don't blend well. I want my mommy! We went out to dinner, check. We went to the club in Chandler, check. This is where things start to get fuzzy.

Was Alice there? I can remember someone who looked a lot like her all over my brother. I remember blonde hair and big tits and Emmett all up on that shit like a fat kid in a candy store. I remember mahogany hair and sun kissed perfection and I was like the moth to her flame. There was some drinking, and some more drinking, and drinking some more. I remember dancing and grinding and grinding and dancing and... Well shit, where did the rest of my night go.

I rolled over onto my back and stretched my arms out, both of them, since the dead lump is now back in business, mostly anyway, I still don't have a lot of control over its actions and it was really fucking heavy. I managed to pull it over my body but it flew, out of control, the rest of the way out and away from my body, fast and heavy, and ended up smashing into a face, a face too smooth to be Emmett's. And there is hair, a lot of hair, too much to be Jasper's unruly mop. Now, I don't make a habit of touching my brother's hair or my best friends face, these are just general observations.

The smash to the side of the face caused my mystery sleeping companion to roll over and snuggle into my neck. Then there is a naked leg slung over my waist. Then I realize that I am naked as well. What the fuck? All of this had occurred and I still haven't even opened my fucking eyes yet! I crack one eye open and immediately realize that I didn't shut my blinds last night as the sun streaming in the window makes it feel like someone is trying to gouge my eyes out with a grapefruit spoon. I turn my face away from the window and into mystery woman's hair. She smells heavenly, like sex and sin, caramel chocolate and whipped cream. What the fuck did we do with whipped cream last night? I gag just a little and my stomach churns. I fucking hate whipped cream, unless it's in the form of a bikini.

"Mmmmm," mystery girl moans and there is now an arm on my chest and warm little fingers playing with the little bit of chest hair that I proudly possess. Instinctively, I bring my arm around her and draw her closer to me. My dick is obviously not suffering the consequences of this hangover and is happily hard and ready for another go round with this girl. There is a small kiss on my neck and I swear she licks me too. She giggles and starts to sing in a sleepy, raspy voice;

_"Last Friday night  
>Yeah we danced on table tops<br>and we took too many shots  
>Think we kissed but I forgot."<em>

"You smell like a mini bar, Edwardo."

"Ditto, Honey Bee."

Lightning strikes. Suddenly the rest of the night comes back into focus, like someone flipped on a light, illuminating all the dark scary corners and some of them are scary as fuck. The images flicker through my mind like I'm looking into one of those View-Master's I played with as a kid. Whipped cream flavored vodka, flick and spin; Justin Bieber, flick and spin; skinny dipping, flick and spin; and Birthday Sex, flick and spin!

Holy fucking shit!

She still has her face snuggled into my neck. I grab a fist full of her hair and pull her head back. She has mascara smeared all over her face and her chin looks like it's been rubbed over with sand paper and, fuck me, she is fucking beautiful. I smash my lips to hers. I figured that we already had sex, we're both still naked and I'm hard so why not. She responds by rolling over on top of me and sits up, the head of my cock peeking out from between her legs. She slides up and down my length which causes me to groan because it feels superb. She smirks at me and pinches my nipple, then rolls the barbell around.

"Edwardo, I remember a lot of last night, but I think I need reminding of what occurred in this bed. You're cock is obviously more than willing but what do you want?" she says as she continues to shamelessly rub herself up and down on me with her goddamn bottom lip tucked tightly behind her teeth.

"Honey Bee, I don't know what your plans were for the day but you will be clearing your schedule because we are not leaving this bed." I tell her.

"Oh fuck yes! How do you want me baby?" She asks.

I grab her hips to slow her roll and lift her so that my cock stands up, tall and proud. The infamous box of condoms managed to stay on the bed so she pulls one out and rips the package open. I raise my eyebrows and smirk at her.

"What?" she asks.

"Are you going to admit that bringing the whole box of condoms back with me last night was a good idea?" I ask.

"No." She deadpans.

"No? If I didn't then where would we be now?" I wonder.

"You'd be running down the hall again, mushroom printing your stomach the whole way!" she laughs.

"Bitch!" I whine.

She just grins at me and wraps her hand around the base of my dick and rolls the condom on with her other hand before she slowly slides herself all the way down. Jesus fuck, she's tight, I feel like my dick has been vacuum sealed inside of her and it feels unreal. I run my left hand up over her stomach and then over her breast and I give her nipple a little tweak, cause it's right there and I can, and then I slide my hand behind her neck and pull her down, bringing her lips to mine. She starts to lift herself up, doing these little tiny thrusts that, while they feel good, are not providing the required amount of friction to achieve an orgasm in this century.

"Hold still HB. I want to try something." I say.

She stills and I bend my knees behind her, planting my feet flat on the mattress. I grab onto her ass cheeks to hold her in place and using my feet for leverage I thrust up into her, and holy shit, does that feel good, so I tell her so.

"Holy Shit HB. You have the most amazing pussy. I swear it was made with my cock specifically in mind." I say between breathy moans.

She lets out this high pitched keening sound and I stop, thinking I'm hurting her.

"Don't you dare stop Edward Masen, don't you dare motherfucking stop if you value your life or the life of your cock!" she all but screams at me.

Oooookay. Guess I'm not hurting her so I resume my upward thrusting motions. We continue this way for another few minutes or so, but my calves are burning and my abdominal muscles are burning and it's getting really difficult to maintain any sort of rhythm. Despite all the burning, it still feels fanfuckingtastic and I'm loath to stop, but I don't think I can pop one out this way. So I slow to a stop.

"Oww, what the fuck Honey Bee?" She fucking bit me.

"I told you not to stop!" she whines and I swear she growls at me.

"Chillax HB. That particular motion of the ocean requires more exertion than I can provide at this particular point in my life. I'm still half in the bag and hung over at the same time. Cut me some fucking slack here." I tell her.

She sits up and pouts. She actually sticks her bottom lip out and pouts, like I took her favorite toy away. Well, I guess I may have done just that. That thought makes me smile.

"Get off HB." I tell her.

"I was trying, until you stopped." She whines.

"Ha. Ha." I bark out sarcastically.

"I want you to lie on your side, facing away from me." I say.

She moves off of me and flops down on the mattress next to me. I roll onto my side and pull her into my chest. I grab her thigh and lift her leg up, opening her up for me. I'm able to slide right in and set a slow, perfect amount of friction to achieve orgasm quickly, rhythm.

"Oh fuck, fuck, please," Bella begs.

"Please what HB?" I want her to tell me.

"Touch me E-Baby, please touch me. I need more." She says and I love that she isn't afraid to ask for what she wants.

"I need you to hold your leg for me, babe."

Bella grabs underneath her knee and hikes her leg higher up which causes me to slide even deeper into her.

"Oh shit that feels incredible!" I manage to grunt out.

I sling my arm over her thigh and lay my fingers flat across her clit and rub side to side, fast and hard. Bella's breathing picks up immediately and I can feel her walls start to tighten around me.

"Come for me Honey Bee." I bite down on the meaty flesh located between her neck and shoulder. This, in conjunction with my whispered words, causes her to fall over the edge.

"AHHHHH, Edward!"

Her pussy walls clamp down on me so tightly that I never even stood a chance. I managed one more thrust before I was coming.

"Jesus Christ Bella! You're going to kill me. I can't fucking breathe." She just giggles at me and I place a soft kiss between her shoulder blades, over a cupcake tattoo. Hmm, how did I not notice this before? I think a more thorough investigation of her body is in order to see what else I may have missed in our drunken stupor last night.

Bella rolls over and we just stare at each other for a moment before we both start laughing and lean in for a kiss, knocking foreheads and smashing noses in the process. After a few, less than innocent kisses I pull away.

"What the fuck happened last night?"

Bella just shrugs, "I don't know, but you can blame it on the alcohol. Now let's take a shower."

She doesn't have to tell me twice, as I leap out of bed, dragging her with me towards my bathroom.

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><p><strong>AN: Well there you have it, round two. A few of you have mentioned a BPOV outtake. I'm considering it, but I'd like to know what portion of the story you'd like to see from her POV. Leave me a review and let me know. If I do it, it will be after the completion of this story, so December-ish.**

**I've been craving lots and lots of Darkvampward recently for some reason. Ask my beta's because I can't STFU about it so this week's recommendation is just that, a horror fic. I dug around and came across this little gem. It's called Lions Eat Lambs by Raggdoll of Twilight and it definitely scratched that itch, for a little while at least. LOL!**

_**A camping expedition goes awry when Bella's friends disappear. While searching for them, she stumbles upon the manor of Edward Cullen, unaware that she is about to become a pawn in his dangerous game - a game she can't afford to lose. AU/OOC/V&H**_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com <strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	16. Chapter 15 From Your Head To Your Toes

**A/N: So, we're moving right along here folks. Remember Wardo's fantasy in the shower yesterday? This is SO much better than that! That's all I'm sayin', mmmmkay? THANK YOU to all who read and review. Eskimo kisses to you all, but let's pretend that they are from Rob. Wouldn't that be dreamy? Sigh… I love that man's nose. **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds. There is some citrus delight in this chapter.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**LR & DM – For supporting my infatuation with a certain "loofah", and for making this gobbledygook purty! LOL!**

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><p>Chapter 15 – From Your Head to Your Toes<p>

What's Your Fantasy  
>by Ludacris<p>

I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from yo' head to yo' toes  
>And I wanna, move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'<br>Then I wanna, ahh ahh - you make it so good I don't wanna leave  
>But I gotta, kn-kn-kn-know what-what's your fan-ta-ta-sy<p>

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><p>Saturday 10-11am<p>

I've started the water and have distracted myself with making out with HB while we wait for it to heat up, the water, not us, we are plenty heated up. I have come to the conclusion that I am an ass man, at least for HB's ass because I cannot keep my hands off of it. It's perfectly plump and ripe for a good squeeze. I think she enjoys it too seeing how she is moaning pornographically into my mouth at the moment.

I slow my kisses and my grinding on her stomach so that I can pull the curtain back on the tub and step into the shower, helping her in behind me. I seal us in because I hate even the slightest bit of draft while I'm showering, it makes my nuts shrivel. I pull her in front of me so that the water is beating down on her back. I watch, slack jawed, as the water streams over her body. I move my hands up and wrap my fingers around the back of her neck and place my thumbs on her jaw. I push my thumbs up and her head tilts back into the flow of water, just enough to saturate her hair.

She tilts her head back a little bit more on her own and lets the water pour onto her face before pulling her face back forward. She then uses her hands as a squeegee and wipes the excess water from her face. She looks like a raccoon and I can't help but crack a smile at her. She just smiles back at me, without a care in the world about the makeup running down her face or the fact that we haven't brushed our teeth yet. Is fifteen hours too soon to tell her I love her?

"Can I wash your hair Honey Bee?" I ask her, already breathing heavily.

"Sure" she says.

While she's turning around she unconsciously, maybe, grazes my cock with one of her ass cheeks and stops right when I'm settled in the crevice between both cheeks. I groan, dropping my head onto her shoulder and grab her hips pulling her into me. She reaches back, grips onto my thighs and just giggles and wiggles; she-devil that she is. I leave my dick nestled right where it is as I reach behind me and grab my bottle of shampoo. I squirt a generous amount into my palm before rubbing my hands together. I bring my hands to HB's hair and start to lather it up. She's humming as I massage her scalp and is digging her fingers into my thighs.

"You should be a hairdresser Wardo." She says, failing at keeping her amusement at bay.

"Fuck off, HB." I tell her, reaching up to pull the shower head down.

"Head back baby." I tell her.

She leans her head back, resting it on my chest, and I lean down and gently kiss her nose. I let the water run down and over her head, making sure to keep the suds out of her face. I run my free hand through the strands to be sure that I got all of the shampoo out.

"Conditioner?" I ask her.

"Yes please." She says, nodding her head excitedly.

I scoop some out of the tub and start to rub it into her hair. Her hair is so long that it takes another scoop and several minutes of running my fingers through it to get it fully saturated with the conditioner. She just stands there so I grab my peppermint body wash and poof. What? It tingles.

After I squeeze some out onto the poof I move it to Bella's back. She jumps, so much so that I think she may have dozed off while standing there.

"You alright HB?" I ask with a laugh threatening to break free.

She lets loose a huge yawn that makes her whole body shake with the force of it. She smacks her lips together and turns her head to me and smiles, saying only, "mmm hmm" in response.

"Well this will wake you up." I whisper, kissing underneath her ear.

I bring the poof back to her body and start to move it over her shoulders and back. I kneel down and start to run it over her thighs and her calves. I lightly knock the back of her knee. She somehow knows what I want and lifts her foot up so I can wash it. She repeats this with the other foot and when I'm done I can't help myself and bite her right ass cheek. Then I proceed to spit and splutter because as much as I love my body wash, it tastes fucking nasty.

HB laughs at me and turns around to face me and her treasure chest is right at eye level with me. I nuzzle my nose into her pubes and she giggles. I bring the poof back to her body, ankles, shins, knees, thighs, candy, up her stomach and around her breasts. I start to stand back up but she pushes on my shoulders to keep me on my knees.

"Let me wash your hair Wardo." she tells me as she reaches for the shampoo.

I stay on my knees as she starts to massage the shampoo into my hair. Now I understand why she was dozing off when I was washing her hair, because that shit feels fanfuckingtastic.

She pulls my head back by gripping onto my hair and rinses the shampoo out with the handheld shower head, then squirts it right over my face making water go up nose, therefore making me cough like mad. Bitch.

"What the fuck Honey Bee?"

"Sorry, couldn't help it." She says as she smiles down at me. She then reaches for the poof that's still in my hand.

"Can I?" She asks shyly.

"Shit yes!" I say, practically throwing it at her.

After squeezing some of the body wash onto the poof she runs it slowly over my shoulders and chest and upper back. She lifts each of my arms and does my armpits, making me laugh because it tickles, and the length of each arm.

"Stand up E-Baby." She says and I groan as I rise because my knees are screaming at me in protest.

She continues washing me, my stomach and lower back and my ass but she stays away from my dick, much to my chagrin. Then she drops to her knees and starts working her way up from my feet, ankles, calves, thighs, but still no cock.

I have my head tilted back, just enjoying the feel of her soapy hands running all over my body. My cock is at full mast and I don't understand how she can ignore it. All of sudden my knees buckle and I practically pull the shower curtain down before I regain my balance.

"Fucking shit HB!" I say as I look down at her. She has my cock in her mouth and her hand is fondling my balls. This is way better than my fantasy blowjob from yesterday. Let's just hope I can last longer than I did then. I've already cum twice in the last 5 hours so it shouldn't be a problem.

"Noooooooo..." I whine when she pops off of me.

"I want you to fuck my face Wardo." She tells me.

I trail my noooooo into a yesssss and grab my cock in my right hand and her hair in my left. She wraps her arms around my knees and opens her mouth while looking up at me.

"Fuck HB, you're so beautiful with your pretty, pink little mouth open and ready for me." I say as I rub my head back and forth across her kiss swollen lips.

She kisses my tip before opening up again. I slowly push inside. I take it easy on her and only push in about halfway before pulling out again. I do this a few times and it feels good, but it's not enough. She must be able to sense this because on my next thrust in she moves her head forward, taking me all the way in.

"Fuuuuuccccckkkkk!" I say as I look down and can't see even a centimeter of my cock. She's pretty much kissing my stomach.

She takes my hands and places them on each side of her face and starts to move her head a little. I can take a hint and hold her head steady as I start to thrust into her mouth. She sucks cock like a pro and instead of thinking about how much practice she may have had before me I just watch myself slide in and out of her.

She's watching me watching her and she starts to moan and hum around me and that takes me another step towards cumming. I want to cum in her mouth but I think I'd rather spray it all over tits. She sucks her cheeks in tighter and curls her tongue around the underside of my shaft and applies more pressure and I'm so there.

I pull out quickly and grab onto my cock, giving it a few quick tugs and I shoot my load all over her chest and some even lands on her bottom lip. I think may have another small orgasm when I see her lick it off. I lean into the wall and rest my head on my forearm, trying to catch my breath.

"I'm not complaining HB, but what the fuck was that?" I pant out.

"Did you like it?" She asks excitedly.

"Like it? I fucking loved it!" I say, tamping down the rising jealousy.

She starts to jump and clap in excitement, while saying "Yesssss!" I'm surprised she's not fist pumping in the air. Then she slips and knocks her head on my collarbone, but I wrap my arm around her waist before she can actually fall.

"Ow! Shit! Jesus Bella! Are you okay?" I ask her.

"Sorry, I'm fine." She says, rubbing the newly formed red welt on her forehead.

"What's with all the jumping?" I want to know.

"Umm..." She says, and she actually fucking blushes.

"Well, that's only the second time I've really sucked cock before. I'm not counting last night because I only did it for a minute. So, I'm excited that I was able to give you an orgasm." She tells me as she's watching the water swirl down the drain.

"No way! That's not possible." I say to her as I push up on her chin so she has to look at me.

"The first time was rather traumatic for me, so I refused to even consider doing it for years. Then when I told the girls that I didn't do it, they put Operation Bella Blowjob into action. It was like school. I read about it magazines and books, watched porn, lots and lots of porn and practiced with dildos. And you're the first guy I actually wanted to give a blowjob to, so..." She trails off and I can just imagine what my face must look like.

I smash my lips to hers and rub my cock against her slick stomach, and yes, I'm hard again. Thinking about HB watching porn and sucking on dildos will do that to me apparently.

"You must remind me to thank Rosalie and Alice because that was, by far, the most amazing blowjob I have ever had the pleasure of receiving. Thank you!" I tell her, before kissing her again. I can feel the water start to cool just as we start heating up again. This woman makes me an insatiable sex fiend and I love it.

"Get out HB." I tell her, placing my hand over hers on my cock.

"Why?" She asks, while trying to pry my hand off of hers.

"Because the water is already getting cold and I don't fancy having freezing assed cold water run over my body as I fuck you. So, get out." I say, smirking against her lips.

Before I can register what is happening, she is out of the shower and I'm left standing there with a loose grip on my dick. I turn the water off and pull the shower curtain back. The sight that greets me leaves me breathless. Bella is sitting on the counter, leaning back against the mirror with her heels pulled up onto the edge of the counter, leaving her spread open for me. And she is gently running her fingers through her folds.

"Fuck me." I manage to say before my toes hit the edge of the tub and I fall forward out onto the floor.

**A/N: Hahahahahahahahah! What am I gonna do with these two? They are a mess! So… Was this better than the fantasy BJ? I need more thoughts on a HBPOV. Keep the suggestions coming for what you want to see from her POV.**

**Recommendation this week is a short and sweet little slash fic. Move along if it's not your thing. It's called Sixty Five Hours by owenic. It's amazing!**

_**Jasper and Edward are Advertising Executives and have Sixty Five Hours to pull together the campaign of their careers. Sixty Five Hours to get along. Sixty Five Hours to not kill each other. Sixty Five Hours to fall in love. AH JxE Slash. Rated M**_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com <strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	17. Chapter 16 – I Work Out

**A/N: So, we last left Wardo as he was tumbling out of the shower. Let's see what happens now shall we? The beginning of this chapter is dedicated to avidreader69, who had me tumbling out of my chair with her review of last chapter. I have an EPIC author's note at the bottom, so I'll cease and desist with the chit chat up here and see you at the bottom.**

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**As always, much love to my betas, LovinRob and DannysMom for helping with everything. This chapter would have been lame without them.**

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><p>Chapter 16 – I Work Out<p>

Sexy and I Know It  
>by LMFAO<p>

When I walk in the spot, this is what I see  
>Everybody stops and they staring at me<br>I got a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it

I'm sexy and I know it

When I'm at the mall, security just can't fight them all  
>When I'm at the beach, I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks<br>This is how I roll, come on ladies it's time to go  
>We head into the bar, baby don't be nervous<br>No shoes, no shirt, and I still get service

Girl look at that bod_y_  
>I work out<p>

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><p>Saturday 11-12am<p>

"Oh Shit! E-Baby, are you ok?" I hear Bella say.

In my mind, I'm thinking that it would have been more prudent if whoever built these apartments would have put the sink facing the tub because then I would have landed face first in HB's pleasure pouch, and that would have been fucking awesome. My mouth waters a bit just thinking about it. I just groan and sit back on my heels. Fucking bathtub, fucking toes! I'm never drinking again, it fucks with my equilibrium.

"I'm good HB." I tell her, realizing that she is still spread open for me on the counter.

I turn on my knees to face her and crawl in between her thighs. I'm face to face, err, face to pussy? Whatever. I take a minute to enjoy the gloriousness that is HB and decide that I need to taste her, to taste the fluid that is seeping from her. I take a long, slow lick from bottom to top, circling her clit with the tip of my tongue. Now, I'm not going to say that she tastes like candy and sunshine, because that shit is false on all accounts. She tastes like pussy. And that can either be bad or good depending on your taste preferences, but for me, she's good. Not too pungent and just a bit salty. I lavish her with more licking and suck her clit into my mouth. She's yanking on my hair and grinding on my face.

"Oh fuck Wardo! Don't stop, but use your fingers too, E-Baby." She begs me.

I suck her clit into my mouth as I slide two fingers into her. Her thighs are shaking and I know this because she has them clamped down around my head rather tightly. She still has a death grip on my hair and she's using her heels on the counter as leverage to push and swivel her pussy harder onto my face. I can feel her internal muscles start to contract and then she's cursing out a slew of words that make no sense to me.

"Oh, fuh… gah dah… frack… hmmm… mmm… shiiii… word…"

I smile smugly as I stand up. I don't ask, I just move in between her legs and slide myself right into her.

"Oh God Wardo! I can't get enough of you. You're cock is mine baby." She tells me.

"All yours, baby." I agree with her, because it's the absolute motherfucking truth.

She's holding herself up on one elbow and places her other hand at her entrance, making a v with her fingers. I can feel them rubbing the sides of my cock with every push and pull. It feels awesome. I lean forward and kiss her, then just rest my forehead on hers, watching as I glide in and out of her. From this angle she can watch too, which she is.

"Oh god, that's sexy." She says, breathing hard.

"It's all you HB, all you. Oh fuck!" I tell her, because she is sex personified.

"I wanna watch in the mirror. I wanna watch you fucking me Wardo. Please…" She's begging me and I like it, a lot.

But she doesn't have to tell me twice. I pull out of her and lift her off the counter, turning her around. I push her chest down onto the counter and push myself into her. It feels so good, too good and I finally realize why.

"Fuck!" I say, stopping my thrusts.

"What?" She asks, looking over her shoulder at me.

"No condom." I say, stepping back from her so I can go get the box from my bedroom.

"I'm covered Edward. I have an IUD and I trust you. It's okay with me if you want to go bare." She tells me as she grabs my forearm pulling me back to her.

"You're sure Bella?" I need to know she is absolutely positive before I can even consider this.

"Fuck yes! Your bare cock feels amazing." She says, bending back over the counter.

"Ok." I say, gripping her hips and pushing my way back into her.

I can't pull my eyes from her ass. I love how her cheeks jiggle every time I thrust into her. Jesus H! Without thinking I smack one of her cheeks, a bit harder than I intended. I freeze when I hear the sharp intake of her breath. I look up at her and see her eyes are black with lust and her mouth is open.

"Sorry." I say, shrugging.

"It's okay. I liked it, just not so hard okay." She tells me.

She lifts herself up, straightening her arms for support. I bend my knees and pull her back so she is flush against my chest. I wrap my arms around her and start to thrust up into her. We are watching each other in the mirror and even though with the weird angle we can't see our connection, it's still sexy as fuck to watch. I move my fingers down and start to circle her clit and I can feel her clench around me and I know that I'm not going to last much longer. This surprises the shit out of me considering the fact that I have cum more in the past 24 hours than I have in the past month.

She lifts her arms up and wraps them around my neck. I continue my thrusts and rubbing of her clit, and move my other hand to her tit and roll her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. Out of nowhere, it seems, Bella practically dissolves in my arms with the force of her orgasm.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck…" Is all she keeps saying before she throws herself back onto the counter. I grip her hips and push into her hard, once, twice, three times before I cum inside of her. I pull out of her and rest my forehead on her back, trying to catch my breath. She's on her elbows giggling at me.

"Jesus, you're going to kill me Honey Bee." I say, lifting my head off her back and kissing her neck.

She turns in my arms and kisses me good.

"I need another shower." She tells me.

"Why?" I wonder since we just got out of the shower.

"Umm…" Is all she says as she looks down between her legs. I see my cum, and probably some of hers too, dripping down her thighs.

"Shit! That's hot." I say, watching the fluid make its slow descent down her legs.

"Sure, maybe for you." She says, scrunching up her nose. So cute.

So we both get back into the shower and clean off real quick, making sure to keep our hands to ourselves. After we are clean and dried off I ask her if she wants to go get breakfast. Surprisingly, my hangover has vanished fairly quickly, but I'm still fucking starving and a big, greasy, breakfast burrito and a coke sounds killer right now. She agrees but then frowns.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I don't have any clothes. I wonder if our stuff is still at the hotel." She says.

"I…" Is all I get out before there is a knock at my door. I pull on a pair of boxers and some jeans and head to the door. It's Alice and Jasper, the latter of which is carrying a pink and black polka dot suitcase.

"Hey Wardo. I figured Bella would want her stuff this morning. And we're hanging out over here until you're ready to go eat because as much as I love my brother, he is a big fucking baby when he's hung over and I'm sick of listening to him bitch and moan." She tells me.

"Sure thing, Ze." I tell her, taking HB's suitcase to my bedroom.

"The suitcase fairy has arrived with a delivery for my lady." I tell her, setting the ridiculous looking suitcase on the end of my bed. She claps and bounces on my bed.

"Thanks Alice!" HB screams as she starts digging through her suitcase, throwing shit haphazardly all over my bed.

"Anything for you Honey Bee?" Alice screams back with a snort.

I watch as Bella starts to dig through the pile of clothes on my bed. I see pink and white stripes and snatch it out of the pile. It's a pair of basic cotton panties. They probably are not meant to be sexy, but they really fucking are and there is no way in hell she's getting them back.

"Umm, yeah, these are staying with me." I tell her as I reverently lay the ruffled cotton in my top dresser drawer.

"What? No, those are my favorite and they aren't even sexy Edward." She argues with me, like it makes any difference.

"Fuck yes they're sexy and you're not getting them back, Bella." I tell her with my arms crossed over my bare chest.

She digs into the pile again and pulls out a measly scrap of sparkly yellow lace.

"Here, take these. These are sexy." She tells me, wagging her eyebrows and dangling the panties from her pointer finger.

"No." Is all I say as I walk into my closet and pull on a white v neck tee. I then slip my feet into my black flip flops. I start to laugh when I see what Bella is wearing.

"We're twinsies, Wardo." She tells me and she's so right.

She has on a short denim skirt, a loose white v neck tee, knotted on the side and black flip flops. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this girl is a female version of me. And I'm turning into a freaking girl, because I keep thinking about fluffy romantic garbage like soul mate's and destiny and love at first sight and shit. Yeah, I have it freaking bad for this chick and I don't care one fucking bit.

After Bella and I finish getting dressed, the four of us head over to get Emmett and Rosalie. Alice snickers at Bella and I the entire way there, telling us _"how stinking cute"_ we are. When we enter the apartment, we notice the confrontation occurring at that very moment. Ham is standing in the middle of the living room in just his underwear with his arms crossed over his chest. Rosalie is standing in front of him with a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a gray wife beater. She looks back at us and narrows her eyes at Alice.

"Some fucking warning about what a giant pain in the ass your brother is would have been nice, Alice." She huffs out. Alice covers her mouth and looks down, trying not to laugh.

"Fuck Rosie, don't be mean to me. I don't feel good." Ham whines petulantly, and even stomps his foot.

"Oh, shut the fuck up and get dressed you big damn baby. I'm fucking hungry." Rosalie says, throwing the wad of clothes at Emmett's face.

He finally starts to get dressed as the rest of us try desperately not to laugh at him. He is very sensitive and extremely stubborn when he's hung over. So the fact that Rosalie got him to get dressed at all is a feat of epic fucking proportions and our laughing at him would only cause him to stop and throw another Emmett sized temper tantrum.

"Let's eat bitches! I'm fucking starved!"

We all turn to the doorway and see Riley standing there, all bright eyed and bushy tailed. I've never seen that dude with a hangover. I don't get it. But I guess we're all going to breakfast. Riley finally notices Emmett standing in only his underwear and the gray wife beater and whistles loudly. We all cringe.

"Lookin' good Ham." He says, wiggling his eye brows.

"I work out." Emmett deadpans.

"Honestly, I thought maybe you took roids, Hambone. But now that I can see what you're packing in those itsy, bitsy, teeny, weenie Calvin Klein bikinis I have no doubt that you're all natural."

"Shut the fuck up Twinkie." Emmett growls out.

"Ooooh. Temper, temper. I'm just fucking with you, dude." Riley tisks.

He knows how Emmett is the next day after a night at the club, but he's always got to push his buttons. I can see Emmett's neck turning red, which is a dead giveaway that he's about to blow a gasket so I intercede before shit hits the fan.

"I want a fucking big, greasy breakfast burrito from Filiberto's, so that's where the three of us are going." I say, pointing to Riley, HB, and myself. "You're all welcome to join us." I say, pushing Riley out the door and dragging Bella behind me.

"What the fuck, Ri? Why do you gotta provoke him? You know he's a loose cannon on days like this." I ask, shoving him into the wall.

"Fuck yes, I love me some Fili B's!" I hear Emmett shout out behind us.

I knew the mention of food would snap his bitchy ass out of his hung over funk. We hear his loud stomps creeping up behind us before he darts around the three of us. By the time he gets to the driver side of his Jeep, we all finally notice that he is still in just his underwear and the beater, but he at least has flip flops on. He then takes the time to pull on the cargo shorts.

"You guys baby him. He's fine." Riley says, rolling his eyes, not sure to whom, myself or Emmett.

"Let's ride people. There are burritos with my name on them just waiting to be eaten." Emmett says.

"What the fuck have I gotten myself into?" Rosalie mutters, with her hand on her forehead. We all laugh at her as we make our way to the cars. Riley and HB ride with me and Alice and Jasper ride with Emmett.

Bella immediately starts to fiddle with the radio, checking out my presets. I have a fairly eclectic taste in music, but my six favorite stations consist of three hip hop and R&B stations, one classic rock station, one alternative station and one country station.

"Country, Wardo? Really?" Bella asks, trying hard to conceal her laughter.

"I think he secretly wants to be a shit kicker, HB." Riley tells her.

"Well, he would look pretty hot in some tight assed pants, a cowboy hat and nothing else." Bella says, giving me a wicked grin, while tapping the corner of her mouth with her finger.

"Hell to the NO!" I tell her. I already know her well enough to be able tell that she is scheming.

"I want pictures!" Riley says excitedly to Bella.

"Not gonna happen." I say, eyeing him in the rear view mirror.

"Sure it will." He says with a knowing grin.

I feel Bella's hand slide onto my thigh and give a slight squeeze. When I look over to her, she gives me an innocent smile and I don't know how the fuck she does it, but I swear her deep brown eyes get bigger, and they fucking sparkle.

"What if I told you that all I wanted for my birthday was my very own shirtless cowboy? That it would make me so happy." She says as she leans over the center console into me and whispers in my ear, "Not to mention how hot and bothered I'd get, my panties would be soaking wet just from looking at you E-Baby." She sucks my ear lobe into her mouth and I cave. Sneaky bitch.

"When's your birthday?" I say, clearing my throat.

"Oh my god, Bella! You totally have him by the balls." Riley says, sprawled out in my backseat, laughing his ass off.

Bella just looks smug and does that thing where she blows on her fingers and rubs them on her shoulder. I never understood that action. She puts her hand over mine on the gear shift.

"I'm just messin' with you Wardo, but you really would look hot." She tells me and I just smile back, knowing that I'd do it for her.

"So, how was the birthday sex?" Riley asks bluntly and I swerve, narrowly missing the golf cart that cock blocking security guard was driving last night. My two passengers just laugh at me. Fuckers. I take a deep breath and pull out onto Liberty Lane, thanking the lord that the drive to Fili B's is a short one.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, no injuries were sustained to Edward's equipment. There was a double whammy in there for HB. It's only fair after that fanfuckingtastic BJ that Edward received last chapter, right? And Ham, my sweet, sweet Ham has a hard time being hung over but breakfast burritos work every time. And Filiberto's is real and really has the best hangover food. Wardo is sooooo super pussy whipped. Shirtless Cowboyward anyone? I missed Riley. Did anyone else?**

**Ok, lots of info to share. I've written an HBPOV outtake and I will be submitting it to the Fandom for Texas Wildfire Relief. It's for a good cause and there are many, many amazing authors contributing to the compilation. So for only $5 you are helping the people of Texas and getting some amazing stories in return. You have until November 1****st**** to make a donation. Visit the website for more information:**

**texasfires(dot)ysar(dot)info**

**I understand if you are not able to afford to make a donation, so I will post the outtake on my profile, but it won't be until January at the earliest.**

**Next… I'm participating in the ****Season of Our Discontent Anonymous Angst Contest. The contest is accepting entries from 10/15 through 11/24, so it's just beginning. There are already some amazing entries posted, mine included. I can't say which is mine though because it's an anonymous contest. Just go check it out. I'll keep popping little reminders into my A/N's until it's time to vote. Visit the contest page here:**

**www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/3142288/**

**Caz, this one's for you. My recommendation this week is Sexual Healing by wmrcaz. It's awesome! I just wanna have my way with cocky Manwhoreward and I wanna slap the silly outta Bella, but I still love her and, and, and just read it. You will not be disappointed. Come on, it's sex and humor and angst, you can't go wrong.**

_**Man-whore Edward Cullen is forced into seeing a therapist by his father. When he sees psychologist Dr. Isabella Swan, sparks will fly. What will happen when the only woman Edward's ever really wanted is the one he can't have? AH. M for lemons and language**_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com <strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	18. Chapter 17 – Make My World Stop

**A/N: Ehh... So I'm a bit early. You don't mind do you? Who wants a shirtless Cowboyward? I do, I do. Pick me, pick me. LOL! I may or may not have plans for something of the shirtless, cowboy variety. It will not be a planned event and it will be sometime after the completion of this story, so make sure you have LFN on story alert so you'll get notified if and when I do this. Hehehehe! Thanks to all for reading and reviewing. Onward peeps! I'm hungry. **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Beta babes, LovinRob and DannysMom, have a yummy breakfast burrito for all that you do for me.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 17 – Make My World Stop<p>

You Make Me Feel  
>by Cobra Starship featuring Sabi<p>

Everything you want so let me get up there  
>I'm the baddest baby in the atmosphere<br>Tell me what you want so we can do just what you like

You make me feel that  
>La la la la la<br>You make me feel so  
>La la la la la<br>You make me feel that  
>La la la la la<br>You make me feel so  
>La la la la la<br>You, you make me feel that

Get a little closer to me girl  
>And you'll understand<br>'Cause if you want a guy that knows what you need  
>Well, then I'm your man<p>

And if I listen I can hear you through my radio  
>In that bright white noise<br>What I been missing in my life  
>What I been dreaming of<br>You'll be that girl  
>You'll be that girl<br>You'll be

* * *

><p>Saturday 12-1pm<p>

"I want a chorizo and egg breakfast burrito with extra cheese. I also need a ham and egg breakfast burrito with potatoes and extra cheese. Ummm... And a diet coke please. Rosie?" Emmett orders then looks to Rosalie whose shaking her head.

"I thought you were ordering one of those for me?" Rosalie says to Emmett.

"Hell no! I'm a growing fucking boy woman. I need lots of nourishment to maintain this sexy physique." Emmett says, kissing his bicep.

"Whatever. Can I just get a potato, egg and cheese burrito please." Rosalie tells the young girl behind the counter.

"What kind should I get Wardo?" HB asks me.

"Machaca and egg or sausage and egg with potatoes. Or you could be like Ham and get both." I tell her, laughing.

"I could probably eat both. My tumbly is beary rumbly." Bella says, rubbing circles on her stomach.

"I'd like to see you try and eat two of these burritos. What if we each get one and we can share. If you're still hungry after that, then you can try something else. Sound good?" I ask her.

"Sure" she says, winding her arm around my bicep.

After I place our order, I tell Bella that she needs to use the red sauce because it's the shit. I won't call it salsa because salsa has chunks of crap in it and this is pureed, smooth deliciousness. I ask her what she wants to drink and she tells me Mr. Pibb. Gross.

"Nasty! How can you drink that shit? It tastes like watered down cough syrup." I shudder just thinking about it.

"Well, it's better than Coke Wardo. That tastes like liquid sugar and makes my belly hurt just thinking about it." HB says with a sour expression on her face.

"Coke is supposed to soothe your stomach, not upset it." I tell her.

"That's Dr. Pepper you dummy." She responds.

"You think that just because it has the word doctor in it that it's supposed to make you feel better?" I can't help it and I bend over in laughter.

"Fuck you, Wardo!" She stomps her foot and storms over to where Rose and Alice are sitting.

"I'm just fucking with you babe. Relax." I laugh, following behind her, not even trying to hide my amusement.

"Pfft." Is the only response she gives me before tossing her hair over her shoulder and turning and giggling with the girls. She can't really be mad at me if she's giggling, right?

We all sit spread out in the corner of the restaurant eating our food and talking about all the crazy shit that happened last night, when Alice finally brings up the inevitable.

"So I was thinking we should hit the road by 3:00 or 3:30. We have that meeting early tomorrow morning Bella."

"I still don't understand why the hell you'd schedule a meeting at 8am on a Sunday Alice. God, I'm tired just thinking about it." HB says, sighing softly.

"It's the only time that works for the vendor, Bella. You know I don't like to work on Sunday's either, but there was no other option. I need this vendor." Alice tells Bella.

"I know Alice. I just… I guess I'm not ready to leave so soon." Bella says, blushing slightly.

The mood quickly turns somber. Bella leans back in the booth and squeezes my thigh, giving me a pathetic excuse of a smile. I lean in and kiss her. I'm not ready for her to leave so soon either.

"We'll talk about this when we get back home, ok?" I tell her.

"Home." She says, smiling, non-pathetically this time.

"Yeah." I say.

The rest of the meal is spent in relative silence. With each couple whispering and nuzzling and Riley huffing and sighing, loudly.

"You guys suck, and not in the good way either! I need a fucking man." He pouts.

We laugh at him because I'm sure he brought someone home with him last night. When it comes to fucking, the dude just needs to have a pretty face and a big dick, but to be Riley's boyfriend, you need to be more. Riley won't explain what more means. I don't think he really knows because all he says is that when he finds that guy, he'll just know. His search for more has been fruitless so far. Perhaps if he would look past the pretty faces and big dicks he might see something he likes, something more. But what do I know? I'm just a single het male and based on the squicked out expression on Riley's face when he told me this, I must not know shit.

We head back to the apartments because it's too fucking hot to do anything outside. Bella and Riley sit huddled in the backseat together, even after all of my bitching for her to sit up front. Bella does lean forward at one point to turn up the radio. She kisses me on the cheek and squeals when Riley slaps her ass.

"Cute yellow thong, bitch! Is it sparkly?" Riley asks.

"Umm yeah, only the best sparkly things for my vagina." Bella says, laughing.

"Does that mean that Edward's cock sparkles?" Riley's says, followed by uncharacteristically manly guffaws.

"Only after he pulls out of me." Bella says, serious as a heart attack.

"Damn! This girl's a keeper E-Baby!" Riley tells me with a nudge to my shoulder.

I groan and have to adjust myself because of the visual that popped in my head of Bella in that damn sparkly thong, and my sparkly cock pulling in and out of her. Then they start to sing loudly, and badly.

_"On my waist, through my hair_

_Think about it when you touch me there_

_Close my eyes, here you are_

_All alone dancing in the dark_

_Tell me baby if it's wrong_

_To let my hands do what they want_

_Late at night I pretend we are_

_Dance, dance, da-dance dancing in the dark_

_Dancing in the dark,_

_ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la_

_Dancing in the dark._

_Put your work on me_

_Open my body up and do some surgery_

_Now that you got me up,_

_I wanna taste it, taste it_

_And see those pocket aces_

_I wanna see who you are,_

_I got a sex drive just push to start_

_I wanna see who you are,_

_I got a sex drive just push to start_

_I wanna see who you are,_

_I got a sex drive just push to start_

_Push push push push to start_

_I got a sex drive just push to start._

_On my waist, through my hair_

_Think about it when you touch me there_

_Close my eyes, here you are_

_Dance, dance, da-dance dancing in the dark"_

Bella can't sing for shit this morning, but she tries and she is attempting to be all seductive and sexy too. I'm still hard when the song ends so I guess she has succeeded. I'm trying to figure out the best way to ditch Riley so I can fuck her again. Don't hate on me, I see Riley all the damn time and I only have two more hours with Bella. My gut clenches at the thought and my cock quickly deflates. Damn it!

I'm not real sure what she's going to want to do, but I know that I want to work something out. I don't want this to be a quick weekend fling. I want to be with her. Only her. Forever. God I'm totally turning into a chick. I sigh as I rub my right hand across my face a few times.

"You alright E-Baby?" Bella asks me from the backseat, wrapping her arms around my seat. Her hands rest on my pecs and she lazily circles my nipples.

"Yup." I say.

"Why don't I believe you?" she tells me, pinching my nips.

"Ow! What was that for?" I ask, wrapping my hand around both of hers to prevent her from abusing me anymore.

"Just cause." She says, smiling sweetly.

"I'm just kind of... I don't know. I just don't know what you want to do here." I tell her, lifting her hands up and kissing her left wrist.

"Please wait till you drop my ass off before you have the fluffy hearts and rainbows conversation. Mmmkay? I'd like to keep my breakfast in my belly thank you very much. I'm depressed enough as it is. We should go find me a man tonight E-Baby." Riley says.

"Sure thing, Twinkie." I say.

We all go back to Ham and Jizz's apartment because it's a little bigger than mine. We just sit around and talk about the upcoming wedding. Turns out Alice and Jasper have already picked a date, July 21, 2012. And Alice was very agreeable to getting married in Las Vegas. Apparently my mother had a shit fit though when they told her and my dad all this information this morning.

My mom wants a traditional wedding ceremony in a church with a lavish reception following at some hoighty toighty country club. She doesn't want one of her babies to get married by Elvis at some sleazy drive thru wedding chapel.

Alice was able to calm her down by explaining that it would be very traditional. They were going to plan a beautiful ceremony at a non-sleazy chapel followed by a wonderful reception afterwards. They liked the idea of the Las Vegas atmosphere, but are doing it the traditional way.

I for one can't fucking wait. I love Las Vegas and I can't wait for my brother to get married. My mind wanders to what it would be like if I were planning my own wedding... With Bella... Shit! We haven't even talked about what's going to happen after today and I'm already thinking about marriage. Jesus Fuck! I'm totally turning into a chick. I hope my nuts don't shrivel up and my dick falls off.

Bella is lying on her side along the couch with her head in my lap and Riley is between my legs, sitting on the floor. I'm running my fingers through her hair softly and she has her arm flung over Riley's shoulder. He's playing with her fingers and tickling her palm.

"Holy... Ewww! That's so fucking gross Bella!" Riley shouts out.

Bella startles and accidentally elbows me in the junk as she tries to sit up.

"What's happening?" she yawns out.

"Owwwww, fucking shit!" I squeak out as I cup my nuts.

"You fucking drooled on my neck HB. That's so gross!" Riley is wiping his neck all over my knee. Bella slaps him in the back of the head before turning to me.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." She says, snuggling into me.

"It's okay." I say, taking deep breaths.

"Can we go back to your place for a little while? I just want to cuddle with you." Bella says, doing that thing where she makes her eyes more sparkly. And my mind immediately returns to conversations about sparkly panties and sparkly wieners.

"Let's go!" I say, standing up rather fast and knocking Riley in the head with my knee in the process.

"Jesus H! What, is it knock on Riley day or something? I sure as shit missed that memo."

"Sorry Twinkie." I say, kissing the top of his head and ruffling his hair as I head towards the door.

"We'll be back in a bit." I tell everyone.

We were excused with the sounds of gagging and whistles and whoops and hollers and a "cover your dip stick before you test her oil" and a smack. Bella flips them all the bird as we make our escape. I need to take advantage of every minute we have left.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: In the words of Rob, "Time to eat!" LOL! Silly man. So how was breakfast? And the banter between Twinkie and HB? Love those two! I wanna hang out with them. Think HB and Wardo will only be cuddling next chapter? **

**I mentioned this last week, but I'll remind you again as the deadline to make a donation is Tuesday. I've written an HBPOV outtake and I will be submitting it to the Fandom for Texas Wildfire Relief. It's for a good cause and there are many, many amazing authors contributing to the compilation. So for only $5 you are helping the people of Texas and getting some amazing stories in return. You have until November 1****st**** to make a donation. Visit the website for more information:**

**texasfires(dot)ysar(dot)info**

**I understand if you are not able to afford to make a donation, so I will post the outtake on my profile, but it won't be until January at the earliest.**

**My beta is going to shake her head at me for this one because I haven't been able to STFU about it, but this week's recommendation is another drabble fic from CaraNo. It's called River and its super amazing, but it should come with an anxiety warning because she leaves each little chapter with a wicked cliffhanger and I just want to die after reading each one. LOL! Read it!**

_**He's new in Port Pines. She already lives there with her boyfriend and best friend. Most of them work together. He falls hard and fast. She's confused. And soon, he knows something that the rest don't. Not even Bella. **_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com <strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	19. Chapter 18 – I'm the Magic Trojan

**A/N: Sigh… I'm depressed. This is NOT the last chapter, but its close and I'm sad. On a brighter note, I did go watch Twilight in the theater this past Tuesday and Robward was glorious. I can't wait for New Moon this coming Tuesday, Eclipse the Tuesday after that. AND THEN… I get to see them all again on the 17****th****, followed by Breaking Dawn at midnight! WOOHOO! OK, I'm done with my Saga rant now. Thanks to all my readers and extra special facial rub downs with Rob's goatee to those of you who review.  
>FromDusk, you're a sneaky ass, just saying. <strong>

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**Everlasting love to my betas, LovinRob and DannysMom, for keeping me sane and fixing my many flubs. And for giving me ideas when I'm having one of my typical mental blocks. LOL! Love you girlies!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 18 – I'm the Magic Trojan<p>

I Like  
>by Jeremih featuring Ludacris<p>

I'd like to take the time to love your body  
>Rub your body, kiss, and hug your body<br>Girl say ooh ooh I Like, ooh ooh I Like  
>So I'm gonna take the time to love your body<br>Rub your body, kiss, and hug your body  
>Girl say ooh ooh I Like, ooh ooh I Like<p>

* * *

><p>Saturday 1-2pm<p>

We walk silently, swinging our linked hands between us, back to my apartment. I'm feeling a bit sick. What if she doesn't want to pursue this with me? What if she was only looking for a quick fuck? What if she's not attracted to me? What if...

I'm broken out of my thoughts by a tugging on my hand. I look up at Bella and see her with a weird look on her face. It's a mix between a frown and a smile. I also notice that I have completely bypassed my apartment while I was lost in my head.

"You ok Wardo?" she asks me.

"Yeah. I just zoned out there for a minute." I say, running my fingers roughly through my hair.

"Let's go talk, kay?" she says, tugging me back in the direction of my apartment.

We make it back to my apartment and Bella walks straight into my bedroom. I lock the door and grab a bottle of water from the fridge, chugging down half of it, before following her in there.

"Jesus fuck, HB. What are you wearing?" I ask her, dropping the bottle of water on the floor.

"You don't mind do you?" she asks coyly, sucking her bottom lip in.

She's laying in my bed wearing the fucking pink and white panties that I stashed in my top drawer earlier and one of my white wife beaters. She looks fucking amazing and I can't tear my eyes away from her.

"Fuck no, I don't mind. In fact I think you should wear that all the damn time." I say as I pull my tee shirt over my head.

"I want those panties back though." I say, looking pointedly at her crotch, while I let my jeans drop to the floor.

I think I may blush as she rakes her eyes along the entire length of my body. My boxer covered cock twitches as her gaze lingers in that general area. Licking her lips, she reaches out her hand for me.

I climb into the bed next to her, lying on my side with my head propped up on my palm. I take my time letting my eyes wander around her face. I want to memorize every freckle, every shade of brown in her eyes, every little crease caused by her beautiful smile and her boisterous laugh. I run my finger from her forehead down the length of her jaw and when I reach her chin I tilt her face up towards me and kiss her softly on the lips.

"You want to do this with me, Bella?" I ask against her lips.

"Mmm... Just kiss me right now Edward. We'll talk soon, but right now I just want to be with you, no worries, no complications, just easy peasy japaneasy." She says, tilting her head and slipping her tongue into my mouth.

I cradle the back of her head as I let her lead the kiss. I can feel the passion and intensity in the way her lips are frantically moving against my own. I can feel how much she wants me, how much she wants this with me and how much she doesn't want it to end either. I lay flat on the bed, shoving my other arm underneath her and wrapping it around her waist, pulling her closer to me. We twist our legs together and rub our bare feet against each others.

We break away after a minute and just look into one another's eyes. I see a mixture of lust and adoration and I have to imagine the same is looking back at her from my eyes. I can't imagine not having her in my life. Fuck, I can't imagine what my life was like just a mere 18 hours earlier, before she crashed like a meteor into the center of my universe.

Suddenly her bottom lip starts to quiver and her eyes fill with tears. She inhales sharply.

"Edward." she says shakily.

"No, baby. Please, please don't cry. Shhh..." I say as I pull her closer to me, cradling her body in my arms.

"I don't want to leave." She says.

"I know HB. We'll work it out, I promise. I want you. And I'll take you any way possible, even if that means only seeing you on the weekends or whatever. We'll make it work." I say as I pull back to look at her, wiping her tears away.

She nods and takes a deep breath. "Be with me Edward. Show me. Please."

I don't need any more explanation as I nod my head. I get up onto my knees and sit back on my heels between her legs. I slide my hands under my wife beater and push it up; kissing every inch of her newly exposed flesh as I go. After she is free of the shirt, I sit back and just let my eyes roam her body. She is seriously fucking stunning and it kind of makes my chest hurt thinking about not seeing her every day.

I hook my thumbs into her panties and she lifts her hips slightly so I can pull them off of her. After she is fully nude I place small kisses all over her body; her ankles, the inside of her knee, her hip bones, and then dip the tip of my tongue into her cute little belly button. I trail my tongue up the underside of her right breast before sucking her nipple into my mouth. With my other hand I cup her left breast and circle her nipple with my thumb.

By the time I'm face to face with her she's a writhing, panting, flushed mess. She brings her knees up and hooks her big toes into the band of my boxer briefs and pushes them down. They get caught around my dick so I have to reach down and release him. She then uses her feet to push them the rest of the way off before I kick them to the floor.

I settle myself between her legs and she starts to lift her hips against me. I groan at the exquisite feeling of her body flush against mine and capture her lips with my own. I deepen the kiss wanting to feel every bit of her. My hips start to rock into her of their own accord. I reach down and grab her knee, hitching it over my hip, wanting to get as close as possible to her, to become one with her.

I look into her eyes as I push slowly into her slick warmth. That look of adoration is still very much present in her eyes. I rest my elbows on each side of her head and start to pull out slowly before pushing back in, smoothly and gently. She wraps her warm little fingers around my biceps and we just continue to watch each other and soon she starts to meet me thrust for thrust.

Our breathing has picked up and I rest my fore head against hers, our lips are touching but we are not kissing, just looking and watching and sharing breaths, and it's probably the most intimate position I've ever been in.

I drop down and rest my head in the crook of her neck and wrap my hands up around her shoulders. She moves her hands up from my biceps and wraps them around my shoulders. She also hitches both legs up around my waist and locks her ankles across my lower back. We are now a little tiny ball of panting, sweaty passion in the middle of my king sized bed.

I can feel her warm breath slither across my neck, tickling my hair and making me shiver and shooting straight to my cock. I feel a surge of energy and passion and I start to pump into her faster and harder.

"Oh god Wardo, yes baby, just like that, unnhhh, yeah, ohhh..." she whispers and I'm honestly surprised I can hear her over our heavily labored breaths.

"You feel so good Bella, God, so fucking good baby." I say into her neck.

I lift my head and slam my lips to hers and she moves her hands to my cheeks, holding my face to hers. She is whimpering into my mouth and her tongue is lazily licking along my lips. For some reason, that is driving me fucking bonkers, in a really good fucking way, and my eyes roll back into my head at the sensation.

"I'm so close Wardo. Please..." she begs.

"Me too HB. Let go, I'll be right behind you." I say to her.

Her whimpers start to increase in frequency and decibel level and I can feel the fluttering of her internal muscles, starting to tighten around my cock. I pick up the pace and shift slightly, changing the angle and when she moans loudly I know I'm hitting her sweet spot better than I was before.

"Oh shit yeah, mmm, yeah, right there E-Baby, oh god" She says as she tries to arch her chest upwards.

I'm lying directly on top of her though so she only succeeds in smashing her tits harder into my chest. I just hold her closer to me; hold her tighter to me, not wanting to allow even the slightest amount of space between us.

She finally tenses and a breathless string of incoherencies flies from her mouth before she latches her teeth into the flesh of my shoulder. The pain mixed with the sensation of her pussy gripping my cock sends me diving over the edge of ecstasy.

"Oh, oh fuck, yessss baby, Isabella." I say, thrusting a few more times, riding out my orgasm as long as possible, before collapsing fully on top of her.

"Shit! Sorry, HB." I rasp out, preparing to roll off of her tiny frame.

"NO!" she practically screams at me, locking her arms and legs around me tightly.

"Just stay here please, I like to feel your weight on me. It makes me feel safe and secure and I don't know what else, but I like how it feels." she says, smiling shyly.

"You're sure I'm not crushing you?" I say, propped back up on my elbows, running my fingers down the side of her face.

She doesn't verbally respond, just shakes her. She lifts up and kisses me gently before pulling me fully on top of her again. We lay like that for, I'm not sure how long, a while I guess. I may have even dozed off because I startle when I feel my sated and flaccid cock slip from within her.

I push myself up onto my knees and sit back, stretching. Bella is up on her elbows and she's smiling and giggling like a loon. She's too dang cute.

"Now why are you laughing at me HB?" I ask, resting my hands on her knees.

She falls back in a fit of hysterical laughter and I can't help but chuckle along with her even though I have no idea what she's laughing at. When she finally composes herself and catches her breath, she looks at me and points between my legs.

"You've got a sparkly peen Wardo."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So… Yeah! This chapter is a family sized jar of marshmallow fluff, super sweet. Not my usual style, but it kind of wrote itself and it fit with the mood of our two love birds, don't you think? I did keep some humor in there. I mean come on, how could Bella not comment on the sparkly peen? Heeheehee!**

**I have two one-shots entered in two contests right now.**

**My entry for the Beyond the Pale 2 contest is called Watch. It's on my profile and here is the link for the rest of the fantastic entries that have been submitted so far:  
>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)netcommunity/Beyond_the_Pale_Contest_Entries/83159/14/0/1/  
>Voting opens on November 28, so I'll remind you closer to that date.<strong>

**I've already mentioned this one but I'm participating in the ****Season of Our Discontent Anonymous Angst Contest. There are some amazing entries posted, mine included. I can't say which is mine though because it's an anonymous contest. Just go check it out. Visit the contest page here:  
>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)netu/3142288/  
>Voting for this one opens on November 25, so again, I'll remind you closer to that date.<strong>

**This week's recommendation is Behind the Velvet Rope by mcgt. This is a fantastic story, one of my favorite and most anticipated WIP's right now and for some reason it's not getting the love it deserves. So I'm gonna try to send her some readers.**

_**Emmett McCarty is the newest bouncer at Fire & Ice night club. This is his firsthand account of all the shady, sexual, and lucrative happenings from behind the velvet rope. Canon pairings eventually. Give it a whirl, it's going to be a wild ride! **_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com<strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	20. Chapter 19 – Check please…

**A/N: Alright peeps. This is the last regular chapter. *sobs* I'm going to leave the goodbyes for the epilogue next week. Many, many, many thanks to all the readers that have been with me from the beginning, the middle and the end. You all have made this experience one I will cherish forever and always. THANK YOU! **

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

**And to my two favorite ladies, LovinRob and DannysMom, without you this story would still be festering in my brain and it would have never seen the light of day. And then you made it shiny and pretty for me after I got it on paper. Your support and encouragement mean heaps and piles to me. Love you both!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 19 – Check please…<p>

It Girl  
>by Jason DeRulo<p>

Can't seem to stop you from... running, running  
>Through my, through my mind, mind<br>Just keep it coming, coming  
>Til I make you mine, mine<br>You've got that something, something  
>I wanna be with girl<br>You're my greatest hit girl  
>Just say this is it girl...<br>Hey baby...  
>Don't you know you're my it girl<p>

You could be my it girl  
>Baby you're the shit girl<br>Lovin' you could be a crime  
>Crazy how we fit girl<br>This is it girl  
>Give me 25 to life<br>I just wanna rock all night long  
>And put you in the middle of my spotlight<br>You could be my it girl  
>You're my biggest hit girl<p>

* * *

><p>Saturday 2-3pm<p>

"Oh god! Please! Oh please god, Wardo! STOP!" HB says, barely getting the words out between her giggles.

She just had to make a comment on the state of my, erm, sparkly cock, so I threw myself down onto her, pinning her to the mattress. I then proceeded to tickle the shit out of her by digging my fingers into her sides.

"Say it! Outloud! Say it!" I tell her and then sink my teeth into her neck.

"OK! OK! You have the biggest and best sparkly peen ever! I love your cock Edward!" She screams out, loud enough that I'm sure she could be heard in Jizz and Ham's apartment in the building over.

I place a sloppy wet kiss over where I just bit her. I'm sure she can feel the smile on my lips.

"Why thank you, Isabella. That's very kind of you to say." I say, smirking at her.

"Dick!" she says, pinching my love handle.

I lean down and kiss her, intending to just give her a little peck, but when she runs her tongue underneath my bottom lip, I die. I suck her top lip into my mouth and she moans. She starts to wiggle her hips underneath me and my cock starts to come alive again. This woman is giving me the gift of an insanely quick rebound time. It's mother fucking awesome.

"Sit up Wardo." Bella says, pushing on my chest.

I sit back on my knees and she shakes her head at me.

"On your butt and lean up against the headboard." She says.

After I get situated she sits on my lap. Backwards. She leans back and her back is pressed to my chest. She plants her ass on my lower stomach and reaches between her legs, stroking my length and rubbing it against her pussy at the same time. I reach my arms around her and cup her breasts.

"You'll need to help me E-Baby. I've never done this before and I really want to try it with you." she says, hiding her face in my neck.

I can almost feel the heat of her embarrassment on her face. I move my head to the side a bit so I can see her face.

"Don't hide from me Honey Bee. I want to try everything with you baby. You don't need to be shy or embarrassed with me. Ok?" I say.

When she nods, I lean down for a sweet kiss. She lines my cock up with her entrance and slowly moves herself down on me. I bend my knees and put my feet flat on the bed, in between her spread legs. I wrap one arm around her ribs, cupping her tit, and grip her hip with my other.

"Just lay back, baby." I tell her.

I then slowly start to thrust up into her. She reaches up behind us and wraps her fingers around the wooden frame of my headboard. She's moaning and I'm groaning and I'm already almost ready to cum again after only 4 and a half thrusts. Maybe she spiked my burrito with a Viagra or something because this shit is just fucking crazy.

"Fuck HB, what are you doing to me?" I rasp out.

"Oh god, Wardo. How am I going to survive without you? When can you come see me?" She asks, taking one hand from the headboard and wrapping it around my neck.

Is she serious? She wants to talk about this while I'm balls deep in her pussy. I move my hand that's on her hip over to her pussy and gather some wetness from where we are connected, intending to circle her clit. I die, again, when I feel myself sliding into her. I slip my middle finger into her and the sensation is kind of odd. I must hit something inside of her because Bella arches almost completely off of me and pushes my cock out of her.

"Oh shit! Sorry! That just felt so good and it caught me off guard Wardo. Hurry! Do it again. Please hurry!" She says, rocking her hips.

I grab my cock and push back up into her. I then take my middle finger and push it back into her as well. I pull my cock out, leaving my finger inside, and thrust back in roughly. She clenches her muscles and I almost lose my shit right then.

"Fuuuccckkk! Fuck! HB, tell me you're fucking close because I'm like a runaway train here baby. There is no stopping me." I say, squeezing my eyes shut so tightly I see stars.

Bella moves her hand down and slips it underneath mine. I can feel her rubbing her clit and I start to wiggle my finger, adding pressure to her inside wall, and what must be her g spot because her entire body suddenly stiffens and she let's rip the sexiest mother fucking growl I've ever heard and I'm done.

She also manages to push me out again, right as I'm cumming and I shoot my load all over the damn place. Most of it lands on her chest but there is some on her thighs, my thighs and the sheets in between my legs too.

"Fucking shit, Honey Bee! You'll seriously kill me one of these days. Seriously! For reals! No joke! Abso-fuck..." She cuts me off mid-sentence by shoving her tongue in my mouth.

"Death by Bee sting Wardo? Better get yourself an Epi-pen baby." She says as she stands up, giggling shyly.

How she can stand there, looking all shy and shit is beyond me. She's covered in cum, my cum. That makes me grin like a smug bastard. She looks fucking sexy with my cum dripping down her stomach. I grin even more smugly than I was before.

"Let's shower, Wardo." she says, shaking her head at me.

After we have showered and are dressed again. Bella starts to pack up her clothes and shit that she has tossed all over the fucking floor. We're both silent for a bit, nothing but the sound of our occasional sighs filling the silence.

"So..." I stop and clear my throat.

"I'm off Wednesday and Thursday this week and don't have to be back in until 5 on Friday night. I could come out to San Diego. Umm... If you want me to I mean." I say, rubbing the back of my neck and suddenly my beige carpet is very interesting.

I'm sitting in my desk chair, still looking at the floor when her cute navy blue painted toes come into view. I look up as she starts to run her fingers through my hair. I close my eyes and I swear I purr like a cat, because that shit feels spectacular.

"I'd love nothing more than for you to come see me on Wednesday. Well, maybe I'd love it more if I could see you all the days in between that too, but I'll take what I can get. So, yes. Please come see me as soon as you are able to, Wardo." She says, pushing my head back and kissing my lips gently.

I wrap my arms around her middle and pull her in between my legs. We just stand in this embrace for a few minutes. I'm tracing circles on the flesh of her lower back and she's massaging my scalp.

"Can I tell people I have a girlfriend?" I ask her, resting my chin on her stomach so I can see her beautiful face.

"Only if I can tell people that I have a boyfriend." She says, killing me with her stunning smile.

I squeeze her and she moves to sit sideways on my lap. She kisses me lovingly and plays with the hair around my ears. She stands up and moves to finish packing up her shit. I see the pink striped panties half buried under the blankets on my bed and I smirk. I stand up and grab them, pulling them to my nose. They smell like Bella and I smile.

"That's nasty Wardo!" she says, scrunching up her face in disgust.

"What are you saying HB, that you're nasty?" She scoffs and I smile as I place the panties back in my own underwear drawer.

"You're weird." she says, focusing on trying to zip up her ridiculous pink suitcase. She didn't take the time to fold her clothes; she just sort of haphazardly threw them all in there, which of course is the cause of all her problems.

She's on her knees, grunting, and her hair is falling in her face and she keeps trying to blow it back out of the way just for it to fall back in her face again. She finally gives up and slaps her thighs. Her suitcase explodes and it reminds me of one of those cans that you open and those fake snake things shoot out at you. I laugh full on belly laughs at the thought and at her expression.

"Fuck you, Wardo!" she says, gathering all her clothes up again.

This time she sits on the suitcase and zips it up in small increments, shoving bits and pieces of different garments into the suitcase as she goes.

"There." she says proudly, wiping her hands together.

"You're too fucking cute, HB." I tell her.

I pick up the suitcase and head into the living room, with her following closely behind me. I set the case by the door and move into the kitchen where HB is helping herself to a bottle of water from my fridge.

I lean my ass against the counter and just watch her, well watch her ass really, since the top half of her is bent over and buried in the refrigerator. Not that I mind because I love her ass. She stands up, twists the top off and guzzles down most of the bottle in one swig.

She moves to stand between my legs and rests her forehead against my chest. I wrap one arm around her waist and rub the back of her neck under her hair. Feeling the slightly raised skin there makes me remember that I was going to ask her about that.

"Any significance to this?" I ask, gently running my fingers over it.

"Umm... Not really. I just really like cupcakes." She says, giggling.

"I don't believe that for one fucking second. Just tell me, please." I say, kissing the top of her head.

"No! You'll think I'm dumb." she says, shaking her head against my chest and gripping my tee shirt in both of her little fists.

"No I won't." I tell her, rubbing her arm with the hand that was wrapped around her waist.

"Umm... To pay homage to my favorite fan fiction character ever." she says, giggling again.

"What? You read fan fiction too?" I ask, shocked and a bit embarrassed myself that I just admitted that.

Her head whips up and she narrows her eyes at me. She thinks I'm making fun of her.

"I'm serious, Bella. I don't read it often, but Riley's sister loves it and I overheard her telling Riley about it once and thought I'd check it out. Riley reads it too." I tell her.

She continues to just stare at me with squinty eyes and then she bursts out laughing, like tears rolling down your cheeks, make your stomach ache, guffaws.

"Oh man! That's so fucking awesome, Wardo. We can read them together. That'd be fun." she says wagging her perfectly arched eye brows at me.

"Sure HB, but I doubt we'd make it through one lemon without attacking each other." I say, snickering.

We both turn our heads to the door at the sound of the dreaded knock. It's time. We both inhale and sigh loudly.

"We'll make this work, Bella. I promise you. I'm all in. We can Skype and text and chat and talk on the phone and any other kind of communication there is out there." I tell her.

She just nods and takes a few deep breaths. I open the door to see Alice standing there with a look of pity on her face. She knows very well about long distance relationships. Her and Jasper have survived this long so I know that HB and I will be ok. I grab Bella's suitcase and we follow Alice out to her car.

I'm not so sure about whether Ham will be ok though. He's clinging tightly to Rosalie by Alice's car and she's rubbing soothing circles on his back. I place HB's suitcase in the trunk, shutting it when I'm done. Alice kisses Jasper and slides into the driver's seat. Rosalie is trying to pry Emmett off of her. I laugh.

I turn and kiss Bella with everything in me. I rest my forehead against hers, just breathing her in for another minute.

"Thank you HB. For coming to Phoenix, for being you and for wanting to be with me." I say, wiping the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs.

She just nods before reaching up to kiss me again.

"Wednesday right?" she whispers.

"Wednesday. Now get outta here before I change my mind and force you to stay here with me." I say, slapping her ass as she climbs into the back seat.

I walk over to help Rose untangle herself from Emmett. He finally moves and I wrap my arm around his shoulders. He rests his head on my shoulder and sniffles, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. The girls all wave out of their windows as they pull away. Bella turns around and blows me a kiss through the back window. I pretend to catch it and place it over my heart.

We watch them drive away until we can't see them anymore. I feel empty. But I tell myself it's only a few more days before I'll see her again and that I better get used to it. After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder or whatever that bullshit saying is. I tighten my hold on Ham's shoulders and wrap my other arm around Jizz. Riley comes out of nowhere and jumps on my back.

"Best fucking birthday ever boys!" I say with a huge grin on my face.

THE END!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That's all she wrote folks. I hope I did them justice and left them in a good place. I am looking forward to hearing your feelings. The epilogue will post next Friday. Sigh… I need at least 2 shots of whipped cream flavored vodka now, one in celebration of writing my first fic and one to ease the ache in my chest from completing my first fic. LOL! **

**Real quick mention about my one-shots again:  
>Watch – Beyond the Pale 2 Contest<br>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Beyond_the_Pale_Contest_Entries/83159/14/0/1/  
>Voting opens on November 28.<strong>

**Season of Our Discontent Anonymous Angst Contest.  
>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)netu/3142288/  
>Voting opens on November 25.<strong>

**My last recommendation so I better make it a good one. Hmm… The one I'm totally immersed in right now is called For the Summer by camoozle. It's an older fic, about a year old, and is pretty popular, so many of you may have already read it. It is one of the best stories I've read in awhile.**

_**Every year Bella waits for the 'Pay Checks' to roll into her sleepy river town and every year Edward's hers, just for the summer. AH, AU, OOC, B/E**_

**Visit the blog for some visual goodies and other stuff:  
>lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com<strong>

**Love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	21. Epilogue – I'm Rising So High

**A/N: HAPPY BREAKING DAWN DAY! FUCKING FINALLY!**

**This story has an M rating for foul language and dirty deeds.**

**Stephenie Meyer is the Queen of the Twilight world and I'm just having some harmless fun with her characters.**

* * *

><p>Last Friday Night<br>Epilogue

Waking Up In Vegas  
>by Katy Perry<p>

Don't be a baby  
>Remember what you told me<br>Shut up and put your money where your mouth is  
>That's what you get for waking up in Vegas<br>Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now  
>That's what you get for waking up in Vegas<br>Why are these lights so bright?  
>Oh, did we get hitched last night dressed up like Elvis?<br>Why am I wearing your class ring?  
>Don't call your mother<br>'cause now we're partners in crime

* * *

><p>Las Vegas<br>7/20/12  
>8:52 am<p>

I groan loudly as I try to open my eyes. I think someone stuck burning spears into each of my eyeballs and down my throat as well. I roll onto my back and hiss through my teeth. My muscles are aching as if I was a participant in one of those Ironman Competitions.

I hear a whimper and suddenly there is a small, warm body snuggled into my side. She tosses a leg over my waist, grazing my morning wood with her knee.

"What the fuck happened last night Wardo?" She sounds like she had a flaming spear shoved down her throat as well.

"I have no clue HB." I tell her, wrapping my right arm tighter around her shoulders.

I bring my left hand up to my face and scrub up and down trying to clear the sleepy hung over fog from my eyes and brain.

"What the fuck!" I screech.

Bella shoots upright, eyes still shut as she grabs her head with both her hands.

"Unhhhh... Too loud Wardo. What's wrong?" She asks.

I grab her left hand to inspect it and sure enough.

"Holy fuck me in the ass!" I shout.

"Don't let Riley hear you say that Wardo." She fucking giggles.

"Shut the hell up HB and open your eyes!" I tell her.

She finally opens her eyes and I thrust both of our left hands into her face.

"Oh shit! Did we..." she trails off with a large gulp.

"Sure looks that way, sweet cheeks!"

"Well I hope there is at least a video or some pictures." she says, frowning and I can't help but laugh at her.

"You're not mad?" I ask her.

"Heck no! Why would I be mad?"

"Ummm... We're in Vegas and can't remember shit about it. How cliché can we be?"

"Shut it Wardo! I'm sure it was fab." she says smiling and waving her hand back and forth in front of her.

"Oooohhhh! What about Zé and Jizz? Think they're mad?" she gasps.

"If I know my brother, he's probably thrilled, but I'm not sure about Alice." I say and I'm kind of worried now.

"Fuck 'em! I'm excited about this!" she squeals before straddling me in all her naked glory and planting a huge wet kiss on my lips.

"Yeah?" I ask, squeezing her ass cheeks.

"Yes!" she screams, squirming on my lap.

I flip us over and slide my cock into her slick warmth, stilling my movements when I'm as far inside of her as I can get. I can't help the huge grin that spreads across my face.

"I love you Edward." she tells me, gently running her fingertips along my sideburns and down my jawline.

"Mmmmm, I love you too... Isabella Masen." I say, dropping my face down to kiss her.

"I like the sound of that." She says against my lips.

"Me too, HB, me too." I tell her, as I start to thrust into her.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN, YOU OPEN THIS DOOR THIS INSTANT!" we hear my mother screaming through the door.

"Oh shit!"

~14 hours and 47 minutes earlier~ 

"Fuck I hate flying!" Emmett gripes as we get off the plane.

"Well it's better than driving." Rosalie tells him, followed by a huge eye roll.

"Yeah, says you, Ms. I'm a petite 5' 6". You have tons of wiggle room whereas I feel like I'm stuffed in a sardine can." Emmett huffs.

"I'm 5' 7" you ass and I didn't hear you complaining about being stuffed in a sardine can when we visited the lavatory." Rosalie says, wagging her eyebrows.

"Yuck!" Alice says as she gags.

Those two are fucking made for each other. Emmett just smiles all dazed and dreamy at her. Pussy whipped mother fucker.

"Let's move bitches! I'm ready to get my drunk on and dance with my man meat." Riley says as he passes us on Alec's back.

Riley met Alec over the Halloween weekend when we went to visit the girls in San Diego. Alec was the Stefan to Riley's Damon. They have been inseparable ever since. Alec was officially a Phoenician before Thanksgiving even rolled around. Apparently, Alec has that elusive "more" factor that Riley was always talking about.

"Chicken Fight!" Is all the warning I get before HB launches herself onto my back. Good thing she's so damn tiny otherwise I would have knocked the little old couple that is shuffling along in front of me to the ground.

I wrap my fingers around her thighs and dart around Grams and Gramps chasing after Twinkie and Poof. Bella kicks Riley in the ass as we pass them. His screech makes us both laugh.

Alec is a fast motherfucker though, even with Riley on his back, because before I know it I'm being pulled backwards. Luckily Bella manages to jump off my back and land on her feet. I'm not as lucky as I find myself on my back sprawled out on the floor of a crowded airport.

"Fuckers!" I yell, amidst their guffaws.

HB is bent over to make sure I'm still alive and kicking. My cock is fine apparently because it leaps in my pants at the sight of Bella's lace ensconced tits. Yeah I can totally see right down my girl's shirt and I take full motherfucking advantage. She smirks and shakes her head.

"Perv!" She laughs.

"Tease!" I say, standing back up.

HB and I have been doing the whole long distance relationship thing for the past 13 months. It sucks donkey balls because I want her with me every day, but we make due and it's better than not seeing her at all. We take turns traveling to each other. I'll go to San Diego on my days off and then the next weekend she'll come to Phoenix. We have gone on a few longer getaways as well.

We took a long weekend to Sedona for her birthday in September. We did the whole tourist thing and I even convinced her to go on that Pink Jeep off road thing. It was fucking awesome and we had our first tryst in the outdoors during that tour when we wandered off on our own during the lunch stop.

I'll never actually admit to this, but there may, or may not, be pictures of me shirtless from that weekend. With a cowboy hat on. And a freaking tight assed pair of Levi 501's. And nothing else. It was her birthday after all.

I took her home for Christmas and of course Mom and Dad fell in love with her immediately. That was when I also knew I was in love with her. Well I pretty much knew from the get go but we had to build up to that shit you know. So I took her out for a stroll to see all the houses lit up with their Christmas paraphernalia. We were all bundled up in our heavy jackets and hats, scarves and mittens. It started to snow and it was just perfect. I told her right then and there that I loved her.

She responded by squealing and jumping into my arms. She was kissing me and telling me she loved me too, over and over. I started to walk forward with her still wrapped around me and ended up slipping on some ice and landing flat on my ass, hard, but I didn't care. My girl just told me she loved me and that was totally worth the pain of my bruised ass cheek and her scraped up knee.

We went on a short 4 day Cruise to Mexico in April and she didn't correct the steward from calling her Mrs. Masen. I was stunned at first but then as the thought of her being my wife sunk in I just smiled hugely at her. She blushed and shrugged. We spent most of those four days in our stateroom. Who knew discussions of marriage and babies could be such a turn on?

Now here we are in Las Vegas for Jasper and Alice's wedding in two days. Tomorrow is all planned out with rehearsals and dinners and final fittings and yada yada bullshit. Alice and the girls have it under control and we are required to just follow them around like lost little puppy dogs. Not really a stretch from normal there.

But tonight is all about the partying. We have a VIP booth reserved at Tao. Apparently some British dude who plays a vampire or some shit is hosting tonight and the girls are being all giggly fan girls for him so of course that's where we're going.

When we finally make it out of the airport we take two taxis to the Monte Carlo and get checked in to our rooms. We decide to just hit up the buffet located in the hotel for dinner before getting ready for the night.

A couple of hours, and a few orgasms later, HB and I finally emerge from our room. The rest of our crew is impatiently waiting for us in the casino. I don't care, HB looks like sin in her little silver dress with those black ruffles that hardly cover her ass and I couldn't help myself. She unleashes the sex fiend within me. And those damn boots she has on doesn't help my case either. They're all buckles and black leather and goddamn sexy. I fucked her with nothing but the boots on, it was hot.

We requested a limo to take us to the Venetian so that we could all ride together. We toasted to Alice and Jasper's impending nuptials over a bottle of champagne in the limo. And in the 20 minutes it took us to get from point A to point B we also managed to empty a bottle of tequila. Needless to say we were all feeling a bit warm and fuzzy by the time we got to our table in the club, especially the girls.

The next few hours are a blur of beers and shots and dancing and girly squeals over the vampire dude in the booth three spots down from us. He's alright looking I guess if you like tall and lanky with fucked up hair. Well shit, that's me in a nutshell.

"HBeeeeeeee..." I slur out.

"Whasss up butta cup?" Bella says, giggling.

"Am I hotter than that vampire dude over there?" I ask her, rubbing my palm up and down her smooth thigh.

She doesn't answer, just leans in for a wicked kiss. After a brief, but cock hardening, make out session, she grabs my cheeks and looks me in the eye.

"No." She says seriously.

I just stare at her. The longer I stare the more I can feel my drunken smiley face morphing into a frown. She finally caves and starts to crack up.

"Oh... Oh god Wardo... Your face... The expression on your face was fucking priceless." She can barely speak through her uproarious laughter. I'm still frowning cause that shit isn't funny. At all.

"E-Baby, there is no one hotter than you. Not even vamp-boy over there, no matter how much he may look like you." She says as she slides her hand up my thigh and cups my junk rather snugly.

"And besides, you have JC in your pants, and he is one of a kind. Will you let me confess my sins to him later? I've been a naughty girl, Wardo." She whispers in my ear, making me shiver.

Yes, my cock is nicknamed after the good Lord. I'm surprised HB and I haven't been struck down yet. She named him after one of our particularly intense multi-orgasm sex romps. She couldn't stop screaming out Jesus Christ so she thought it was an appropriate nickname.

Her pussy is named Madge. There is not really any fun story attached to that one. Just that it rhymes with vadge. You know, what some people call vagina for short? It makes me snicker and it makes her smile. So we went with it.

"Yes, you have been a naughty girl. JC may need to spank you." I tell her. She has become rather fond of me slapping her ass with my cock. She's weird, but I love her little bits of kinky tendency.

"This place is lame. Let's go." Riley says, clearly annoyed.

"Awww... You're just mad that Alec can't stop staring at Robin Patterson." Alice tells him with a squeeze to his shoulder.

"Riley, he's fucking hot baby. You can't deny that. And he's a fucking vampire. You know what vampires do to me." Alec tells him, whining like a baby.

"I can be a hot fucking vampire too ya know?" Riley says petulantly.

"Fuck yes you can, I remember! Are you saying that you'll dress up as Damon for me again?" Alec looks like he's about to pass out from excitement.

"Pfft... We'll see. But I still wanna leave. Let's go walk the strip."

"I am not walking down the strip in these shoes!" Rose says, pointing to her 6 inch red stiletto heels.

"Me neither." Alice says.

"I'll go." HB says.

"Honey Bitch, I knew I could count on you." Riley says, high fiving my girl and using his fucked up version of my nickname for her.

"Jizzy, Ham, Lita and I will take the limo back then. Call us when you get back to the hotel." Alice tells us.

We split into two groups and head our separate ways. The four of us stop at Fat Tuesdays to get a drink for the road. You can't visit Vegas without partaking in a ridiculously expensive frozen drink from there.

We laugh and giggle and stumble and make fun of all the drunk people. Not us of course because we are not obnoxious drunks. No sir. Riley is not smacking the asses of every dude that walks by and Bella doesn't have her hand down the front of my pants and Alec is not walking around with the neck of his shirt wrapped around his head like a wig and I'm not singing Pitbull's Let It Rain.

"_A billion's a new million  
>Voli's a new vodka<br>Forty is the new 30  
>Baby you're a rock star<br>Dale veterana, que tú sabes  
>Más de la cuenta, no te hagas<br>Teach me baby, or better yet,  
>Freak me baby, yes, yes<br>I'm freaky baby,  
>I'mma make sure that your peach feels peachy baby<br>No bullshit broads, I like my women sexy, classy, sassy  
>Powerful yes, they love to get the middle, nasty ow<br>This ain't a game you'll see, you can put the blame on me  
>Dale muñequita, abre ahí, and let it rain over me"<em>

"You always make my peach feel peachy baby." Bella whispers before sticking her tongue in my ear.

Fucking minx.

We're almost back to our hotel when HB sees the flashing pink neon sign that says "Viva Las Vegas". She pulls me in that direction with a sexy, drunken smirk on her face.

"Where are you going, HB?" I ask her.

"Let's get married Wardo?" she says, the picture of nonchalance.

"Seriously?" I say as my feet become rooted in place.

"I thought you wanted to marry me, Edward?" she says, pouting.

"I do, but are you sure you want to do it like this? I don't even have a ring for you." I question her.

"Let's do it! I'm sure we can find a jewelry store somewhere." she says, jumping up and down like a little girl being told she could have a pony for her birthday.

"Ok. Let's go ask if they know where a jewelry store is because I'm not marrying you without a ring." I tell her.

"Twinkie! Poof! We're getting married! Come be our witnesses!" I yell at Riley and Alec.

"Oh my god, are you fucking serious?" Riley screams.

"Yes!" HB yells back as she pulls me through the doors to the chapel.

"Howdy folks. What can I do for you tonight?" The crusty old cowboy says as he leers at Bella.

"We want to get married but we need a jewelry store first. Is there one nearby?" she asks, bouncing on her toes, and she's braless. I'm sure you can guess where the cowboy was staring.

"We have a selection of rings here at the chapel." He tells her, still staring at her tits.

"Hey grandpa, my face is up here." She snaps her fingers at him and that is just one of the reasons why I'm marrying this girl while we're drunk in Las Vegas.

"Sorry, ma'am." he says sheepishly.

"Well they are pretty fucking awesome, but you still shouldn't be staring, it's rude. Now can you show us the rings you have please?" Bella says as she's cupping her boobs, making the cowboy choke on his Copenhagen.

He just points since he's still choking. He leads us into another room and surprisingly they have a decent assortment of rings to choose from.

"Eeeeee... I want that one!" HB screams and she's bouncing again.

"Honey Bee! Stop fucking bouncing! Jesus Christ!" I whisper to her.

"No, he's tucked as snug as a bug in rug inside your pants E-Baby." she laughs, while rubbing her palm on the JC in question.

"Fuck my life." I say to myself.

"How about, fuck your wife instead?" she says, linking her arms around my neck and biting on her bottom lip.

"I love you HB. Now let's do this already so I can get to the fucking my wife part." I say, kissing her chastely and pinching her ass.

She picks out a fucking pink ring. Well it's actually a thick platinum band with a single round pink solitaire diamond nestled in the middle. It's beautiful and so perfectly Bella that it's ridiculous. I picked a simple black brushed tungsten band.

"You two want a themed wedding?" The creepy cowboy asks.

"What kind do you have?" Bella wants to know.

After he lists off all of their different packages HB and I look at each other, with matching cheesy grins on our faces and say, "Bond, James Bond."

"I could totally be a Bond Girl." Bella says, jutting her hip out and running her fingers seductively across her collarbones.

"And I could be James Bond. I'm a total badass." I say, ignoring the snickers coming from Riley.

"Alright, let's get this mission started shall we?" the cowboy asks and we all laugh at him.

After we finish up all the legal mumbo jumbo in their little office we step out and the cowboy takes me and Alec to the front of the little chapel where the James Bond wannabe is waiting for us. The 007 theme music starts to play and there is a fog machine at the door. I can't help but laugh at how cheesy this is.

The door opens and Bella walks in holding onto Riley's arm. She's fucking beautiful and I know she doesn't look any different than she did 5 minutes ago, but that's not the fucking point. She's about to become my wife and I have the sudden urge to bounce around like she was earlier.

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is marriage. Because your love is as cool as a vodka martini-shaken, not stirred." Faux 007 says and we all crack up again.

"Edward, please repeat after me."

"Isabella, I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife. Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life."

"Isabella, please repeat after me."

"Edward, I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband. Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.

"By the power vested in me by the State of Nevada, I know pronounce you husband and wife. Edward, you can kiss your bride now." Faux 007 tells me.

I pull Bella towards me and lay a big wet kiss on her, dipping her backwards with the force of it and thrusting my tongue into her mouth.

"Get a room ya fucking pervs!" Riley says.

After our impromptu little make out session we take lots of pictures and then wait for the DVD and the disc of the photos to be finished. They gave us complimentary Martinis while we wait and those things are fucking nasty. I don't know how anyone can drink them. After we are all set, we take our goodie bag and head off to our hotel.

The first thing I notice as we walk into the casino entrance is Jasper. He's standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and he looks... Mad? Like really mad. Alice is smiling like she won the damn lottery and is bouncing much like Bella was at the chapel. At least she's wearing a bra.

"What the fuck, Edward?" Jasper booms from like 30 feet away and Alice frowns while smacking him on the chest.

I wait until we get closer to them before I talk.

"What's the problem, bro?" I ask, curious.

"What's the problem? Really Edward?" he says as he grabs my left hand. "That's the motherfucking problem, dickhead!"

Whoa, he's really mad. I figured he would at least be happy for me. I was a hundred percent sure that Alice is the one who would've been pissed. But her and Bella and Rose are over there hugging and screaming and jumping around. Emmett is just smiling as usual.

"Congrats Wardo." he says as sits down at a penny machine called Hex Breakers, putting a $10 bill in it.

"Why are so you mad? I thought you'd be happy for me. And how did you even know?" I ask, still not understanding his anger.

"Riley called us while you and HB were signing all the paperwork. We were able to watch it live on Rosie's laptop. I am happy for you Wardo but I'm upset because I wasn't there. I'm your brother, your fucking twin, and I should have been there." he trails off, sighing.

Well shit. I didn't even think about any of that.

"I'm sorry man. I'm drunk and I just didn't think about anyone else when Bella suggested we do it. I'm glad that Riley thought to call you so you could watch it at least." I say, frowning.

"I'll get over it I guess. I am happy for you though. You and HB are great together. At least we can help each other remember our anniversaries since they are back to back." he laughs pulling me in for a hug.

"Yeah, that's true." I tell him, pounding him on the back.

"I'll tell you this though, Mom is gonna flip her shit and kick your fucking ass." he tells me, laughing loudly.

"Shit!" I forgot how she felt about sleazy drive thru chapels and Elvis impersonators. I'll use the argument that it was not a drive thru chapel and was surprisingly non-sleazy. And we got married by James Bond, not Elvis. Fuck, she's gonna kill me.

"You're a dead man!" Emmett tells me followed by him and Riley laughing their asses off.

"I'll deal with Mama Masen. She loves me and I'll tell her that I got you drunk and took advantage of you. Kay? You'll die another day!" HB says and then snorts.

"Get it? Die Another Day? Cause we just got married by James Bond?" She snorts again.

"You're such a nerd sometimes, but I love you for it." I tell her, swooping in for a kiss.

"Take me to bed, husband! I've been saving myself for this night my whole life." She says and now it's my turn to snort.

"Oh yeah? Does that mean you're going to let me fuck you in the ass, wife? Because that is the only thing you have been keeping from me." I tell her, not really serious.

"You'd want to do that?" she asks with genuine curiosity.

"Bella, I'm a dude! I want to stick my dick in all of your openings." I tell her.

"Hmmm... I'll have to think about it. Not tonight though because Madge is ready to confess her sins to JC." she tells me.

"I'm cool with that." We've never discussed butt sex and I really didn't think she'd be interested, but fuck - pun intended - I'll take a maybe.

"Yuck! You two are entirely too open about that shit." Jasper says.

"Dude, you're one to talk! Don't even get me started on the shit I've heard through the walls at home. That's my baby sister man! Yuck to you." Emmett says, sticking his tongue out at Jasper.

"You're all a bunch of prudes!" Riley says as we head towards the elevators.

We all managed to get rooms on the same floor so when we get to floor 16, we all part ways, Ham, Lita, Riley and Alec to the right and the rest of us to the left.

"Have a nice evening Mr. And Mrs. Masen. AHHHHH! We're gonna be sisters tomorrow Bella!" Alice screeches, before practically tackling Bella again.

As soon as we walk in the door to our room I attack. I push her forward until her body is pressed against the couch and I bend her over the arm and drag her minuscule dress up and over her hips. I run my palms reverently over the smooth, bare expanse of her ass. She has panties on but they are like a piece of fishing line with a measly triangle of lace attached. They're sexy.

"Oh god! Touch me Wardo. Touch me like a husband should." She tells me breathily, but still manages to giggle.

"You're such a bitch, HB!" I tell her, lightly smacking her ass, and then I rub my covered erection into her ass crack.

"You feel what you do to me, wife?" I say, still rubbing. The friction is good.

"Fuck!" She whispers, pushing back into me.

I unlatch my belt and take my pants down. I leave them pooled at my ankles and pull my boxers down just enough for my cock to spring free. I push her panties to the side and rub the head of my cock up and down her slit.

"You want it Honey Bee?" I ask her, leaning over her and whispering in her ear.

"Mmmmm... God... Please... Stop teasing me Edward... Fuck me. Hard. Unhhh..." She says between loud moans and heavy pants.

I slap each of her ass cheeks with my cock before I slam into her without any more hesitation. I brutally pound into her and am thankful for the overstuffed arms on this couch. She's taking it like a champ and is even pushing back into me. She's also being incredibly loud and it's sending me to the edge faster than I'd like to get there.

"Oh fuck... Oh yes... Shit... Right there baby... Just like that... Harder..." She says, grunting.

Who knew grunting could be so fucking hot?

"God damn baby! I'm too close already. I need to stop for a minute." I say pulling out of her. I don't give her any time to gripe at me because I turn her around and sit her on the arm of the couch, drop to my knees and dive in.

Her little fingers dig right into my hair pushing my face harder into her pussy. I slide two fingers into her as I suck her clit into my mouth. I'm rubbing my cock against the couch for friction and I work her good and plenty for about 37 seconds before she cums. She shudders violently and falls back onto the couch.

"Fuck E-Baby. You're so good at that shit." she says, smiling with her eyes closed.

I toe off my shoes and step out of the pants puddle that is around my ankles. I push my boxer briefs down as I walk around to the front of the couch. I don't say anything as I stand over her and start stroking my cock, staring at her, at my wife. I smile.

She finally looks up at me and her eyes darken as she watches my hand lazily move up and down my length.

"That's so sexy Wardo. Why have we never jack and jilled in front of each other before?" She asks.

"I don't know. Want to now?" I ask. I'm torn because I might only be able to cum once. Do I want to be the one making me cum or do I want Bella to do it? Ah fuck it!

"Touch yourself Honey Bee." I tell her.

She swings her legs off the arm of the couch so she is sitting facing me. She pulls her dress over her head and tosses it behind her before slipping off her panties. She slouches down and sets her feet on the coffee table. I'm standing in between her spread legs. She moves both hands down to her pussy and, using her left hand, she spreads her lips.

"Holy fuck. You'll kill me one of these days, HB. I swear on it." I tell her, never removing my eyes from where she's touching herself.

She sticks her pointer and middle fingers into her mouth. After a moment she removes them and starts to rub back and forth over her clit. Her back instinctively arches forward, pushing her breasts out. I bend my knees a bit and reach down to twist her nipple ring with my left hand.

That's right. I convinced her to get her nipples pierced a few months back and let me just say that it's fucking badass. But the "Vegas" themed barbells she picked out for us still make me laugh. I lose my rhythm and she smirks at me, knowing I'm giggling over our matching pink and blue barbells with little dice on the ends.

"They're cute Wardo." She tells me, letting her fingers slip further down.

"Whatever. That's fucking cute." I say, nodding in the general direction of where Madge is getting the rub down.

"Start tugging on that shit, E-Baby" she tells me as she dips her two fingers into herself.

I lick my palm and start stroking again. She has a pretty good rhythm going. Dip in, thrust three times, pull out, circle three times, dip in, thrust three times, pull out, circle three times... You see the pattern?

I'm mesmerized and when she arches almost completely off the couch and grunts through her clenched teeth, I explode. I have no control over anything and frankly I'm surprised that I'm still standing. I guess I closed my eyes because when I open them Bella doesn't look too pleased.

"Dude! Aim that shit!" She says.

"I'm sorry HB! You caught me off guard and it just sort of came out of nowhere."

She has cum everywhere; in her hair, on her chest, her wrists, her thighs, a dab on her cheek and her toes. Yes, her toes.

"Hey Bella? Remember the night we met?" I ask her with a shit eating grin on my face.

"Yeah." she says narrowing her eyes at me.

"I vaguely recall you saying that you wanted me to cum on your toes. Did you not?" I say, with the grin still plastered to my face.

"Ewww! That's gross Edward." She says as she stands up, leaning in for a kiss.

I gasp as he rubs her cheek on mine and feel the stickiness left behind. Then she links her arms around my midsection, allowing her body to touch me from thighs to tits.

"I can't believe you just did that. I'm covered in cum now." I say, not really caring.

"Oh! It's okay for me to be covered in cum, but not you?" she says, leaning back so she can look at me.

I lean down and grip her thighs, pulling her up so she can wrap her legs around my waist. I walk us towards the bathroom so we can clean up.

"Well, I don't fucking care. I've cum on myself many times. I doubt it is as sexy as when you're covered in cum though." I say.

"Hmphf. Well it was extremely sexy watching you jack off. Next time I want you lying down though so that when you cum it lands all over your chest and stomach. That's sexy." she says, running her tongue in the divot under my bottom lip. She has a thing for that spot.

We take a quick shower to clean ourselves up and head to bed. We have to be rip roaring and ready to go by 10am tomorrow morning or Alice will kill us both, best man and maid of honor be damned.

After we lie down and cover up with the ridiculously soft down comforter I roll over on top of her, planting little kisses all over her face and neck and chest. I circle my hips into her and within a few seconds I'm hard and ready for her again.

"Again baby?" she says, arching that damn bitch brow of hers.

"Again." I say, sliding into her slowly.

"I fucked you hard and then jizzed all over you, now I want to love you." I say, kissing her passionately.

"I love you." she says, gasping beautifully.

"I love you too." I say, thrusting softly.

"So much." she says, tightening her hold around my shoulders.

"More than anything." I say, licking from her shoulder to her jaw.

"I'm so happy you're my husband." she says against my cheek, getting more breathless as my thrusting increases.

"I've never been happier than when you said 'Let's get married, Wardo'" I tell her, kissing her with all the love I possess inside.

"Husband." She moans, scraping her short nails down my back.

"Wife." I say, thrusting faster, harder, deeper.

"Oh god! Forever Edward." She says as her orgasm washes over her. The contraction of her muscles sends me flying.

"Forever baby." I groan.

"Forever." We say together, ending with a sweet kiss.

I run to the bathroom and wet a wash cloth with warm water and clean Bella up before collapsing on the bed next to her. I lean over and kiss her, telling her I love her again before rolling on to my side. I smile as she sidles up to my back and slings her arm over my waist. I love that we backwards spoon. I kiss her palm and then fall into a deep, blissful sleep.

~The End, again!~

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><p><strong>AN: Time for a big round of THANKS! To my two beta's LovinRob and DannysMom, you made this possible and I love you both to pieces. Bannerday for being awesome and sending me a pile of your readers. Having one of my favorite authors read, review and recommend my story was a major highlight of this writing adventure. Caz, I love you just because. Grabadietcoke for your acceptance. To everybody who has been with me from the beginning and to all those who were late to this party. To all the peeps that have reviewed. To all the peeps that haven't reviewed. I have met some amazing people throughout this journey and I hope that if and when I write anything new I'll be able to hold your interest again. I'm forgetting shit and I'm rambling so… Yeah. THANK YOU! There will be outtakes but they will be posted separate from this story so make sure you have me on alert. And the possibility of a sequel is just that at this point, a possibility. But anything is possible right?**

**Real quick mention about my one-shots again:  
>Watch - Beyond the Pale 2 Contest<br>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Beyond_the_Pale_Contest_Entries/83159/14/0/1/  
>Voting opens on November 28.<strong>

**Season of Our Discontent Anonymous Angst Contest.  
>www(dot)fanfiction(dot)netu/3142288/  
>Voting opens on November 25.<strong>

**One last time for shits and giggles, love it or hate it, let me know please  
>and as always thanks for reading.<strong>


	22. Outtake  1 – Riley

**A/N: I'm baaaack! I've missed you all terribly and I've been beside myself without this motley crew of characters. So here is the first outtake, it is Riley's POV of the night he met Alec. In other words, it is slash and very lemontastic at that. So if you don't like the crossing of swords, please skip-a-rooni this outtake. I'm gonna shoot for Christmas for the next outtake, but I make no promises, my work schedule is a beeotch this time of year. Also, 50 points to anyone who can pick out the obscure song lyric that I threw in. I was jamming out while writing this and it just fit perfectly so I had to use it. Happy hunting! And I lied about posting separately, the outtakes will be included with the story I've decided. Doesn't matter does it? **

**I have been epic fail at review replies. I'll get to them, that I will promise you, but for now, THANK YOU! **

**To my sisters from other misters, LovinRob and DannysMom, you know why!**

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><p><strong>Last Friday Night Outtake - Riley<strong>

**Vampires Suck**  
><strong>October 31, 2011<strong>

"What the fuck are you supposed to be anyway?" Edward asks me.

"You're such a dude." I tell him with an exaggerated roll of my eyes.

"Ummm... Last time I checked, you were a dude too, punkass." He tells me, making me weak with that goddamn crooked grin of his.

He has his arms crossed over his chest and I can't help but stare. I have a serious crush on the man's forearms. They are pornographic.

"Nice jumpsuit, Maverick." I snort, but he looks delicious.

"It's a flight suit." He tells me.

"Whatever. And I'm Damon Salvatore by the way." I tell him as I walk out of the bathroom towards the door to our hotel room.

"Who?" He asks again, like the stupid boy that he is. Who doesn't watch The Vampire Diaries?

Wardo, Ham and I drove out to San Diego yesterday. Alice is hosting her second annual Halloween Bash and since everyone is all coupled off now, except my fine ass of course, we all decided to come out for the party.

Its disgusting couple themed costumes all around. Ham is King Leonidas and Lita is Queen Gorgo and they look stunning together. Jasper is wrapped so tight around Alice's finger. I laughed heartily when I saw him, but they look cute as Princess Jasmine and Aladdin.

Then my sweet E-Baby is trying to kill me with his Top Gun flight suit and aviator sunglasses. HB is a super sexy Charlie with her knee high boots, super short skirt and tiny bomber jacket. And then there's me, Damon Salvatore, with no Stefan to couple with. Pout.

The party is in an empty warehouse across the street from Alice's shop. The windows are painted over with black paint and there is practically zero light in here. Bursts of bright white light from a strobe and the purplish glow from the black lights are the only sources of illumination for the large building. There is music pounding loudly mixed in with spooky sounds. There is also a low lying layer of fog on the ground.

I have my hand fisted into the back of Edward's flight suit so as not to lose him. I don't know any of these people and don't want to get separated from him and HB. She's leading the way to somewhere and once my eyes get used to the darkness I see an eerie green glow and realize that it's coming from the bar and that's where we are headed.

Immediately my eyes zone in on the bartender. He's fucking hot. Dirty blonde hair tousled into a chaotic mess. I can't tell what color his eyes are from this distance but it appears they are rimmed with a smoky shadow, much like my own. He has a snug fitting brown v-neck tee shirt on and his biceps are flexing nicely with his motions. He's shaking a stainless steel cocktail shaker in one hand and popping the cap on a beer with his other. My hand numbly falls away from Edwards back and I can do nothing but gape at the glorious piece of man-meat in front of me.

I'm brought back to reality by a loud snickering. I look over where the sound came from and it's Bella, with a huge-assed grin on her face.

"See something you like, Twinkie?" she says, wagging her eye brows at me.

"Who the fuck is that? And yes, I like, I like a fucking lot." I say, swallowing the drool that's about to dribble down my chin.

"That is Alec. He's friends with Lita's cousin and, now that I think about it, your perfect match."

I'm still stunned speechless but I nod my head to let her know I heard her. I yelp when she smacks my ass though.

"Go get him Tiger. RAAAWWWRRR!" she tells me, snuggling back into Edwards arms. Bitch.

I'm not usually one to be shy or get nervous, but I am. I wipe my sweaty palms on my thighs and then stick my hands in the pockets of my low slung dark denim jeans. I take a deep breath and saunter up to the bar, my best man-eating smirk on my face. He falters and almost drops the 4 bottles of beer he's holding when he sees me, but he immediately catches himself and smirks back at me.

He sets the beers on the counter without even looking at the people standing there; his eyes are still on me. I lean over the bar to get a better look at him. He's about my height, with muscular shoulders and a slim waist. He's also wearing low slung dark denim jeans and a pair of black boots. After getting a full view of him in addition to his smoky black eyes, I have a fairly good idea of who he is dressed as.

He starts towards me and smiles, a full on toothy grin and I match it with a toothy grin of my own. We both have fangs glued to our canines and I shiver just thinking about him nipping along my neck with them still in place.

"Damon." he says with a voice like fine grit sandpaper.

"Stefan." I say back, my voice surprisingly husky.

"Mmmmm... Can I get you a drink?" he asks, hiding his plump bottom lip underneath his tongue.

"Heineken, please." I say, staring at his mouth.

He turns and I'm now staring at his ass. I subconsciously lick my lips and feel my cock stirring to life.

"Here you go. I'm Alec by the way." He says, holding his hand out to me.

"Riley and it's a pleasure." I say, grasping his hand. We hold on for way longer than necessary, but neither of us seem to care.

"Gianna, I'll be back in a few, gonna take a quick break." He says to the skank at the other end of the bar.

He doesn't let go of my hand as he comes around the bar to stand in front of me. He quickly turns me around and places his hands on either side of my waist, pushing me towards the makeshift dance floor.

After we make our way a few layers deep into the crowd of people, he brings one of his hands completely around my middle and places his palm flat across my lower stomach. His other hand grabs one of mine and places it behind me and on his thigh. I squeeze it and push my ass back into him. He groans into my ear and pulls me back against him harder.

"Fuck." He whispers into my neck.

"Yes please." I say, bringing my other hand up and wrapping it around his neck.

We start to sway to the beat of the music. All I am able to focus on is the pulsing rhythm and the feeling of his hard body touching my own from knees to shoulders. I've been with many guys but I have never felt anything like this before. This is more. I gasp at my realization of finding that elusive more. I've spoken about 12 words to the man, but I know.

"You feel that, baby?" I ask him, turning my face into his neck.

"Hell yeah I do." He says, his sweet breath washing over my face.

I lift my head and look into his eyes. He brings his hand up and cups it around my throat before he gently places his lips on top of mine. We both moan simultaneously. This is a kiss, a real fucking kiss. Everything else before this pales in comparison. I lick along his bottom lip and he opens for me. Our tongues meet and dance together like they have known each other forever.

I turn in his arms and run my hands up his biceps and shoulders and then his neck before cupping both of his cheeks and tilting my head to deepen the kiss. He obliges my silent request and starts to intensify his kissing skills. He moves his hands down to cup my ass. He pulls me into him and I can feel him, hard and insistent against my own arousal. A loud crack and a groan from Alec brings us both back to reality.

"What the fuck?" he says, rubbing his ass cheek and looking over his shoulder.

Rosalie is standing there with Alice and Bella on her flanks, all with their arms crossed over their chests and matching grins on their beautiful faces.

"I see you two have finally met and skipped all the getting to know you crap." she says, and they all giggle.

"Why have you been hiding him from me Lita?" Alec says, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"He's the one who never wanted to come." Rosalie says to him.

"I bet he wants to come now." Bella says.

I gape at her innuendo laden comment, before I laugh loudly.

"Damn straight Honey Bitch! And I shall, several times, if I have anything to say about it." I say as I pull Alec's face back to mine, kissing him again.

"I have to get back." Alec says to me, looking a little crestfallen.

"I bartend at home, I'll help." I tell him.

"You don't have to do that. Go have fun." He says, rubbing his fingers against my neck and dipping into the v of my black v-neck tee shirt.

"With these losers?" I say, pointing at the girls over his shoulder. "No thanks, I'm all yours baby."

"Gee thanks Twinkie." Alice says, bitch brow firmly in place.

"You know I love your asses, but I think I love his ass more. Sorry bitches." I say with a smile and a wink.

I follow Alec back to the bar and we spend the next several hours working in tandem with one another, sharing secret touches and lustful looks. I've never had so much fun behind a bar before in my life and before I know it, it's 3am and time to clean up.

"You guys going to go with HB and Lita? I ask Ham and Wardo.

"Why? You need the room for something, you whore?" Ham asks.

"You know this beefcake." I say, slapping him on the chest.

"Yeah, it's fine. I didn't even want to get a room, but I guess it's a good thing we did." Wardo says, pretending to gag.

"You're such a dick." I tell him, giving him a shove.

He grabs my hand and pulls me into his chest. He wraps his arm around my neck, effectively putting me in a headlock. He then gives me a noogie. I used to try to fight him off when he did this but have since learned that is only an act of futility and just prolongs this particular brand of torture.

"You know I love you Twinkie." He says, kissing my forehead.

"I love you too, even though you're a bastard." I say, pinching his ass.

After goodbyes all around, Alec and I hop in a cab headed back to my hotel. He lives with three other dudes so he had no objections to coming back to the room with me. We make out like teenage boys in the back of the cab the entire way there. Then again as we make our way through the lobby of the hotel. Then in the elevator. Then against the wall outside my room. My shirt is already off and his pants are unbuttoned.

"Inside Alec." I say.

"Yesssss!" He says, sticking his hands down the back of my pants.

"Not inside my pants you idiot, the room, inside the room." I pant out.

He grabs the key card out of my back pocket and inserts it in the slot on the door. Once inside the room he pulls his shirt over his head. Fuck. Me. He's gorgeous. He bends over to untie his boots and then pulls them off. He pulls the button fly open the rest of the way on his jeans and shimmies them down his hips. I can do nothing but watch until he's left standing in nothing but a pair of Spiderman boxer briefs and his socks.

"Come on baby." He says, now standing directly in front of me.

He pops open the button on my jeans and slowly pulls my zipper down, grazing his knuckles along the length of my shaft. He drops to his knees in front of me and unties my boots. I lift first my left foot so he can pull the boot off and then do the same for the right. He then pulls my jeans down and I step out of them as they hit my ankles. I'm left in my tighty whitey's and socks. I hate socks when I don't have shoes on, so I lift each foot to remove them, wiggling my toes in the plush carpeting.

"I like these." I say, finally breaking the silence.

"You don't think I'm dumb?" he asks, shy all of a sudden.

"They're sexy." I say, tracing my finger along the outline of his cock and Spiderman's face in turn.

He inhales sharply when I stick my pointer and middle fingers in the slit on the front of his underwear. I gently run the tips of my fingers along the length of his shaft and up around the head. I cannot stand it another second. I drop to my knees and pull his boxers down his legs. I take a second to view the perfection that is bouncing lightly in front of my face before plunging my mouth down on to him.

"Oh... Oh fuck... Goddamn... Oh babe... Ri..." Is the nonsense that spews from Alec's mouth and I smile around the cock in my mouth.

I fondle his balls and tickle the soft skin behind his balls and suck on his dick like my life depends on it. He's gripping my hair tightly in one hand and has the fingers of his other hand gently massaging my jaw and throat as he thrusts into my mouth.

"Fu... Oh... God... Shit... Mmmmm... I'm... I'mma come... Ri babe... FUCK!" He roars as he coats my throat with his spunk. I continue to swallow around the head of his cock, amused with how it makes his entire body jerk and convulse.

Pleased with myself, I flop back onto my ass and prop myself up on my palms. I just smile at Alec as he kicks his boxers off his feet. He's totally naked except for his black socks that are pulled up to his calves.

"You're so hot Alec." I say, taking my time to peruse his naked body.

"You too Riley." He says, dropping to his knees in front of me.

He crawls his way over to me and straddles my lap before kissing me. I sit up and wrap my arms around him, hugging him to my chest. He kisses his way over my cheek and down onto my neck where he proceeds to nip me with the fangs. Oh the motherfucking fangs! My cock is pulsing between us and he must feel it because he starts to grind himself against me harder.

He backs off of me and pulls the band of my underwear down. I lift my hips so he can remove them the rest of the way. He sucks my toes into his mouth and then kisses his way up my body, paying particular attention to the muscular indentations on my hips.

"Flip over, babe." He says and I willingly oblige.

I'm on my hands and knees and he molds his body to mine, kissing across my back and shoulders. I can't help the whimper that leaves my mouth when he pulls away. It's quickly replaced with a loud moan when I feel his large hands spreading my ass cheeks and his warm, wet tongue laving over and around my puckered hole.

I start to push back onto his face when he probes the tip of his tongue into and out of me. I'm not usually one for rimming but this shit feels fucking good and my panting moans are proof of that. His hand snakes around my waist and he starts to tug on my cock.

"Holy fuck! Don't stop... Please... Please don't stop Alec." I say.

He strokes me a few more times and plunges his tongue as far into my ass as he can and I paint the hotel carpet with my jizz.

I fall onto my side, trying to catch my breath. He laughs lightly as he hovers over me. I roll onto my back and pull him down for a kiss. I moan at the taste of myself on his tongue.

"You a top or bottom babe?" he asks, rocking his hips into mine.

"Both. You?" I say, panting against his lips and arching my hips up into him.

"Same. Mmmmm... But I'd like to fuck you right now if you'll let me?" He asks with a forceful thrust.

He's hard again and I can already feel the stirring in my limp dick.

"Please." I beg.

"Not on the floor though, let's go to the bed." he says lifting off of me and pulling me up to a sitting a position.

Alec jumps to his feet and reaches down to pull me up as well. Both standing, we head over to the bed. I dig into my toiletry case that's on the nightstand and grab the bottle of lube and strip of condoms that I don't leave home without. I toss them on the bed.

"You always this prepared?" Alec asks me.

"I'm like a motherfucking boy scout." I tell him with a shrug of my shoulders.

I leap onto the bed and crook my finger at him, beckoning him to come to me. He climbs on the bed and walks on his knees over to me. When he's before me I rise up onto my knees as well. I run my hands all over his body, his thighs, his abs, his back, his pecs, his shoulders. When my hands make it to his neck I stop and lean in for a kiss. He's brushing his fingertips in a soft swirling motion on my lower back.

"Fuck. I've never wanted anyone as bad as I want you right now Riley." He says, moving his mouth down onto my Adam's apple and nipping there, with the goddamn fangs. I may not let him remove those fuckers. I love them.

"You have me baby. Take me. Take me to a place only you can." I say, laying back down on my back and spreading my legs for him.

He grabs a condom and I watch slack jawed as he rolls the latex onto his beautiful cock. He grabs behind my knees and hoists my legs up settling himself on his knees right up against me and then letting my legs fall over the top of his thighs. He grabs the lube, pops the lid and just squirts it between our legs. I laugh and he smiles. He grabs my dick and gives it a few good tugs before slipping his hand further down and circling his fingers against my waiting hole.

Once his fingers are thoroughly coated with the lube he slides one long finger into me, moving in a circle pattern. When he feels my muscles relax he adds another finger, using the same circular motion but now adding a scissor motion as well. Again, when I relax he adds a third finger.

I relax much quicker that time and whine when he pulls them all the way out. I watch as he strokes his cock making sure he's fully lubed up. He places his left hand next to my head and uses his other hand to line himself up with me.

"Ready?" he asks me.

"Please. Yes please." I plead with him.

He looks me in the eye as pushes into me, slowly. He squeezes his eyes shut and scrunches his face up. He's adorable.

"You okay?" I ask him, running my fingers across his furrowed brow.

"Yeah, you feel fantastic, better than anything. God babe... I can't... I'm not... I don't think I'll last very long." he says through gritted teeth.

"It's ok. I want to feel you moving inside me, please. Please Alec. Please." I beg and plead and pant as I squirm underneath him.

He drops his face into the crook of my neck and puts both hands on my hips. Holding on to me tightly he pulls out slowly and slams back into me. We both groan. He tightens his grip and I'll probably have fingerprint bruises around my hips tomorrow but I could care less right now.

"Oh fuck yes! Fuck me good, fuck me long, fuck me numb." I tell him, sticking my fingers into the bend of his knee so I can pull him into me.

He gets into a rhythm, slowly pull out and slam back in roughly. I move one hand to my cock and start to stroke with the same rhythm he's working, slowly stroke up, twist around the head and pull down hard. His eyes are trained on my hand and its movement. His mouth is slack and his eyes are so heavy with lust and want and need that they are but mere slits and he looks fucking sexy.

"Holy mother of fuck, you're... You just... Shiiiiiit... Coming..." He says through his clenched teeth.

His blowjob 'O' face was spectacular but his sex 'O' face is just... There are no words. The tendons in his neck are pulled taut, the muscles in his arms and his shoulders and abs are flexed and his eyes are shut tight and his mouth is open but with a small smile lifting the corners of his lips.

That look along with the feeling of him pulsing inside of me sends me over the edge. My cum squirts all the way up to my chin and I continue to pull up on my dick, milking it for all it's worth. I laugh cause that's what I do when I have an orgasm, and the fact that there is jizz dripping off my chin doesn't help with the humor factor.

"You're gonna kill me. Your laughs are making your muscles spasm around me and I'm getting hard again." Alec says, dropping down and licking the dripping spunk off my chin.

"Oh Jesus." I moan.

"Mmm, mmm good." He says, licking his lips.

He sits up and grabs the base of his rapidly softening cock along with the condom and pulls himself slowing out of me. I whine at the feeling of emptiness. He pulls the condom off and tosses it into the trash can under the nightstand. He then flops back down onto me and the feeling of my cum squishing between us makes us both laugh.

"Let's take a quick shower ok?" I ask.

"Sure." He says.

We make our way into the bathroom and makeout while waiting for the water to get hot enough. We both like to take super hot showers which is awesome because all the other guys I've showered with only liked the water to be warm and that just feels cold to me. When the water is perfectly scalding, we get in and wash each other clean. It's the most intimate shower I've ever taken and there was not even any sexual activity involved.

When we're done we dry off and practically fall into bed. I pull the covers up over the both of us, to our chins, and we tangle ourselves together, falling asleep quickly.

What feels like only minutes later I wake up to the sound of voices talking in the main area of the room. I hear Ham because that man has no concept of an inside voice.

"It smells like sex in here!" Emmett says.

"No shit, Sherlock. When have you ever known Riley to go home with someone and not have sex with him?" Edward says.

I just smile. I'm a whore and I know it. I snuggle into Alec. He's different though. I want more with him. I want this, snuggling and waking up together and falling asleep together and all that lovey dovey bullshit with him. I'm so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear anyone enter the bedroom before it was too late. I feel the rush of cold air first.

"Rise and shine lazy mother fu... OH GOD! MY EYES! I'M BLIND. Get some fucking sun on those ass cheeks Riley! Jesus Christ." Ham screeches out and I just shake my bare ass at him, laughing.

He haphazardly throws the comforter back over us and I hear his thunderous footfalls heading back to the living area, quickly.

"It's your fault Emmett! Who barges in on someone when they are sleeping AND pulls the covers off of them? Dumbass! And my ass is pretty, motherfucker!" I yell.

"Sure is." Alec yawns, grabbing my ass to prove his point.

"Get dressed naked people unless you want Alice to come harass you. We're meeting for breakfast in 10 minutes." Wardo tells me from the doorway.

"Morning E-Baby." I smile.

"Morning Ri." He smiles looking between me and Alec.

He knows. I can tell just by looking at him, with that mischievous glint in his beautiful eyes, that he knows I'm in deep. I roll over on top of Alec and kiss him soundly.

"Come to breakfast with us?" I ask.

"I'll go anywhere with you, babe." he tells me, kissing my nose.

I roll off of him and pull the covers over my head, kick my feet and squeal with delight. I found my more, finally.

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><p><strong>AN: I love these boys, all of these boys. I'm kind of sad that Jasper didn't come out to play, guess he didn't have anything to say this go round or maybe he was embarrassed by the Aladdin costume Alice made him wear. Anywho… I have pictures that I used for inspiration. Visit my lame ass blog if you would like to see them: lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**Any guesses on the song lyric that I snuck in there?**

**Thanks for reading, now show me the love! LOL!**


	23. Outtake 2 – Edward

**AN: Merry Christmas my lovelies! Not much to say other than that. This is one of the outtakes most requested so I hope you all enjoy it. I'm still shitty at review replies, I blame my work schedule. I read and LOVE them all! Thank you.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

**LovinRob and DannysMom are the bitchinest betas around.**

**Peace out home skillets!**

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><p>Last Friday Night Outtake<br>Edward

Save a Horse, Ride Edward  
>September 17, 2011<p>

"I look like a douche bag!" I say to myself, scrubbing my face with my hands and adjusting the hat on my head.

I'm standing in the small bathroom of our room in Sedona. I barely manage to contain my snort at the ridiculous name of the place we're staying at. Boots and Saddles Bed and Breakfast. How fitting I think to myself as I look in the mirror again. I have a giant black cowboy hat on, no shirt and a pair of really fucking tight button-fly Levi's. I may pop the fucking buttons off if I get a boner, which I undoubtedly will at some point tonight and fairly quickly would be my guess. I drew the motherfucking line though at cowboy boots, so I'm barefoot.

Bella totally has me by the balls and I hope she appreciates the humiliation I'm putting myself through here for her. It hasn't been quite 3 months since we met the weekend of my birthday, but it feels like I've known the girl forever and I'd do anything to put a smile on her face, even if that means dressing up as a half naked cowboy. It is her birthday present after all. And it's not like she's the only one getting anything out of this particular deal. I will defintely be reaping the rewards of this gift.

It was technically my turn to go visit HB in San Diego, but I wanted to take her to Sedona for the weekend, so I convinvced her to come to Phoenix instead. I told her I'd make it worth her while. She quickly agreed. We drove up yesterday morning and spent the afternoon on a three hour Pink Jeep tour. During one of the pit stops we wandered off from the rest of the party. All of the bouncing around during the tour caused some of Bella's more bouncy parts to, well, bounce. And they practically bounced right the fuck out of her little white tank top. I've been hard for over an hour.

I'm dragging HB behind me and she's giggling at me, probably because I'm waddling. What? You try walking with a raging hard on then we'll talk. Once I can't hear the voices of the other people on our tour I start looking around for a place to do this. I see a crevice between two rocks and yank Bella in that direction. She's still giggling.

I turn towards her and lift her up, leaning her against the rock. The angle is perfect and she is leaning back slightly. I waste no time and attack her. I nip at her neck while I pull the neckline of her tank down over her tits. I admire the white lace of her bra for about 2 seconds before I push down the cups. I suck one nipple roughly into my mouth and squeeze her other breast in my hand. She arches her back, pushing her chest into me.

She plants her feet on the rock and lifts her hips, hiking her little cotton navy blue skirt up around her waist. She then moves to undo the belt on my khaki cargo shorts. She makes quick work of that and then before I know it she has my pants unbuttoned, unzipped and halfway down my thighs, along with my boxer briefs, and is stroking my cock.

"Oh fuck!" I moan out.

She grins and tugs on my dick, pulling me towards her and her awaiting pussy. She doesn't need to yank on me twice, I'll come willingly. Pun intended. She slides her tiny white lace panties to the side and presses my cock to her pussy and starts to shift her hips against me, keeping me tight against her with her palm. She's so wet it's like a fucking slip and slide and it's rather lovely. She presses her palm to my head and stops the slip and slide motion when I'm right there. She looks into my eyes and just gives me a slight nod while biting her lip. I push into her.

"This is gonna be quick and hard, baby." I tell her, setting a rhythm that is just that, quick and hard.

"Oh god! Oh god! Ohhhhhhhhmigod!" She keens out as I slam into her.

"Fuck HB." I grunt as she wraps her legs around my ass and squeezes.

She takes one of her breasts in her left hand and rolls her nipple around between her fingers. She pushes the fingers of her right hand into my mouth and after I suck on them for a few seconds she moves her hand down and twirls her now moistened fingertips around her clit.

It only takes her a few rough, circular swipes over her clit before she let's out a mostly soundless scream and tightens around me. I erratically pump into her four more times and my head falls back. But just as I'm starting to cum, HB pulls away from me and pushes me back. I hit the rock wall behind me and end up shooting my load all over the rock between her legs. I grab my dick and finish pulling my orgasm out of me.

"What the fuck, Honey Bee?" I ask her, still trying to catch my breath.

"Sorry Wardo, I didn't feel like spending the rest of the tour with your cum dipping down my legs." She says, shrugging.

"Oh. Well I guess I didn't think about that, but you could have warned me or something."

"I didn't even think about it until you started to cum. Sorry E-Baby." She says, straightening out her panties.

She hops off the rock and puts her tits away and pulls her skirt back down. She leans up on her tiptoes to kiss me.

"We should get back before they think we got eaten by mountain lions or something." She says, nodding her head in the direction of the jeep.

"Fairly certain we've been gone less than 10 minutes. Talk about a quickie. You're gonna give me performance anxiety HB." I say, tucking my shit back into my boxers and pulling my shorts up.

"Wardo, you have nothing to worry about in the performance department, quickie or otherwise. M'kay?" She tells me, smirking and smacking my ass as she walks by me.

And the tour guide totally knew what we were doing by the look he gave us when we ambled back to the group. I smile thinking about it.

"Waaaaaardo! What are you doing in there?" HB asks me from the other side of the bathroom door, breaking me out of my thoughts of yesterday.

"I'm almost done, but if you want your present you have to listen to me very carefully. Ok?"

If I'm going to do this her ass better listen to me for once.

"OK!" She practically shrieks and I can just picture her jumping up and down and tossing her head from side to side. She excites easily.

"Go to the nightstand by the bed and open the wrapped box in there." I instruct her.

She doesn't respond but a few seconds later I hear her ripping the paper off the small box.

"It's a sleep mask." She says, making it sound more like a question than a statement.

"Yes, now go sit in the chair by the window and put it on." I tell her.

"Why?" She wonders.

"Do you want your present HB?" I ask her.

"Yes, but..." She says, but I interrupt her.

"Then just do as you're told, HB." I tell her, smiling as I hear her huff on the other side of the door.

"Ok. It's on." She says, quieter than before so I know she is not near the door anymore.

"If I open this door and that mask isn't covering your eyes, this present will be no more. Do you understand me?" I question her.

"Yeeeeeeeees! God!" She whines and I smile again at her defiant tone.

I quietly open the door and peak my head through. I see Bella sitting in the chair with the zebra print sleep mask on her face, covering her eyes. I can't contain my grin. I tiptoe over to the night stand and stick my iPhone into the docking station provided by the bed and breakfast. I scroll through my iTunes library finding the song I need. I almost giggle out loud like a fucking girl but manage to hold it in. I queue the song and grab the remote control.

I walk over to Bella; she looks stunning in her strapless white eyelet dress and brown cowboy boots. I lean down, putting my hands on the armrests on either side of her. I lower my face into her neck, smelling her intoxicating scent and slowly running my nose up her jaw and around her ear. Her breath hitches and she whimpers.

"You ready, HB?" I whisper, my voice sounding gritty and heavy even to my own ears.

"Oh yes." She whispers, turning her head towards my face. I pull back a little so she can't kiss me. She huffs again and slumps back into the chair.

"You look beautiful Honey Bee." I tell her, kissing her neck right below her ear.

"You can take the mask off now." I tell her and start the song with the remote control.

She quickly pulls the mask off and blinks a few times, adjusting to the light again. When she sees me, she starts to squeal and bounce in the chair, clapping her hands.

_I'm just a bachelor  
>I'm looking for a partner<br>Someone who knows how to ride  
>Without even falling off<br>Gotta be compatible  
>Takes me to my limits<br>Girl when I break you off  
>I promise that you won't want to get off<em>

I pull the stupid hat further down on my head, covering my eyes a bit. Then I start to shimmy my hips side to side to the beat of the music. I'm no stripper so I'm not sure what to do with my hands so I just let them hang limply by my sides. I feel lame because I'm just shifting side to side. This can't be sexy.

_If you're horny, Let's do it  
>Ride it, My Pony<br>My saddle's waiting  
>Come and jump on it<em>

_If you're horny, Let's do it  
>Ride it, My Pony<br>My saddle's waiting  
>Come and jump on it<em>

"Touch yourself, Wardo." HB says breathlessly.

"Where?" I ask, tilting the hat up so I can see her.

"Anywhere. Everywhere. I don't care but keep the hat pulled down. You look sexy as fuck." She says, squirming a bit in her seat.

I pull the hat down again and bring my hands up and start to run them over my chest. I swirl my fingers around my nipples, twisting the blue barbells in the process. I can hear HB whimper and it spurs me on.

_Sitting here flossing  
>Peeping your steelo<br>Just once if I have the chance  
>The things I will do to you<br>You and your body  
>Every single portion<br>Send chills up and down your spine  
>Juices flowing down your thigh<em>

I move my hands lower and cup my junk, squeezing and rubbing my palm over my rapidly hardening cock.

"Turn around Wardo." HB demands.

I turn and start to shake my ass at her. I bend over and squeak before standing upright again. These pants are way too tight for that shit and it kind of pinched my cock. I move my hands down and around me and palm my ass cheeks.

_If you're horny, Let's do it  
>Ride it, My Pony<br>My saddle's waiting  
>Come and jump on it<em>

_If you're horny, Let's do it  
>Ride it, My Pony<br>My saddle's waiting  
>Come and jump on it<em>

I turn back to face her and pop the top button on my jeans, dipping my fingers into the waist band.

"Fuck! More please." She says, her jaw slack and her eyes heavy.

I continue to pop the buttons and smirk as her eyes widen. She realized that I'm going commando. There was no room for boxers in these pants anyway but her reaction makes it totally worthwhile. I pull my jeans open and run my fingers through the hair that trails down. I reach in and pull my cock out. I start to pump my hips forward and she laughs at me and the slapping sounds I'm making.

"You know I love it when you dick slap your own stomach E-Baby." She tells me, still laughing.

_If we're gonna get nasty, Baby  
>First we'll show &amp; tell<br>Till I reach your ponytail  
>Lurk all over and through you baby<br>Until I reach your stream  
>You'll be on my jockey team<em>

I continue to shimmy and shake and dick slap my stomach. HB's cheeks are getting flushed and her chest is starting to heave. I have a fine sheen of sweat all over my body now and it almost looks like I'm sparkling. I run my hands over my pecs and stomach, up and down, up and down, and then I bring my hands up and over my head.

I watch as HB slouches lower in the chair and spreads her legs wide before she pulls the skirt of her dress up. She dips her fingers into her panties and moans loudly as she starts to finger herself. She pulls her fingers out and crooks them at me, beckoning me to her.

_If you're horny, Let's do it  
>Ride it, My Pony<br>My saddle's waiting  
>Come and jump on it<em>

_If you're horny, Let's do it  
>Ride it, My Pony<br>My saddle's waiting  
>Come and jump on it<em>

I drop to my knees and crawl the short distance to her. She still has her wet fingers pointing towards me so I quickly place my mouth over them, sucking her juices off of them. She moans and whimpers and starts to lift her hips off the chair. Without removing her fingers from my mouth I slide her little pink panties off of her and push my jeans further down towards my knees.

I pull her fingers from my mouth and move my hands to her hips, pulling her so her ass is right on the edge of the chair. She lifts her legs and hangs them over the arms of the chair and my cock twitches at the sight of her spread out before me. I give my cock a few strokes. She's eyeing my cock like it's something to eat.

"Did you like that HB?" I ask her.

"Mmm hmm." Is all she responds with, never taking her eyes from my cock.

"You want this?" I ask her, shaking my dick at her.

"Mmm hmm." She's says again.

It's like she's in a trance, she's dicknotized.

"You alright HB?" I ask her.

Again, she only says, "Mmm hmm."

"Is that all you can say?" I'm starting to get concerned.

"I want..." She points to her pussy, "Your cock in me. Right the fuck now Wardo."

"And leave the hat on." She says, leveling me with her best 'don't even think about it' stare.

"Yes ma'am." I say, giving the hat on my head a little tilt. Like the real cowboys do.

I move closer to the chair so the fronts of my thighs are resting against it and line myself up with her entrance. I wrap my arms around her thighs and let my cock slide up and down her folds a few times before pushing into her.

"God damn you feel so good HB." I say.

She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and lets out the sexiest high pitch moan I've ever heard. She puts her hands up behind her and grabs onto the back of the chair, arching her back and causing the angle of my thrusting to shift. She practically screams at this new development.

"Oh my fuck. Right there. Harder. Right there. Oh god!" She growls through her teeth.

I don't dare move from this position. I thrust and thrust and my knees are killing me and my thighs are burning but none of it matters when out of nowhere Bella screams my name, loudly. She's not a screamer and that shit is hot and causes me to swell and spill inside her, much quicker than I'm proud to admit. I lurch forward and bury my face in her cleavage.

"Fucking shit! Will we ever last longer than 10 minutes, HB? Fuck it's good but not long enough." I pant into her tits.

"Yeah it's good. And you have amazing recovery time so it's okay when it's fast." She says, flicking the hat off my head and running her fingers through my hair.

"Did you like your present?" I ask her, still face first in her boobs.

"Best present ever. Thank you. Riley will be upset that I didn't take any pictures though." She says, giggling.

"I'll wear the hat for him sometime, but his viewing will include a shirt and no dancing." I tell her, finally lifting my face off her chest and kissing her.

"I wanna be there. He'll totally die!" She says laughing.

Shaking my head, I ask her, "Are you about ready to go to dinner?"

"Yeah." She says.

We both head into the bathroom and clean up. I change out of those tight ass jeans, despite the mass amounts of pouting on HB's part, in exchange for my usual v neck tee, cargo shorts and flip flops. We had a great dinner at a little Mexican cantina called Oaxaca Restaurant and ending up having a marathon round of sex that night, with multiple orgasms. No quickie in sight. It was almost as good as my birthday sex, almost.

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><p><strong>AN: Love me or hate me?<br>Have a wonderful holiday season, however you celebrate.  
>See you all next year! <strong>

**Mwah!**


	24. Outtake 3 – Bella

**A/N: Hello again. I'm finally getting around to posting this outtake. This was my contribution to the Fandom for Texas compilation so some of you may have read this already. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy a peek into Honey Bee's version of some of the more *ahem* important events of the night.** Everlasting thanks to my betas, LovinRob and DannysMom, for adding in all the words that I guess I only type out in my mind. Love you ladies! ** See you at the bottom.******

Fandom for Texas Wildfire Relief

Title: Last Friday Night Outtake

Author Penname: amandac3

Rating: MA/NC-17

Summary: (of the original story) Whipped cream flavored vodka, Justin Bieber, skinny dipping & Birthday Sex! Spend 24 hours in the life of Edward Masen. While celebrating their dirty thirty, twins Edward and Jasper, and their bestie, Emmett, carve a path of destruction through the city. This outtake is a snippet from Bella's POV.

Warnings: This story contains the following – cursing, drinking, face planting, giggling, blowing, stomach slapping, snorting and sexing.

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><p>I Only Wanna Give It To You<br>by Elle Varner featuring J. Cole

Cause I only wanna give it to you  
>And I want you more than a new pair of shoes<br>I only wanna give it to you  
>And I sure do hope that you feel like I do<p>

Yeah, love is good, what can I say?  
>I just don't know, my love wont trip for the weekend?<br>Here to stay for all of the seasons!  
>You're the weakness that I can't control!<p>

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><p><strong>June 19, 2011<strong>

**~5pm~**

I turn and look at myself in the bathroom mirror, again. I've never been one of those girls, the ones obsessed with their looks. _"Why now?"_ I wonder. I fiddle with my boring hair that won't do anything but wave. I glob another layer of mascara on my already over caked eyelashes and pinch my cheeks to give my skin some color.

"So Jasper said that him and the boys were having dinner at 6 tonight. I figured we could show up around 7." Alice is telling Lita and I this as she's ironing my shorts. Because clothes stand no chance of survival if I were to be manning that appliance.

Her mention of Jasper and "the boys" kicks my nerves up another notch. Well it's only one boy in particular that is causing my heart to beat funny. Edward. Jasper's twin brother. He's the reason I care all of a sudden, why I have become obsessed with my looks. It still baffles me that after almost 9 years of being friends with Alice I've yet to meet her boyfriend's twin brother. I've heard all about him though. I know he's a fire fighter and apparently a foul-mouthed sweetheart. Just my type. And he's drop dead gorgeous from the slew of pictures Alice has shown me recently.

She insists that Edward and I are a match made in heaven, and Jasper agrees with her. I'm newly single and I guess so is he. I dated Jake for about three years before he left me for some 18 year old tramp named Renesmee. What the fuck kind of name is that? Bastard. I'm not bitter or anything. I guess Edward walked in on his ex sucking her boss off. I think he got a shittier deal than me. At least I didn't see the shit actually happening.

We spent the entire 5 hour drive from San Diego to Phoenix talking about these boys. I've met Jasper on many occasions. He's the calm to Alice's crazy. I've also met Alice's big brother Emmett, and I mean that in more ways than age because the dude is one built mofo. I met him the one time I traveled to Phoenix with her for one of Jasper's games. He's a character that's for sure and I think him and Lita will really hit it off. I guess Edward was out of town at some training conference that weekend. Go figure.

After we have all finished getting dressed and I have practiced every single breathing technique that Pilates and Yoga has taught me, we head to the restaurant to surprise the boys. Time to act like my stomach is not in complete knots. Alice is usually pretty spot on in her assessments so I'll have faith in her that she knows this won't be a complete disaster. And if Edward is anything like Jasper, sweet, sensitive, funny, and I can't forget, good looking, then I should be fine. Yes, this will be great.

**~7pm~**

I swear my world stops turning the minute I lay my eyes on him. He is seriously the most beautiful man I have ever seen. His jaw line is what draws my attention first. It's square and strong and masculine and covered with a day's worth of stubble. So sexy. Moving upwards to his perfectly pouty lips, I find myself wanting to run my tongue in the sexy little divot under his bottom lip. His nose, with the slight off center curve to it, makes me want to give him Eskimo kisses. His eyes, I can't see what color they are from this distance, pale green maybe. He's got these bushy caterpillar eyebrows that would look hideous on anyone else and I want to run my fingertips over them. His hair is a hot, fiery mess and my fingers twitch with anticipation of tugging on it when he slams into me with his...

_"Whoa, where did that thought come from?"_ I wonder in my mind. I turn and focus on Alice and Jasper in front of me because I don't want him to catch me staring at him. I feel a surge rip through my body a moment later and can feel his eyes on me. It's weird, but I kind of like it.

We follow the kissing twosome over to the table. I'm so nervous I feel like I might fall over even though I'm wearing my slip-on Vans and not some ridiculous pair of stiletto heels like Lita wanted me to, so I link my arm with hers and grip her bicep tightly. She knows how nervous I get when meeting new people, especially with meeting Edward. She pushes her fingers into my pocket as a silent show of support. I keep repeating, "This will be great!" over and over in my mind. Alice introduces Lita and me to them and I finally snap out of my stupor.

"Nice to meet you Edward." I say as I reach my hand out to him.

"Likewise." He says as his large hand engulfs my much smaller one.

I'm no longer nervous. I feel a shift in my psyche and all that was wrong with my life – the anger, the bitterness, the loneliness – is wiped away. All I can see and all I can feel is him. And at this moment, it is my life's mission to get to know this guy and make him mine.

**Eight hours later...**

**June 20, 2011**

**~3am~**

I've turned into a shameless hussy. I'm wrapped around his body so tight that my muscles are aching. We are both intoxicated, but not so much as to not know what we are doing. I want him, he wants me, we want, together, for more than tonight.

"Edward, please! Please hurry! I'll die if your cock is not inside me in like 5 seconds! Oh god!" I pant into his neck, followed by little nibbles that move up to his ear lobe.

"Shit Bella! I'm trying to go as fast as I can!" He gasps.

He drunkenly stumbles down the short hallway and tosses me onto his bed.

"Get naked, HB." He demands as he tosses his button up behind him.

I strip quickly, seeing how I only hooked a few of the clasps on my corset after the douche bag security guard cock blocked us. Now that I think about it though, I'm grateful we got caught because this, here in his bedroom, on his big comfy bed, is so much better than fucking in the pool or on a lounge chair would have been. I notice him staring at me hungrily.

"Jesus, you're fucking beautiful." he tells me and I feel a flush cover my entire body. I've been called beautiful before but never like that, never so passionately.

"Edward, I need you, touch me! Please, fuck me!" I unabashedly plead with him. I need to feel the caress of fingertips on my skin so I start to run my hands over my heated flesh.

I notice him struggling to free his legs from his jeans. I can't help the bubble of hysterical laughter that breaks free from my chest as he falls face first onto his bed.

"Shut the fuck up Honey Bee! If you want to get up on my cock you could help me you know. Shit!" He says, laughing. He can't really be mad if he's laughing, right?

I push him onto his back and slide off the bed. Grabbing his feet off the floor I pull each leg free and then let them drop back to the floor. With surprisingly no hesitation on my part, I drop to my knees and settle in between his thighs. I wrap my fingers around the base of his cock.

"Seriously Edwardo, you have the most beautiful cock I've ever laid eyes on. It's perfect." I'm staring but I can't help it. His dick is seriously a piece of art. I notice I'm unconsciously trailing my fingers in and out of the dips and curves of his six pack and that sexy "v" that many men can only dream of having.

Wardo just stares at me, his lips slightly parted. His hungry stare empowers me to put my mouth on him. This is only the second time I've given a blowjob. Crazy, right? I'm almost 29 years old.

I was seventeen when I tried the first time. It was with the most popular guy in school, Marcus Whitlock. It was after one of his football games at a party at Gianna Volturi's house. I was a little tipsy and had always had a huge crush on Marcus so I was a goner when he started flirting with me. To make a crappy story short, we ended up in the bathroom and he was not amused when he rammed his cock down my throat, gagging me, and I threw up all over the front of his khaki pants. From then on I was scared of cocks like people are scared of clowns. Alice and Lita staged an intervention and now I'm well versed on how to give a proper blowy and Edward will be the first recipient of my yet to be used mad skills.

He drawls out a slow and sexy "Ohhhhhh, fuuuuuuuck!" when I slide his impressive length into my mouth.

I scrape my teeth lightly against him, and hollow my cheeks out to create a sort of vacuum, and I remember to pay extra attention to his sensitive head. I drag my hand along the portion of him that's not in my mouth and soon he's thrusting lightly into my mouth. I don't think he's even aware he's doing it, but it's gentle so I don't mind. I try to take him in a bit further and gag.

"God damn HB, that's so fucking hot! Do it again." He begs.

Ok then, I guess it's okay as long as I don't throw up on him. I push back down on him and try to swallow around him. Quicker than I can comprehend, he pulls me off of him by my hair. He pulls me up over the hard planes of his body, spreads my thighs so I'm straddling him and I instinctively start to grind on him.

"Condom Edward, need a condom now. Where are they?" I ask impatiently.

"Motherfucker! They're in the bathroom." he tells me, shoving me off his lap, before he sprints down the hall.

I can hear the slap slap, slap slap of his cock hitting his stomach and fall over in a fit of giggles.

"What the fuck HB? Why are you always laughing at me?" he whines. Adorable.

"I could hear your cock slapping your stomach the whole way there and back!" I gasp out between my drunken belly laughs. Then I snort.

"Did you just snort Honey Bee?" he asks me, straight faced.

But that doesn't last long as he falls onto the bed in a fit of manly drunken giggles. I notice the box in his hands and I grab it, giving him my best bitch brow.

"The whole box Edwardo? A little presumptuous aren't we." I grin.

"Fuck off Bella! I was trying to hurry back to you, but maybe I'll just roll over and pass out." he says as he rolls to the other side of the bed.

"Well you got a wee little problem there babe." I point to his straining hard erection.

"Wee little? Seriously HB? You wound me. I'll go jack off and I'll be fine. See you in a few." He tells me, scooting closer to the edge of the bed.

I attach myself to his muscular back and start whispering in his ear about how his cock isn't little and how I want him to cum all over my body, on my face and my tits and my ass and my back and I think I even said I want it on my toes. Ewww!

He spins me around so I'm straddling him again before grabbing a condom out of the box. I snatch it out of his hand and roll it on. I moan fairly indecently when I slide down on him. My head drops back at the exquisite feeling of fullness and he rests his forehead on my chest.

"Fuck Honey Bee, you're so warm and so wet, so tight, so motherfucking right." I stifle a laugh at his cheesiness. He's too cute.

"Oh my god, Jesus, Edward, you feel so fucking good and you aren't even moving yet." I moan out.

"Give me a minute Bella. You feel too good and I'm about to bust a nut already." He says, but I start to rotate my hips anyway.

He lifts me up slowly, but I'm too wound up for slow so I slam myself down onto him. I maintain a pretty fast rhythm and I'm using his ears and his hair to help me keep pace.

"Oh fuck, I can feel you. I can feel every delicious vein and ridge of your cock rubbing inside of me. It's so good, so fucking good." I pant out, breathlessly.

He stands up and turns us around, laying me down on the bed, never breaking our connection. He lifts my feet up to rest on his shoulders but after a minute he pushes my knees out and watches where he is steadily pumping himself into me.

I close my eyes and start playing with my nipples. He lets out a crazy sexy groan and I open my eyes. His look is predatory and before my brain can comprehend what's happening I've slid my hand down my body and am rubbing tight circles over my clit.

"Holy Shit HB! That's so sexy, so motherfucking sexy, you have no idea. I hope your close because I don't think I'll be able to stop this time." He pleads with me. I'm close and I tell him so.

He sets my feet flat on the edge of the bed and wraps his long fingers around my inner thighs and pounds into me, once, twice, three times and I'm falling into the embrace of the most intensely pleasurable orgasm of my entire life. I have to force my eyes open so I can watch him, because I'm not missing his O face. I'm not disappointed.

His neck muscles tense up and he pulls his lips back, gritting his teeth together and scrunches his nose and squeezes his eyes shut tightly and furrows his insanely sexy eye brows. I could probably have another orgasm just from watching his face as he cums. We'll have to test that theory some time.

He suddenly lurches forward but catches himself before he falls on top of me. I wiggle up the bed so I'm lying on it properly and try to drag him with me. He gets on his knees and, holy fuck! He pushes his hips forward slightly, causing his abs to contract. The man is deadly. He pulls the condom off, ties it in a knot and tosses it off the side of the bed. I give him the eyebrow again, he shrugs and I smile coyly at him as he falls next to me on the bed. He asks what the smile is for.

"That was... I don't think there is a term that will suitably describe what I just experienced with you. It was amazing. Thank you." I say as I roll over, kissing his lips, his nose, each cheek and each eye lid and then finally his forehead. I then tuck myself into the soft curve of his neck and sigh, "Happy Birthday, Edward."

"It was extraordinary, just like you, my little Honey Bee." He says and I can't help the girly giggles that leave my mouth. I nestle myself further into his neck. He kisses my head and wraps his arms around me tightly. The last thing I hear before drifting off into the best sleep I've ever had is, "Thanks for the best birthday ever and the best birthday sex too."

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you for reading this outtake. I know many of you had asked for this one so I hope I did it justice. Let me know. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!  
><strong>


	25. Outtake 4 – Rosalie

**A/N: Hi ladies and at least one gent that I know of. This is the last installment of Last Friday Night. That's right. With this post LFN is officially complete. I have an announcement for you at the bottom though. **

**Thanks again to my betas, LovinRob and DannysMom. **

**And thanks to all of my readers and reviewers.**

* * *

><p>Last Friday Night Outtake<br>Rosalie

Fuck Her Gently

After we ditched Wardo and Bella at the pool, we practically sprinted to his apartment. Well Ham ran and I clung, still with my arms and legs wrapped tightly around him. He fumbles with the door key a few times and then finally, FINALLY, we are in his apartment. Alone. For the whole night. Oh the possibilities. Suddenly I'm airborn and can't see a thing.

The growl that emanates from his chest makes my thighs quiver. I quickly bring my knees together and reach up to pull my dress down. I want to, no, need to see him but he has other ideas. When he tossed me onto the bed the short hem of my dress flew up, covering my face and uncovering my body from tits down. He growls again and yanks on my ankles, pulling me to the end of the mattress. He pulls on the 6 inch stiletto spike of my Christian Louboutin heels, effectively removing both of them.

"Sit up baby doll." He tells me.

I comply readily. Finally the frothy material of my dress falls from my face and I can see him. He really is insanely handsome with his short blonde hair, blue eyes and sexy dimples. His tight shirt and snug fitting pants leave little to the imagination about how much the boy works out. His biceps and his thighs, oh my. Baby can work me out any day. I can't wait to see it first hand though. I've been practically drooling all night, vibrating with sexual tension and eager anticipation.

"Take the dress off and lay back." He instructs me.

I tuck my legs up underneath me and stand on my knees in front of him.

"But I need help with the zipper." I faux pout, tilting my head to the side for effect.

He reaches his strong arms around me and slowly pulls the zipper down my back. When he pulls his arms back to his sides, I cross my arms and grab the bottom of my dress. I pull it up and over my head, slowly and sensually, and the sound he makes as he inhales sharply makes me grin, smugly and satisfactorily.

I'm left kneeling before him in nothing but my nude colored lingerie. A strapless bra that I didn't really need to wear but it gave me great cleavage so it was a must. I have great tits, perky and full and a bit on the large side, but no one has great cleavage on their own. I'm also wearing a teeny tiny pair of silk bikini panties. I prefer silk over lace; it makes me feel sexy and sophisticated. And the smoothness of the material feels amazing against my bare hooha.

I try to fall onto my side as gracefully as possible. I kick my feet out and bend my elbow, resting my head on my palm.

"I have to pee. Don't move." He groans out.

I flop down onto the bed, giggling, as he walks out. I look around his room while he's gone. It's surprisingly clean and stink free. He's made the most of the small space, which includes a California king size bed by the way. There is a small square nightstand between the bed and the sliding glass door. The only things on top are an alarm clock and his phone charger. There is a large flat screen TV mounted on the wall in front of the bed with a long and narrow dresser underneath it leaving just enough space to walk between it and the bed.

There is also a spear of some sort adorning the wall behind the bed. It looks like that thing Ariel's father carried around in The Little Mermaid. Interesting. His bed is covered in a soft and silky gold comforter with deep, dark maroon colored sheets if his pillowcases are any indication. I roll onto my back just as he walks back in. Well, he struts really and the man knows how to strut.

And he's fucking shirtless. Kill me now. The pecs and the abs and whatever the hell those muscles are on top of his shoulders. I failed Anatomy, fuck off. The way his trousers sit just so on his hips is down right dangerous. He slides on to the bed next to me and grabs behind my right knee, hitching it over his thigh and running his soft, large hand up and down my thigh.

"You're so fucking sexy, spread out on my bed in practically nothing." He says into my neck, running his nose around my ear and traveling down before placing a wet, open mouthed kiss on my throat followed by several chaste pecks on my lips.

"Emmett you gotta touch me, please." I beg with zero shame.

I can feel his smile against my neck. His hand leaves my thigh and moves to my back where he expertly flicks open my bra.

"This needs to go." He says, leaning up on one elbow as he pulls the offending garment from my body.

"Perfection." He whispers reverently, dropping his mouth to my nipple.

"Oh damn." I say as I feel his warm and wet tongue suck my nipple into his mouth. He is also now cupping my breast and massaging it gently. I instinctively arch into him. He chuckles low in his throat but opens his mouth wider and takes almost my entire size D breast into his mouth. I've never really been one for boob play but this is something else entirely.

He gently pushes me onto my back and nudges his way between my legs. He hovers over me and now has better access so he can fondle both of my breasts. One in his large hand and one in his wet mouth. Its heaven and I can't help but lift my hips up in search of some friction.

"Fuck me." He gurgles with his mouth still full of boob.

"If you insist." I say, grinning triumphantly.

He pushes his hips into me fairly hard. I can feel the rock hard outline of his cock even through the material of his pants. That can't be comfortable. I reach down, my focus shifting from the feeling of his hands and mouth on my skin to getting his pants off. I get my fingers of one hand wrapped around the belt when he reaches down and pulls my hand away, pinning it above my head.

"Not yet Rosie. I'm too amped up. I'll shoot off immediately if you touch me right now." He says, kissing me hungrily.

He rolls over to the edge of the bed, taking me with him and stands up, pushing me into the wall. He pushes one hand into the back of my panties, gently rubbing his palm across my ass cheek before giving it a good squeeze. He then moves his hand to my hip, gripping the fragile material there. With a firm tug I am now completely naked.

He presses his chest against mine, pinning me to the wall. He then lets his hands roam all over my body. My stomach, my hips, my ass, my thighs, my back, but never where I'm wet and wanting for him.

"Jesus. You're a fucking a tease." I huff, biting him gently on his meaty shoulder.

"Mmm." Is all he says.

He pulls his chest from mine, but presses his hips into me instead, stilling keeping me pinned. He continues to rub my body, paying extra special, gentle attention to my tits. He circles my entire breast with his fingertips, progressively getting smaller and smaller with his rounds until he's drawing tight little O's around each of my nipples. Then he gives each one a firm pinch between his thumb and middle fingers.

I grab him on both sides of his face and pull him in for a kiss. We make out heavily, drool running down both of our chins and heavy moans breaking the silence in the room.

He quickly pulls me away from the wall, spins me around and turns us towards the wall that is perpendicular to his bed. He reaches in front of me with one hand and grabs both of my wrists, lifting my arms up and planting my palms onto the wall.

He continues to tease me with his hand that is not holding my wrists. He is nipping and licking at my neck and grinding his still pants clad cock into my naked behind. I'm moaning like a porn star and couldn't care less. I am done with the teasing though.

I push my back into him and brace myself against his chest. I lift my feet quickly and push off the wall, hard. I must catch him off guard because he screams and we both fall back. Good thing he has such a large bed because we fall perfectly onto the mattress.

"You scream like a fucking girl, Ham." I say, scrambling away from him.

"So!" He says petulantly. Since my back is to him I'd bet money he was sticking his tongue out at me based on his tone alone.

He sits up and moves against the headboard, lifting his arms and clasping his hands behind his head.

I move quickly and straddle him backwards. I reach between my legs and make hasty work of opening his belt before he can stop me again. Since he hasn't made any move to stop me, I continue on and in my haste I actually pop the button completely off his trousers.

"Hey! These are my favorite pants woman!" He says, looking over my shoulder at his now buttonless, favorite pants.

"Consider it payback for ripping my favorite pair of panties." I say, not paying him any attention as I pull his zipper down.

I pull my feet underneath me and squat above him as I grip each side of his pants and pull. He's not helping so the pants don't budge.

"Some help please!" I demand, looking over my shoulder at him.

His eyes are transfixed on my ass.

"Huh?" He says, not even attempting to look away from where I'm hovering over him.

"You want my candy, baby?" I say, wiggling my ass a little at him.

"Fuck yeah!" He says, finally breaking out of his trance and gripping my hips tightly.

"Then lift your damn ass, fucker!" I say exasperatedly.

He lifts and I pull his pants over his hips and down to his knees. I drop back into his lap again and use my toes to push them down the rest of the way. He kicks them free from his ankles and bends his knees between my legs, spreading me open.

He runs his hands over the outsides of my thighs down to my knees, and then moves ever so slowly inwards and upwards. He stops when he reaches the juncture where my thighs meet my pussy.

"Fuck this shit." I pant breathlessly.

I move my right hand down to my aching sex. I run my first three fingers through my folds quickly, coating them with moisture and then moving them to my clit, pressing down hard. I'm so keyed up that I orgasm instantly.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I chant as waves of pleasure ripple through me.

"I can't believe you just did that." Emmett says incredulously.

"What? I don't like to be teased and you had me on edge so I took matters into my own hands." I tell him, tilting my head and looking back so I can see his face.

"That was fucking incredible!" He says, gripping my chin and plunging his tongue into my mouth.

"But I'm not done with you yet." He says against my lips.

He plants his feet flat and lifts his hips. I feel his hands under my ass and realize that he is taking his underwear off. An aftershock of pleasure shoots through my pussy in anticipation.

His cock springs free and his head slaps me perfectly on my clit. The simultaneous groans of approval are almost enough to make me giggle. I reach down and press his hard shaft against me, running my palm along the underside.

"Of Jesus fuck and Mary too." He says.

I totally giggle at that. It quickly turns into a wanton moan though as he thrusts upwards.

"I'm gonna fuck you softly. I'm gonna screw you gently. I'm gonna hump you sweetly. I'm gonna ball you discreetly." He says, almost singing but he's breathing too hard.

I fall off of him into a fit of giggles.

"I can't..." I say between very unladylike guffaws.

"I can't. I mean you just quoted Tenacious D to me. I can't believe that shit. Fucking epic!" I say, snorting.

He grabs my hips, rolling me over to face him. He's grinning like a fool and I fall apart again. I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe and I have tears falling over my cheeks.

"Hey." He says, wiping my tears away and looking at me with a serious expression on his handsome face.

"Yeah?" I say, quickly recovering from my giggle fest.

"What's your favorite dish?" He asks me, deadpan.

I frown, attempting to keep from smiling or laughing. I'll play along.

"Umm... Oh I know. Mac & cheese. But not the kind from a box." I say, barely holding back a shudder of disgust at the thought of that neon orange powder shit. Gross.

"I'm not gonna cook it, but I'll order it from Zanzibar! And then I'm gonna love you completely. And then I'll fucking fuck you discreetly. And then I'll fucking bone you completely. But then I'm gonna fuck you hard. Hard!" He sings.

"Promise?" I ask, wrapping my arms around his chest and tugging him over on top of me.

"Hell yeah! But let's start with the fucking first shall we?" He asks, pulling his hips back and lining himself up to enter me.

"Yesssss." I say, wrapping my legs around his butt and pulling him into me.

He slides right in and it feels so perfect and he's just sitting there, inside me, not moving. I've had quite a bit of sex before and have never felt anything like this in any experience I've had.

"Oh godgodgodgodgod. I've never... I can't... This is... This is... More... So much more." He stutters, resting his forehead on my own.

He pulls back and slowly thrusts back in.

"Sweet baby Jesus and the almighty heavens!" He praises.

"I didn't know you were so religious Ham?" I question jokingly.

"Only on the altar of your pussy, baby." He says as he continues his torturously slow thrusting.

For the next several minutes or hours or days or weeks the only sounds we hear are moans and whimpers and grunts and groans and it's the most beautiful music my ears have ever heard.

"Ham, baby, go faster. Please baby, give me more." I plead.

He pulls up, settling onto his knees and lifts one of my legs straight up, wrapping his arms around my thigh. He starts to move faster. It's still a smooth and gentle and fucking awesome push and pull, not a rough pounding like most guys assume you want when you say things like 'more' and 'faster'.

"Like this?" He asks.

"Holy hell! Where have you been all my life?" I ask.

"Can you go again?" He asks, nodding at my vagina.

"Yeah. Are you close?" I ask, wanting him to get off too because I'm toast after two orgasms.

"Waiting on you. Fucking hell." He says, dropping his head back.

I move my hand down and wrap it around his cock lightly so as not to disturb his movement. Since he wasn't expecting it he does falter slightly but regains his momentum as soon as he realizes what I'm doing. He looks down where we are joined and his eyes droop even more. His 'I'm about to blow' face is spectacular.

Once my fingers are coated I move to circle my clit. I rub the pads of my fingertips in a side sweeping motion and within seconds of watching me touch myself Emmett erupts. His 'I'm blowing' face is dead motherfucking sexy. The smile and the dimples alone are enough to send me flying again.

"Dude! Fucking A, holy shit and god damn it." He says, still thrusting eractically.

"Did you just call me dude while mid orgasm?" I ask, trying to stifle my laughter.

"I so did dude." He says, finally collapsing on top of me.

"Ham?" I ask.

"Yeah Rosie?" He says, face still buried in my neck.

"I can't breath." I grunt.

"Oh shit. Sorry baby girl." He says, lifting off of me just enough to allow me to breathe easy.

"It's okay." I tell him, rubbing my nose against his scruffy cheek.

He finally slips out of me and I lift my hips a bit. He lifts his head from the crook of my neck and looks at me questioningly.

"I don't want to make a mess on the sheets." I tell him, angling my head down in that general direction.

"Why would you make a mess on the sheets?" He asks dubiously.

"Seriously Ham?" I ask, wondering if he's for real.

He doesn't respond, just continues to stare at me. Dumb boy.

"I don't want your cum to leak out of me and drip all over the sheets." I tell him, speaking slowly so he'll understand.

His eyes finally widen in realization.

"Fuck! I didn't even think to ask about that. We didn't use anything." He says, frowning.

"It's ok, I get the Depo shot and I trust you." I tell him, running my fingers across his scrunched up eyebrows, trying to loosen his anxiety.

"Thank fuck. I'm sorry. I'm not usually that careless. Not that this happens often or anything like that. I'm not as bad as Wardo and Jizz say I am. In fact, it's been..." He rambles.

"Ham? Shut the fuck up. It's cool." I say, giving him an Eskimo kiss.

"Want a towel or some shit. No, wait, wait, wait. How about a shower?" He asks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Hmm." I ponder, tapping my lip as if I'm in deep thought.

"We can shower separately if you prefer." He says, looking like a sad little boy.

"No. I don't prefer that at all. Now get me something for in between my legs." I tell him, pushing him off me.

"Oh, I think you know I've got something to put between your legs." He says proudly.

"Oh yes. I know and it's rather messy." I say, scrunching my nose up at him.

"That's enough of your smart mouth missy." He says, pulling me into his arms and carrying me bridal style into the bathroom.

"Well, I was thinking about maybe, possibly, putting my smart mouth to use later, but if you've really had enough..." I say innocently.

He growls at me again and we start all over again in the confines of his shower stall.

Best day ever.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well there you have it. I hope you all enjoyed the outtakes. I urge you all to go to my shitty blog and watch the video's that I used as inspiration for this chapter. Nom nom nom and a big ole' LMFAO!**

**lastfridaynight-amandac3(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**Anyway, announcement time. I'm doing a sequel! Yay! Right?  
>It's called Saturday Night Fever and it picks up right where we left off in the epilogue. There will be more info when it posts, which will be in a few days, so stay tuned. <strong>

**I also want to say one more thing real quick. I became the crappiest review replier ever towards the end of this story. I got sooooooo behind that I couldn't figure out who I responded to or not so I decided that I'm not even gonna try and pledge that I will stay on top of my replies with the sequel. I appreciate the reviews more than anything and I hope my lack of response hasn't turned people off from reviewing more.**

**Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!**


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